greetings from winnipeg

So... hi.

I'm alive.

Even well, if you don't count the fact that I'm melting- this is without a doubt the most humid city I have ever visited. I now know how the Wicked Witch must have felt, and pity her sincerely. Other than that, though, I'm having a lovely time!

Best of all... I don't feel lonely. I feel as though this is right where I'm supposed to be.

It's an odd feeling, and not one that I have often. I'm used to being on the outside, looking in- or perhaps on the inside, trapped inside myself, observing my own actions as through through a mirror. (Is that really me? I'm certain my hair didn't look like that this morning...) But, whatever the reason, I feel at home here.

(This may be because I'm exhausted and everything is happening in a dream-like state. Who knows, maybe I really am dreaming- maybe I've been trapped within the mysterious and not-always-functional wifi and this is my plea for help? You may also blame my slightly philosophical state on tiredness. It's the all-purpose excuse.)

life lately...

I haven't done (anything) one of those "Currently..." style posts for a while (okay, I only did one once, so it's not like I've been neglecting a life essential, but still) so I thought I'd let you all know what's crack-a-lacking! (How do you spell that? More to the point, does anyone say that anymore?) 

Listening to...

This song is just so cute and happy! (Plus, someone dressed as the Doctor makes an appearance. Obviously I'd like it.) I've also found myself strangely obsessed with everything Owl City... too cute. It's like a hug in music form. 

Wishing... that I had gum. I really want gum. I also wanted gum yesterday, but we did not have any. THE SADNESS. 

Drinking... matcha.

(from David's Tea, of course!)

For those of you who don't spend over 2 hours browsing online tea sale sites, matcha is powdered green tea that you whisk into a froth and drink with milk... mmmm. It's very sweet and light, perfect even when it's hot out! 

Feeling... terrified, traumatized, tired... why are there so many negative t words? This is the first time I'm mentioning it here, but on Monday I leave to go to Winnipeg for five weeks- I'm very excited about it, but it's bizarre to think that I'm going to be away for such a long time and then leave almost immediately after for university. Everything is happening so fast! (I say, reclining in the hammock and reading...) 

Reading... the short stories of Fitzgerald.

(go read it. trust me.)

So maybe I'm obsessed (and reading into them far too much) but I find their descriptions of evanescent beauty utterly relatable. I might not be pining over lost love but I still feel that sense of being a spectator in my own life that he manages to capture so well. (Can I just say I want to be him? Except minus the drinking and mental breakdowns?) 

Wearing... My aviators. All three pairs. 

And most definitely NOT my uniform. Goodbye, kilt of awkward lenght! Au revoir, polo tent! You, I will not miss. 

Making... this exfoliant scrub from Under Peach Trees!

(her photo, not mine- I doubt mine will be that pretty!)

The idea of cleaning with chocolate and coffee just seemed so luscious that I couldn't resist. (Plus, one of the coffees we have is revolting and this seemed like a good opportunity to get rid of it!)

Watching... Blogilates videos.

DO IT. Right now. I dare you. It's only four minutes long... but it might kill your legs. (Hopefully it does because otherwise I will feel pathetic. Honestly, I'm not sure whether to find the thought that the only thing I'm even watching right now is exercise videos pathetic or not...) 

So what's going on in your life? 

anatomy of a prom

The moment that grade twelves wait for all year (or maybe that's just me?) has come and passed. Prom was sweet-bitter; bittersweet, but in reverse, and no less lovely for it. Here's how it all went down...(Warning: long post ahead. But at least I look gorgeous in the photos, so you have plenty of eye candy.)

2:00: wake up with last minute terrors: what if no one shows up? What if everyone else looks much better in their dress than I do?

3:30: convince self that fears are groundless and go back to sleep.

5:30: wake up. Read Georgette Heyer novel and do yoga in attempt to calm self down. This will be basically your entire day, because it doesn't quite work. (Aka: you are so stressed that you're not even hungry. This has never happened to you before, but you appreciate not needing to eat every fifteen minutes.)

2:00: buy Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuchino, because sugar + caffeine= good in every situation. (Especially when you've already been awake for almost 12 hours...)

2:30: arrive at friend's home to start getting ready.

3:30: actually start getting ready. This includes:

-redoing hair 17 times because the style that seemed so simple the first 10 times you practiced has suddenly acquired the complexity of open heart surgery

-acquiring a taste for country music

-texting other friends frantically

-worrying that makeup is too heavy and that you look clownlike

5:45: supposed time of arrival at school.

6:10: actual time of arrival at school. (Oops.) Wander around admiring everyone's dresses.

6:20: get photo taken by professional photographer and feel like model.

(too. much. glamour.) 

 6:30: be forced to put on cap and gown. Realise that the cap makes you look like you're bald, and that you now have to go up on stage wearing it in front of everyone there. (Of course this is also when your date will walk in and you will make a gorgeous first impression.)

6:40: nearly pass out or vomit from stress.

7:00: ceremony actually starts. Listen to long and boring speeches by people you don't even know.

8:00: things are perking up- you've received plenty of scholarships! (The advantages of a) being a nerd and b) going to a small school.)

8:30: realise that if you don't get out of the cap and gown soon you're going to die of excessive sweating before the fun part even starts.

9:00: ceremony finally ends. Sprint to take off your gown, then take lots and lots of photos with friends. They will all be attractive (even if you are as red as a tomato in many of them. And not just your dress. Sigh) despite the awkward school background.

(extra cupcakeness!)

(even though I'm not actually looking, I had to include this to a) show off my eye makeup and b) show off my date... aren't we cute?) 

9:10: admire corsage...

...bought by Bond Girl friends. (The ladies of mystery, dressed all in black.)

(this is honestly my favourite photo of the night. I have no idea why)

9:20: wander around (again) and try to figure out what's going on. (This is your life in a sentence.)

9:30: find the dance floor. Immediately start dancing like a maniac with friends... even if you're the only ones there. (Sad story.)

(we definitely had the most fun)

 9:45: slowdance with date. Dragons. (Like butterflies, but fire-breathing.)

9:50: continue dancing with friends. Forget to say goodbye to all your classmates as they begin to depart for the after-party. (...Whoops.)

10:20: slowdance last song with Kori. Be pleased you are not slowdancing with date because the two of you are so sweaty that it produces a bit of a Velcro attachment effect.

10:30: watch date leave. Realise that, yes, this is all actually happening, and that you won't see many of these people again, and start crying.

10:40: after a few final photos with friends, depart for McDonald's.

11:00: have mood slightly boosted by ice cream and listening in your friends' two separate conversations.

(McDonald's- where all the cool kids go on a Friday night.)

 11:40: leave McDonald's and drive friend home.

12:20: arrive at after-party.

12:22: get bored of after-party. Realise that being one of the only sober people is No Fun but have no desire to get drunk.

12:40: leave after-party with other sober friend.

1:20: arrive home. Jump on trampoline in effort to boost mood.

1:30: collapse on kitchen floor and cry so hard even your cat won't come near you.

2:00: go to bed, still teary but slightly more able to breathe.

...and there you have it: my graduation. Minus the hysterical sobbing (and the never-ending speeches), I enjoyed myself. (And if you really read every word of this, major brownie points to you- not quite enough yet for a home-baked pan, but close.) 

nothing is cuter than cats

Yesterday, I discovered a new place to add to my list of "Tatiana's Ideal Volunteer Positions"- the SPCA.

Why?

All you have to do is pet cats!

Recently, I've felt a little bit superfluous. Witness my blood donating (which was accurate in this case too- witness all the scratches I recieved) and my library volunteering and my reading of classics- these might not world-shaking actions, but they're my contribution to society. I'd been thinking of volunteering more, and the SPCA is right near my school... so, I thought, why not?

Plus, I'm already a cat expert/future crazy cat lady, so I might as well share my expertise! This may seem like an idle boast but if you saw the number of cat books I read when I was little... (I even named all the cats on my posters. And cat pictures I saw in books. That is dedication.)

Regardless, when I showed up, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. At first I felt as thought I was cheating them (let's face it, as enjoyable as petting cats is, it's not the usual amount of work I associate with volunteering) but then I realised: it is my duty to help these cats NOT become like Darcy... aka: apt to run and hide from everyone, meowing constantly in a sad tone for no apparent reason, time-travelling aside. (This is a Serious Mission.)

...also they were just so cute and cuddly and omg how could anyone not want to play with them? (Kitten love!) I could literally feel my heart slowing down. (Which sounds vaguely corpselike... but I mean it in a good way.)  It was better than meditation! (Whenever I try to meditate I get distracted and usually start thinking about food. And then I make myself hungry and am even more distracted and just give up the entire endeavor.)

I can't even post photos because the cuteness quotient would be too overwhelming and I don't want your screen to explode

I did, however, feel sorry for the people who encountered me in my visit to the grocery store directly afterwards. I was so covered in fur that I could have been mistaken for a yeti... but don't worry, I tried to stay away from the produce. (People with cat allergies: I apologise.)

advice for my younger self

I looked at the calendar today, and realised: my last class of highschool is next week.

MIND. BLOWN.

Not to be cliché, but... time really did pass quickly. (Except for during many of my classes. I'm pretty sure I could have skipped them without too many regrets... If only I went to a school with more students, wherein my absence would not be noticed. Or at least one at which my mother didn't teach.)

However, looking back, I noticed quite a few things I'd change. Unfortunately, as I do not have a Tardis, they'll remain regrets... but I thought I'd compile a list of advice I'd give my eighth-grade self, before coming to high school. Just in case.

1. Breathe. Ask yourself, "Is this really such a big deal? Will I remember this in a couple of years?" The answer is usually Yes... Yes, you'll remember it because you stressed way too much about it. Just chill out. (Picture your older self wearing hippie glasses and waving a palm leaf... for some reason that's the image that comes to mind when I say chill out. Who knows why.)

2. You don't have to get along with everyone. You know those people you think are mildly annoying but you think you should talk to because they're in your class? Don't bother. You can make better friends elsewhere.

3. But on that note, do actually try to make friends. Books are lovely, but socialising is important too! Just pick people you actually have interests in common with.

4. You have the power to change things. Mostly, this means: pluck your eyebrows. It is a Big Issue in your life, and it's not a big deal to change them, so DO IT.

Or in a more deep way: the world is yours, so go get it.

5. ...but if you can't change it, walk away. You know all those situations you felt really uncomfortable in? You're allowed to leave. Don't think you have to stay somewhere just because everyone else is.

6. Trust yourself. If you think you're going to hate something, assume that you're right and don't do it. (I'm thinking of all the 'school-bonding' activities that I attended. I can't think of one I enjoyed, and yet I went to quite a few... seriously, just don't do it.)

7. You are likeable. Don't assume that you're entirely forgettable. You're worth more than that. (You probably don't believe me, and I don't really believe myself in typing it, but I'm hoping that it'll come true by repetition.)

8. Don't allow your mother to buy you uniform shirts. She will buy you the wrong size, and the result will be that you're miserable for over a year. (They don't shrink that much, and I didn't grow that much. I am not an elephant.)

9. Keep in contact. You know those people you met, and liked, and... never talked to again? Yeah. Send them a message! A letter! A text! It's not that hard, and it might be awkward at first, but really, what do you have to lose? (Confession: I am so bad at this. Still. Which is why I'm putting it down in writing.)

10. Exercise is your friend. You know how you always think you're too klutzy to go running/dancing/move in general? Well, the more you work on it, the better you'll get. (You'll probably still fall down quite a lot, but you'll do it gracefully.)

11. Don't study so much. My studying schedule went like this.
Grade 9: "OMG if I don't study this for hours I will fail and my life will be forever ruined omg must spend hours doing this"
Grade 10: "Hmm I should probably write an intense study guide. I can use it to review next year!"
Grade 11: "Okay, I'll review and rewrite some notes..."
Grade 12: "I don't understand this and I really don't care. I'll still pass and get good grades."

...and every year I did almost equally well. (This goes well with no. 1- just chill out. The only important grades are some grade 11 ones and some grade 12 ones anyway... so really my schedule should have been reversed. Whoops.)

12. Do your own thing. So what if other people think it's lame? You'll have way more fun.

I wish I really did have a time machine so I could send this back to who I used to be- I think it would come in handy. Plus, some of these (especially nos. 1 and 9) are still things I need to remember. What's some advice you'd give your younger self? Do you have any university advice for me?

what I'd like to be known for

Do you ever see connections within the TV shows you're watching? Or the conversations you're having? Or the books you're reading? I don't mean just mentioning the same thing to several people, or watching only crime shows. The connections I'm thinking of are subtler, harder to trace. A character in one novel might prefer an orange dress; a friend will happen to mention that she's been buying a lot of orange clothes. At first it seems coincidental, but as the events keep piling up, they seem to be pointing you further and further in the same direction.

This is the way I've been feeling lately. This quote, and others like it, have been appearing in snippets everywhere:

“One day, you’re seventeen and you’re planning for someday. 

And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today. 

And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.”

― John Green

This terrifies me.

I feel like it's a warning: stop thinking you can plan anything. Stop thinking you have time to waste. (Which is a good thing... but I panic, and then can do nothing.) Do you ever have times when you feel paralysed, caught in time, waiting for something to happen? I feel as though my life has been put on pause, and I'm not quite sure why.

For this reason, this list, from Moorea Seal's list project, was surprisingly difficult for me to write, because I don't know what I want.

(is this clear enough? if not, please tell me so I can change it for next time)

On the whole, this seems fairly comprehensive... it also makes me wonder, am I already some of these things? If people who know me read this, would they laugh at just how off the mark I am? (I hope not.)

One notable exception (in my mind, at least) to this list was smart. I have been known for being smart my entire life, and I'm so tired of it. Being known as 'the smart girl' is exhausting and, in a way, dehumanising. You're not supposed to have weaknesses. You're supposed to be the one who has the answers, who doesn't care what other people think of you because you're just the brain... but that is not all I am.

What about you? What do you want to be known for?

home & energy (in lists!)

...and if that title didn't entice you, I'm not sure what could. Doesn't it sound like a boring radio ad for an energy-efficient fridge? ( (I know, I'm such a saleswoman. However, at least I'm better than one of my friends, who once tried to convince me NOT to buy something from her for a fundraiser. It's a wonder she managed to raise any money... although given my own experiences, I should be more sympathetic.)

Or perhaps it's imploring you to turn off the lights in your house, so I don't have to pop up and do it myself. (Us ninjas prefer the darkness. We're also very environmentally conscious.)

However (my graceful segue word in every occasion, from essays to awkward conversations) that is not actually what this post is about. I have no interest in fridges (other than the fact that they hold food! And food is good! Yay for food!)- today, I'm actually sharing two more of my lists from Moorea Seal's list project.

Week 12: things that feel like home. 

...so it's pretty easy to see that, for the most part, feeling at home means being alone. In the quiet. In the dark. (Again, this can all be explained by my inherent ninja-ness.)

Week 18: ways I'm energized. 

Of course coffee is the first on the list! (Priorities.) Funny how several of these ended up being similar to the previous list, despite having been done weeks apart.

What makes you feel at home? What energises you?

Also: The Great Gatsby comes out on Friday. Excuse me while I pass out from excitement. (NoI'mnotobsessed,whywouldyousaythat?)

university woes

As a soon-to-go-to university student (come on now. Admit that sounds far better than mere "grade 12 student") finances are a big concern. To be completely honest, mostly I try not to think about it. (Popcorn is cheap, right? And apples? If those were my two main food groups, I could survive!) 

...that is, when I'm not applying to scholarships. 

Did any of you apply to scholarships when you went off to school? How many essays did you write? (Honestly, my convictions on such varied subjects as Timing in Jane Austen and Worker's Rights are beginning to astound even me. Hopefully the judges feel the same!) Honestly, even though I'm a good writer, it's exhausting. (Although far better than the essays I have to write for French class... despite my growing ability to make things up when I have nothing to say, there is REALLY nothing I have to say on Agriculture in 18th-Century Quebec.) 

Also, I am of fairly average physical appearance. Meaning... I am neither tall enough to apply for the Tall Girl Scholarship, nor short enough to apply for the Short Girl scholarship. (These are really things.) Even more average, I have no desire to belong to a nudist colony... YES. There is a scholarship for people who want to join a nudist colony. WHY. (Seriously, I don't understand this mainly because there are so many gorgeous clothes out there. Why waste the opportunity?) 

However, I have still managed to find a few to apply to. My most recent one is the S-Trip Scholarship, in which I am even able to win a trip! (Let's face it, travelling is just the best.) 

(And, well... I just look so good doing it, too. Always a consideration.) 

However, I need supporters. I just need six more people... and I have only eight days left... and I'd really appreciate if some of you could help me out! All you need to do is sign up and say that you support me. (Yay for clicking a link!) Here's my lovely profile!

Thanks for dropping by, and happy Monday! 

yes. I am actually leaving.

Reason #149 that I fail at life: I am unable to wave at people without looking like I am a) having a seizure or b) actually not human, but some giant whale creature that just discovered arms. (Either one works. Whichever is more evocative in your mind.) Aka, today I frightened one of my former coworkers so much that she nearly fell off a bridge...

But. This post is (amazingly) not about my enduring social awkwardness. A little while ago, I posted about how I really needed to get myself in gear (because I'm a bike? Or a car? That expression doesn't even make sense) and actually choose a university. (Sign you are a procrastinator: you get accepted to the university of your choice at the beginning of December and don't accept until the end of April... true story.)

However, I am pleased to announce that today, I finally accepted University of Waterloo: Arts & Business. (Yes. Future entrepreneur here. HAHAHA) Keep your eyes peeled (now this expression crosses straight through "nonsensical" and goes to "disgusting and grape-like") for the girl with the kitty ears and the dazed expression.

(I don't even know what this building is. We just saw a sign and went for the photo op)

(obviously the fact that I saw this gum stain in the shaoe of a head played a part in my deciding to go there)

I toured it over the summer (and didn't even post about it! You poor souls missed out!) and, needless to say, I loved it. Despite the lack of David's Tea and Sephora in the environs (yes, this is what I first consider, the proximity of shopping) I think we'll deal quite nicely. I'm most looking forward to the long discussions about literature... if no one's willing to have them with me, I will forcibly kidnap them. (Just kidding! Mostly!)

Watch out Waterloo... here I come.

(ok so this is my friend and not me but you get the point, we're both creepers)

(aka, I will probably trip and fall into many people...  And frighten them with my waving... And antagonise others by constantly talking about Doctor Who... are you still sure you want me?)

on biology

Sometimes I stare into the mirror and try to count my freckles. I'm nearly certain that (at a rate of one per year or so) they are increasing... however I could be mistaken and it could just be pen stains. (Yes, I wash my face frequently... but I also have acquired the bad habit of chewing on my writing utensils. I noticed this only after I offered to lend someone a pencil and they refused with a horrified stare... causing me to realise that said pencil was currently in my mouth. Whoops.)

Having more freckles is actually comforting, not only because it means I am getting vitamin D (or so I tell myself- I'm no longer taking biology and so try not to trouble my pretty little head with such conundrums) but because it means that, in some intangible way, I am evolving. It's nice to know that my body manages to do things without my conscious self sometimes (although I must say, dreaming three times about The Office last night was not a conscious decision either. That seems to border on obsession... what other things am I thinking about without even noticing? SCARY) because it seems that, in general, I am inclined to think too much.

...speaking of: did you know that the tobacco plant has different reactions depending on what predator lands on it? Sometimes it's poisonous. Sometimes it's spiky. Basically, its leaves... have brains. Am I the only one scared by this? Everyone's worried about the zombie apocalypse- I think I'll fear take-over by plants.

But to return to talking about myself (because we all know that's my favourite subject... actually that's a lie. My favourite subject is literature. However, are my favourite books only a reflection of myself?... #TooComplicated #TimeForANap)... I still haven't decided on a university.

-hides behind the sofa-

Yes. Despite having recieved my offer in DECEMBER, I have yet to decide which program to choose. (At this point, I'm actually hoping for that tobacco plant apocalypse so that I don't have to make a decision. Or I might just draw it out of a hat- that would be far more productive!)

Yeah, so... that's that. Another example of indecisiveness: I've been thinking about making popcorn all week and I have yet to do so because plugging in my air-popcorn maker just seems like too much work...

DECISION TIME: I'm going to go make popcorn- all that's prevented me from doing so before now is the fact that it is downstairs and I am not, and no one has yet invented a teleportation machine. (I am 100% certain that, if such a thing did exist, it would be used primarily to get food.)

also: I am finally on Bloglovin! Go me! (And go follow me!)

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Happy Sunday, blog ninjas! (If you've gotten all the way to here, let me award you some honorary popcorn.)

sunny day confessions

It's actually gorgeous outside today, so this title isn't wishful thinking!

-It still feels bizarre to be blogging under my real name... but I like it.

-Even more bizarre? I am incapable of pronouncing my own name. I love hearing other people say it, but the way I say it just sounds stilted. (This makes introducing myself difficult...)

-Older ladies often tell me I'm gorgeous but I rarely hear this from people my own age. This confirms my suspicion that I was born in the wrong age.

-Even my mother has now accepted I will be a Crazy Cat Lady... just look at what she gave me for Valentine's Day!

(Hint: it wasn't the clothes... Also, apology for the slightly creepy smile, blame it on the awkward changeroom lighting!)

-The thought of prom is a bit dispiriting right now. Everyone's talking about their dresses, dates, etc, and all I can think is a) I have no idea where to look for my dress b) I'm probably going to be the only one without a date (in a graduating class of ten people, this is not an exaggeration) and c) what if, when I find my dress, it doesn't fit?


-This weekend is going to be a total Chocolate/Junk In General Overload... but whatever, it's so delicious and it's just one weekend, right? (Except it's three days instead of two... oh well, living in a chocolate buzz makes the extra calories worth it!) (Hm... maybe this is why I have no prom date? And why I worry about fitting into a dress? Shhhh)

-I'm scared of putting gas into the van by myself. I'm worried that, just as I put in the nozzle, someone will leap out and kidnap me.

-I'm addicted to this line of body products.

They all smell absolutely luscious- like candied fruit and dessert and everything nice- and I can't stop using them! (Thank you once again, Mum and Sephora.)

What do you have to confess?

happy blogiversary to me!

So... it's been a year. A year of...

-snow (because you haven't heard enough about this yet, right?)
-social awkwardness
-fashion and makeup (faux pas? hmmm)
-fangirling (mostly Doctor Who)

(why am I putting two of the same letter? I feel like I have to continue now, it's stressing me out)

-working myself into a coma (of boredom)
-food
-boys

(hahaha I broke the chain!)

-confusion
-(the joys of) science (also the hating of)
-friends

(if I forgot them they might beat me up! oh, and speaking of- have you been admiring my beauteous new header? All thanks go to Jess(i)e who is a wonderful person even when he can't decide how to spell his name...)

-tea
-rants (seriously I am proud of this post, if you click on no other links you should read this one!)

and really... thank you. I'm so thankful to all of you for reading, laughing (I hope) or maybe just shaking your head (that's a perfectly normal response too!) as you followed along with me on this crazy journey that is my life.

Finally, though, I have a confession to make.

My name isn't really Zia.

Are you surprised? Confused? Let me explain... I originally had a very different idea for this blog, one that revolved more around the idea of story-telling than of talking about my real life, and so it was easier to have a blog persona rather than use my real name. While I still enjoy the story-telling part of it, my style has evolved and I now find myself using far more of my actual life than invention... so using a false name no longer seems as appropriate. (Although I do love Zia. Sigh. This was a difficult decision.)

So what am I really called?

Tatiana. -takes a bow- (it means fairy princess, in case anyone's curious... so obviously it is appropriate)

Nice to meet you all... again! Let's hope this coming year is as lovely as the next, dearest ninjas.

further random thoughts (because my head is still scattered... as usual)

1) Apparently laughing gas doesn't make me giggle... it makes me sob. I literally cried for about three hours afterwards for no reason. Scary...

2) So then I spent wayyyy too much time on Tumblr in order to actually laugh. But it was worth it because I found some pretty amazing pictures... such as this.

3) I am blogging right now because I don't feel like working on homework. /student of the year

4) This picture is kind of my life... and the reason I -coughcough- may have eaten an entire carton of ice cream yesterday.

5) Lizzie Bennet + Doctor Who= the best show ever. (Seriously, this has potential.)

6) I say that Twitter is stupid, but the real reason I don't have an account is because I would spend my entire day posting useless updates like:

• OMG there was a spider. On the ceiling. And I don't know where it went. #saveme
• I DON'T WANT TO WORK #everysingleday
• So apparently our cat-proof doors are also me-proof... just got stuck in the basement.
• Vampire Diaries is the bestttt <3 #icanteven
• Further proof that I am destined to be a crazy cat lady: just got rid of all my stuffies but the cats.

(Is that even how hashtags work? I have no idea. Another reason I should never get Twitter.) 

Okay, so I have now procrastinated sufficiently (and given you a way to procrastinate too! I know, you're so thankful)... so I suppose I should go work on homework -sadface- goodbye lovely listeners!

facts about me (fascinating title? I think so)

Well, the lovely Kori over at The Musings of an Awkward Panda recently nominated me for an award... and yes. I am actually doing it. WHOOT! So, here go the FACTS. (100% true. Promise.)

1) I went through a soup-hating phase for about two years. (Like, no soup. At all. Ever.) This just ended about two weeks ago. (As you can imagine, my friends and family were greatly relieved.)

2) When I was in preschool (so, like two) the teacher told my parents that I was developmentally handicapped because I couldn't use scissors. (However, I still can't, so maybe she was right...)

3) Salad, chocolate and grilled cheese sandwiches are my comfort foods.

4) I LOVE SNOW. Like, so much. I nearly cried yesterday because it started snowing while I was at work and I couldn't get outside to see it... and then it was gone by the time I finished. Saddest moment of my life.

5) On a slightly related note, I cry all the time. You may have noticed I'm an extremely dramatic person... my highs are Everest-high and my lows are Marianas Trench. (Except not the band- them I adore.) So basically I'll be sad/angry/stressed about something, will have a huge sob-fest, and then will feel fine. (Until the next sobfest...)

6) I love stamps. There's just such a variety, and they're all so pretty! (This cropped up in a convo with Jesse... the things we talk about...) Stamp designer... Another job possibility? I think so -wink-

7) It drives me absolutely insane when people play with their hair. Like, I can't even look at them without wanting to scream. (I understand if you're fixing it or hand-combing, but not just random fingering. Ew. Stop.)

8) I'm pretty depressed right now because I think I have to start taking iron supplements again... seriously, they taste like eating a melted spoon. (I would guess.) GROSS.

Now, onto the questions! (Yes, I know there were supposed to be 11 facts. Shhh...)

-Guilty pleasure?
Chocolate? Junk food in general? haha, I'm so predictable. 

-3 bad habits?
1) picking at my nails
2) talking too much
3) eating when I'm not hungry

-Favourite TV show(s)?
Well, I think you've all heard about these multiple times (and will again, muahaha) but Vampire Diaries, Doctor Who, New Girl, The Mindy Project and Sherlock. 

-Favourite fast food joint?
Starbucks? Does that count? I'm not really a fast food girl... vegetarian, not so much. 

-Place you would most like to work?
HarperCollins publishing house, omg. I have no idea why, but it's been a dream of mine for several years.

-Apple or Blackberry and why?
Hmmm... both? I love my Blackberry phone, but I also love my iPod nano (the old, cool kind, without a touch screen.) 

-Whip out your iPod and stick it on shuffle. The first 5 songs that come up are what?
1) Your Star- Evanescence (what can I say, I went through an emo phase)
2) All The Rowboats- Regina Spektor (an album I downloaded and never really got into... I do that often)
3) Utopia- Within Temptation (VAMPIRE DIARIES SONG LOVE)
4) Return The Favour- All Time Low (I don't even remember this song)
5) Pretty Baby- Vanessa Carlton (I actually hate this song. Why is it on my iPod? DELETE)

-Do you swear? If so, how badly on a scale of 1 to 10?
Like, 1? I try not to... sometimes I swear in my head, and I've noticed myself doing that more often (blame being surrounded by teenage boys) but I do really try not to. 

-Favourite endearing animal?
Penguins, platypus, kittens, owls. (They're just TOO CUTE. Don't ask me to just pick one, come on!) 

-Favourite sport to watch?
None... -hides under the sofa from sports fans the world over-

-Views on pop culture music?
I like a lot of it -hides once again- but I don't like listening to the radio... like seriously, some nice shallow music is fine one or two times a week, not constantly. 

Some artists really annoy me though... like Lady Gaga, seriously, ughhh. 

...and there you are. This is me. Now, onto YOU! I'm not going to tag anyone specific, but if you'd like to, I'd love to hear some random facts about you. (And seriously, I think my questions are pretty cool, so ANSWER THEM.) Here are my questions:

-Ninjas or pirates and why?
-Who's your dream concert?
-What moment do you want to relive?
-What's your opinion on emoticons and text words? 
-What's your favourite word?
-What made you choose your current job?
-Pet peeve?
-Would you like to know what it would be like to be someone of the oposite sex for one week?
-What's your belief system?
-What's your first memory?
-Favourite thing to cook?
-First thing you notice about people you're attracted to?

You know you want to answer, dearest listeners. I dare you. 

sunday confessions

1) I think Ì'm addicted to blogging. Like seriously. Whenever I don't do it for a few days, I start feeling withdrawal. (I figure this is a healthy enough obsession, so I'm not too worried... but still. I will monitor the progress of the infection closely.)

2) Let's face it, this bathroom stall basically makes me want to go to this university.

3) "Zia is so cool!" said no one ever. Do you ever wish you could just change your personality? Even if it was just for a day? If I could, I'd be so much more confident, so much more calm, think so much less, just be so... different. I like me, but sometimes I just can't stand being in my head.

4) I've been tired for over three weeks now... I'm beginning to become accustomed to the dizzy spells and confusion. (...This is not healthy.)

5) Isn't this the coolest restaurant glass ever?

Plus, the walls were all steampunky. (Another reason I love cities, oh my, décor other than brick walls...)

6)Why are there so many universities I have to love? Right now there are three that I desperately want to attend... and I still have one more to visit. There should be a cloning machine... so that I can go to all of them... but somehow I don't think the world needs any more Zia.

7) I pretend to be so confident about it all, but really I'm so scared... I'm not worried about leaving home, but I'm worried about who I'll be when I get there. I'm so used to being 'the girl who writes' but once I'm in English, I won't be the only one anymore. I won't be the best like I'm so accustomed to. What if I'm just not good enough?

8) This is my current favourite song (so, for a day or two...)

CHILLS.

So yay for angsty, late-night word vomit, right? How are all of you doing?