anatomy of a prom

The moment that grade twelves wait for all year (or maybe that's just me?) has come and passed. Prom was sweet-bitter; bittersweet, but in reverse, and no less lovely for it. Here's how it all went down...(Warning: long post ahead. But at least I look gorgeous in the photos, so you have plenty of eye candy.)

2:00: wake up with last minute terrors: what if no one shows up? What if everyone else looks much better in their dress than I do?

3:30: convince self that fears are groundless and go back to sleep.

5:30: wake up. Read Georgette Heyer novel and do yoga in attempt to calm self down. This will be basically your entire day, because it doesn't quite work. (Aka: you are so stressed that you're not even hungry. This has never happened to you before, but you appreciate not needing to eat every fifteen minutes.)

2:00: buy Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuchino, because sugar + caffeine= good in every situation. (Especially when you've already been awake for almost 12 hours...)

2:30: arrive at friend's home to start getting ready.

3:30: actually start getting ready. This includes:

-redoing hair 17 times because the style that seemed so simple the first 10 times you practiced has suddenly acquired the complexity of open heart surgery

-acquiring a taste for country music

-texting other friends frantically

-worrying that makeup is too heavy and that you look clownlike

5:45: supposed time of arrival at school.

6:10: actual time of arrival at school. (Oops.) Wander around admiring everyone's dresses.

6:20: get photo taken by professional photographer and feel like model.

(too. much. glamour.) 

 6:30: be forced to put on cap and gown. Realise that the cap makes you look like you're bald, and that you now have to go up on stage wearing it in front of everyone there. (Of course this is also when your date will walk in and you will make a gorgeous first impression.)

6:40: nearly pass out or vomit from stress.

7:00: ceremony actually starts. Listen to long and boring speeches by people you don't even know.

8:00: things are perking up- you've received plenty of scholarships! (The advantages of a) being a nerd and b) going to a small school.)

8:30: realise that if you don't get out of the cap and gown soon you're going to die of excessive sweating before the fun part even starts.

9:00: ceremony finally ends. Sprint to take off your gown, then take lots and lots of photos with friends. They will all be attractive (even if you are as red as a tomato in many of them. And not just your dress. Sigh) despite the awkward school background.

(extra cupcakeness!)

(even though I'm not actually looking, I had to include this to a) show off my eye makeup and b) show off my date... aren't we cute?) 

9:10: admire corsage...

...bought by Bond Girl friends. (The ladies of mystery, dressed all in black.)

(this is honestly my favourite photo of the night. I have no idea why)

9:20: wander around (again) and try to figure out what's going on. (This is your life in a sentence.)

9:30: find the dance floor. Immediately start dancing like a maniac with friends... even if you're the only ones there. (Sad story.)

(we definitely had the most fun)

 9:45: slowdance with date. Dragons. (Like butterflies, but fire-breathing.)

9:50: continue dancing with friends. Forget to say goodbye to all your classmates as they begin to depart for the after-party. (...Whoops.)

10:20: slowdance last song with Kori. Be pleased you are not slowdancing with date because the two of you are so sweaty that it produces a bit of a Velcro attachment effect.

10:30: watch date leave. Realise that, yes, this is all actually happening, and that you won't see many of these people again, and start crying.

10:40: after a few final photos with friends, depart for McDonald's.

11:00: have mood slightly boosted by ice cream and listening in your friends' two separate conversations.

(McDonald's- where all the cool kids go on a Friday night.)

 11:40: leave McDonald's and drive friend home.

12:20: arrive at after-party.

12:22: get bored of after-party. Realise that being one of the only sober people is No Fun but have no desire to get drunk.

12:40: leave after-party with other sober friend.

1:20: arrive home. Jump on trampoline in effort to boost mood.

1:30: collapse on kitchen floor and cry so hard even your cat won't come near you.

2:00: go to bed, still teary but slightly more able to breathe.

...and there you have it: my graduation. Minus the hysterical sobbing (and the never-ending speeches), I enjoyed myself. (And if you really read every word of this, major brownie points to you- not quite enough yet for a home-baked pan, but close.) 

the statistics of prom dresses

Last week, I realised a terrifying fact.

I was the only girl in my class who didn't yet have a prom dress.

When you're one of six girls, that isn't a huge deal... but still. I was abnormal! That never happens! (Cue skeptical laughter...)

I could go on about how silly it is that girls are expected to buy their dresses several months before prom actually happens (it won't be for another two and a half months...) but that's a post all on its own. Therefore, I now present to you... the results of my dress shopping expedition. (Who doesn't love statistics?)

Number of...

...days spent thinking about shopping for it: 124

...days spent actually shopping:  slightly less than one (approx. 6 hours)

...days spent thinking about wearing it: 761 (at least) (this is since before I started highschool)

...days spent wearing it: less than one (sob. cry. I am consoled by the fact that at least it's not too prom-y and I can possibly wear it again someday)

...dresses looked at: 367 (really. at least.)

...of dresses tried on: eighteen

...dresses that didn't fit because of my massive ribcage: four (yes. some people obsess over their thighs or their stomach or their arms. I obsess over my ribcage)

...dresses rejected because of length: twenty-six (because I am too short to wear something floor-length, or even longer than my knees.)

...stores entered: nine

...stores where I tried something on: four

...scary salesgirls faced: eight (like really, don't talk to me. I am perfectly fine on my own.)

...hours in the car: five (so just slightly less than the actual shopping...)

...unknown women who tried to remove my bra: three (thankfully all store employees)

...unknown women who petted me:  one (NOT a store employee) (most awkward moment of the trip)

...so, from this, the conclusion I'm getting to... is that I obsess over things wayyy too much.

However... I have indeed found a dress, so maybe this all paid off?

Sound logical?

What was your prom dress shopping like? What was your dress like? (Or what do you want it to be like, if you haven't yet had a prom?)

sunny day confessions

It's actually gorgeous outside today, so this title isn't wishful thinking!

-It still feels bizarre to be blogging under my real name... but I like it.

-Even more bizarre? I am incapable of pronouncing my own name. I love hearing other people say it, but the way I say it just sounds stilted. (This makes introducing myself difficult...)

-Older ladies often tell me I'm gorgeous but I rarely hear this from people my own age. This confirms my suspicion that I was born in the wrong age.

-Even my mother has now accepted I will be a Crazy Cat Lady... just look at what she gave me for Valentine's Day!

(Hint: it wasn't the clothes... Also, apology for the slightly creepy smile, blame it on the awkward changeroom lighting!)

-The thought of prom is a bit dispiriting right now. Everyone's talking about their dresses, dates, etc, and all I can think is a) I have no idea where to look for my dress b) I'm probably going to be the only one without a date (in a graduating class of ten people, this is not an exaggeration) and c) what if, when I find my dress, it doesn't fit?


-This weekend is going to be a total Chocolate/Junk In General Overload... but whatever, it's so delicious and it's just one weekend, right? (Except it's three days instead of two... oh well, living in a chocolate buzz makes the extra calories worth it!) (Hm... maybe this is why I have no prom date? And why I worry about fitting into a dress? Shhhh)

-I'm scared of putting gas into the van by myself. I'm worried that, just as I put in the nozzle, someone will leap out and kidnap me.

-I'm addicted to this line of body products.

They all smell absolutely luscious- like candied fruit and dessert and everything nice- and I can't stop using them! (Thank you once again, Mum and Sephora.)

What do you have to confess?

promspiration (NOT perspiration)

It might only be February... but for those of us graduating, prom seems to be approaching at light speed. Here are some of my dress ideas! (All of these photos come from Tumblr... at least my procrastination paid off, in a way!)

But first... a workout, just cause I want to look good, youknow?

And now, allons-y!

So adorably retro!

Lace. And corset. OMG.

Okay, so maybe not quite this frothy... but still.

Love love love the rich red colour... and the corset, of course!

This one reminds me of something a faerie would wear. 

Now, dearest ninjas, I'm enlisting your help. Do any of you know of good sites I could peruse? Or, if you live in Canada or near the Canadian border, any actual stores? (I'd really rather try my dress on first... picky, picky!) My top requirement (as you may have noticed) is that it have a corset top (Victorian glamour!)... and other than that, I'm open to anything.

Let the shopping madness begin!

for the nights you'll always remember

Several of you have mentioned that you wanted to see my prom photos. Well, after much sleep and recovery time, I am here to fulfill that deep-seated desire. (Wouldn't want to disappoint anyone! Plus, it was pretty epic.)


Be warned- photo-heavy post ahead! 

The gorgeous cupcakes my friend and I (...ok, mostly my friend) made the day before for the graduating students. (You know it's a small school when...)

Okay, so we were a little bit late... but we still found time to take a few glamour shots!

Bust a move and do the cha-cha! (You can totally see my amazing dance skills here.)

What do you do during awkward slow dances? Take glamour shots in the bathroom, of course. (Obviously, I was a model in another life.)

This is me and my 'date' for the evening- as you can see, we were the most gorgeous girls there. (No one else can compare to our beauty!)

Girls in black- assassins, spies, or simply fashionable? (Good thing there were so many slow dances, or else you'd never get to ponder the question.)

Once we were bored with the photo potential of the bathroom, we headed outside to take yet more glamourous shots. (Sadly, in none of these can you see my shoes... they were truly killer.)

And the after-party begins! Here I am, with some other wonderful girls, just chilling outside while trying to remain alive. (Those mosquitoes were pretty vicious! Thankfully they don't seem to care for my weak vegetarian blood.) 

Why sign a yearbook when you can sign someone's chest...right?

Inhaling helium= FUNNIEST. THING. EVER. (And legal, too.) 

The morning after about two hours of sleep... we may have been too tired to move, but at least the hammock was delightfully comfortable! (I have so many pictures of people sitting there... maybe even more than the glamour bathroom shots!)

And there you have it. It was a wonderful night, dearest readers... Now I simply can't wait for next year, to do it all again. (And actually have the excitement of knowing I get to leave this place!) How were your proms? Do you remember them, or have they yet to pass?

(And I will admit... plenty of other things happened too... but the question is, are they blog-appropriate? Hmmm.)