a visit to the vampires

...or, In Which I Spurt Blood Everywhere And Almost Pass Out.

Or not.

Okay, the almost passing out part was true (but then I got to recline in a comfortable chair, be fanned, and drink apple juice... basically I was like Cleopatra, except I wasn't wearing cat-eye liner today) but the only blood-squirting was within the designated bag. (For which I'm sure everyone was thankful.)

In case you haven't guessed... today I went to donate blood, and for my troubles, I recieved... this lovely sticker!

(I tried wearing it on my face but was reprimanded by a nurse...)

It actually wasn't bad. (I do think they should play up the vampire aspect a little more... it might attract hordes of Twilight and/or Vampire Diaries fans!) It was also, for those of you who worry, not very painful. The only parts that hurt a bit were...

1- the iron check. (Which, amazingly, I passed! Obviously Popeye was right and eating tons of spinach makes you strong) This actually hurts, especially because the nurse then kneads your finger until it turns the colours of a sunset.

2- the actual needle-being-stuck-into-your-arm part. This actually didn't hurt any more than accidentally sticking yourself with a brooch (Am I the only one who does this on a regular basis?) and was less painful than a mosquito bite.

3- taking off the surgical tape that you're bandaged with. This was PAIN. Like, tweezing your eyebrows and waxing at the same time pain. Thankfully it was just a small bandage...

(adding to the glamour: it totally matched my nailpolish!) 

Do any of you donate blood? Any interesting experiences?

On another note, if you haven't already, please take a little bit of time to tweet and comment on my S-Trip profile, which is here. Part of the judging criteria for the scholarship is how many supports, shares, comments and tweets the candidate can get... so if you could just take a little time to do one of these for me, I'd really appreciate it!

how to incorporate exercise into your day

As I've mentioned many times, exercising and being (sort of) fit is important to me. Sometimes, though, I know it can be hard to incorporate enough movement into your day... so here's how I do it!

In the morning...
-Toss and turn. All that wiggling has got to burn some calories! (Also, wear extremely thick flannel pjs, preferably ones with floral patterns from the 60s... and wrap yourself in quilts... it's like your own personal sauna!)

-Put on knee socks. First step: turn them right side out, because they will inevitably be rolled in a ball. (Actually, that's the third step. First step is putting them on and realising that you have to take them off. Second step is falling off your bed while trying to take them off because they're so tight that yanking them off is a full-body exercise.)

-Alternatively, wear tights. They will be so itchy and irritating that you'll dance all day long! (Or eventually become so frustrated that you are willing to peel them off in front of all your fellow coworkers/students... of course I'd never do that -shifty eyes-)

During the day...

-Perform advanced fidgeting. Tap your feet. Or your fingers. Or bob your head from side to side. You may look like a deranged bobcat, but at least you're staying fit! (Another advantage: no one will want to sit beside you, so you'll have more room to spread out!)

-Drink lots of tea or coffee. What does this have to do with working out, you ask? Well, you'll have to a) stand up to prepare it and b) get up about 50 times during the day to go pee. (Plus, green tea and coffee both boost your metabolism... although I doubt a sugary macchiato really helps in that respect.)

-Play with your hair. Put it in a ponytail. Then decide that you don't like how it looks and put it into a messy bun. When the messy bun falls out, brush it with your fingers. With all this up and down, your shoulders will be toned in no time!)

...Or you could just go to the gym. That works too.

the statistics of prom dresses

Last week, I realised a terrifying fact.

I was the only girl in my class who didn't yet have a prom dress.

When you're one of six girls, that isn't a huge deal... but still. I was abnormal! That never happens! (Cue skeptical laughter...)

I could go on about how silly it is that girls are expected to buy their dresses several months before prom actually happens (it won't be for another two and a half months...) but that's a post all on its own. Therefore, I now present to you... the results of my dress shopping expedition. (Who doesn't love statistics?)

Number of...

...days spent thinking about shopping for it: 124

...days spent actually shopping:  slightly less than one (approx. 6 hours)

...days spent thinking about wearing it: 761 (at least) (this is since before I started highschool)

...days spent wearing it: less than one (sob. cry. I am consoled by the fact that at least it's not too prom-y and I can possibly wear it again someday)

...dresses looked at: 367 (really. at least.)

...of dresses tried on: eighteen

...dresses that didn't fit because of my massive ribcage: four (yes. some people obsess over their thighs or their stomach or their arms. I obsess over my ribcage)

...dresses rejected because of length: twenty-six (because I am too short to wear something floor-length, or even longer than my knees.)

...stores entered: nine

...stores where I tried something on: four

...scary salesgirls faced: eight (like really, don't talk to me. I am perfectly fine on my own.)

...hours in the car: five (so just slightly less than the actual shopping...)

...unknown women who tried to remove my bra: three (thankfully all store employees)

...unknown women who petted me:  one (NOT a store employee) (most awkward moment of the trip)

...so, from this, the conclusion I'm getting to... is that I obsess over things wayyy too much.

However... I have indeed found a dress, so maybe this all paid off?

Sound logical?

What was your prom dress shopping like? What was your dress like? (Or what do you want it to be like, if you haven't yet had a prom?)

my reincarnation as a unicorn princess

This can also be read as 'I dyed pink streaks in my hair' but really, where's the fun in that? 

I like it because it's both natural (well, as natural as pink can be... if I continue thinking in the unicorn-princess vein, it does indeed seem average!) and noticeable.

It's definitely not as adventurous as my last venture into hair colour... but I'm happy with it! I have yet to notice any magical powers revealed- since, the first thing I would do if I discovered some would be to summon spring.  Much as I love snow,  can't wait to be able to wear all my pretty dresses! (THEY'RE TAUNTING ME. Whoever said that clothes cannot speak has obviously never seen my malicious closet. If it's not saying 'haha, it's still under zero, you can't wear me! I'll just chill here and be happy without you' it's reprimanding me for not folding it. I can't win.) 

Now, all I need is a pair of wings...

coolio schoolio

So... some days, I actually like school.

THE HORROR.

How could anyone admit to such a thing? In what universe could learning be considered cool? 

But really, some days... are almost... fun? 

-Playing with clear plastic squishy spheres (apparently they're what goes in diapers? except minus the less thrilling paper coating... or whatever else it is that goes in diapers, I really have no idea)

-Drinking tea that tastes like wine (really sweet, fruity wine. Not that I drink wine, but it tastes like wine smells... except less like vinegar. Was that clear enough for you?)

-Handing in a math worksheet and realising that no, I did not get all the answers wrong (sadly the test is a different story)

-Eating salad (okay so that's a joy that could happen anywhere, anytime)

-Mixing random components together to make plastic (who knew it was that simple? Apparently it can also be done with milk... ewwww)

And best of all, wearing cool Leviathan goggles.

(Before you ask, no. They are not mine, and I have no idea why he had them in his bag... and people say I'm overprepared?) Steampunk is in, ninjas... and school is cool because it taught me what steampunk was. You can't say it's not useful now! (As are cat ears. You don't get much more stylish than this... ignoring the polo shirt and hoodie three waist sizes too big of course. And when I say "waist size" I mean "it makes me look like I'm pregnant with a watermelon".) 

However, the best part of school is... not attending it. 

That's right. By the time you read this, I'll be in France! Discovering new and unknown lands! (Here there be dragons. Or possibly just lots of coffee... in my dreams!) Wish me luck... and lots of sleep. 

sugar and spice and everything nice

It is my cherished belief that you are never the wrong age to:
a) wear pretty dresses
b) drink tea
c) have a birthday party.

That's why, this past weekend, I combined all three! (My guests were ordered to come wearing dresses en lieu of the usual gift-bearing... okay no I just like ordering them around, no trade-off involved cause you know, presents!)

just to show how cold our house is... my poor guests needed to wrap up well

omg tea. there are no words.

also, food. isn't everything so tiny and pretty?

we headed upstairs for a photo shoot, and Tilney finally got some love

see? I'm not the only one who loves hats!

Cécile and I are spies, while Kori is our obliviously happy spy-ee? 

Bronwynne is also part of our amazing spy cult, watch out

...while Anna just likes frogs (there were probably 20 photos similar to this one)

after so much exertion, more food was necessary before Tamara ate our heads off (or Cécile's spun all the way off...)

there were fights over who got to eat... the pickles? 

OMG LISTS... let's just say my friends know me well. 

 this bag was also a contested favourite... I wouldn't be surprised if my basement was raided later

snow angels are equally ageless!

...although I personally don't see the appeal of sitting on the road

The next section of the evening was free of photographic evidence... but let's just say it involved more food, and more screaming. (AKA: we watched a horror movie. That is, some people watched a horror movie. I fell asleep, so obviously it could not have been that traumatizing...) 

note that I am alone here because no one else wanted to show off their gorgeous mask

seriously I don't understand why

...and that was that! (Apologies for the lack of text in this post- I'm currently in the midst of packing for France (confession: you can barely see my floor under the mountains of clothes) and my creative inspiration is therefore running a bit dry... being entirely devoted to figuring out gorgeous outfits!)

Thank you to all who attended... and to the chefs (/cult/parents) who made such a lovely spread possible! (and ensured that no one's head was eaten... I truly was worried at some points!) Do you still have birthday parties? What about tea parties? 

concert? not so much

Last night marked possibly the one time I was disappointed by snow.

I know. You never thought I'd say that, did you?

But unfortunately, it is possible. Last night marked the night that Erika were supposed to attend the Emilie Autumn concert I mentioned here... but there was so much snow that we were trapped on the road and had to stop in one of the many hole-towns that surround ours.

So, instead of dancing and singing and attending a glorious concert... we took photos in parking lots.

You have to find the upside where you can, right? At least I got some gorgeous colouring done!

The waitress did look a bit surprised when I asked for crayons, but I was wearing cat ears... so she probably expected something of the kind. The two go well together.

Was this karma? Payback for all the times I've wished for snow, and no one else has? Perhaps. However, my other conclusion is that... it was the lipstick.

Yes. Remember this post? The last time I got snowed in somewhere? (Yes. Apparently this is becoming a semi-frequent event now.) I was wearing this same lipstick.

I'm a little bit frightened to wear it again now... what else might it jinx?

In other (less depressing) news: I have now rejoined the technological world! (All the better to share my continuing failiures, right?)

So far it's taught me that today is "International Cat Day"... so at least these photos are appropriate, right? (Maybe that's why my lovely kitties woke me up at four this morning?) Let me know what your username is- I'd love to follow you back!

Seriously, though. Really, weather?

confessions from the heart

1. Wearing these shoes makes me feel kinda gangsta.

(and yes, I realise that as a white girl who screams at spiders, that is not an appropriate thing to say)

2. For the upcoming Emilie Autumn concert, Erika and I are planning to look like, in her words, "crack-whore faeries"... so be prepared for some pretty crazy photos!

3. I REALLY want this foundation.

source

However, every single time I try to buy it either online or in-store, it's out of stock. I think the universe is trying to tell me something...

4. I also REALLY want this palette.

 source

My birthday is coming up, world... feel free to send it my way! More seriously, though, I think I'll simply not buy any neutrals for a while, then when I run out, buy it.

4. I wish people would mail me letters (or presents... I'm not picky!). I think it's an art that's been lost within my generation, and that saddens me. Is there an official letter day during which we can all share addresses and mail each other things?

5. I don't understand why chip bags contain so few chips.

Like, seriously? (For the record, these aren't even my chips. These are Kori's, so it's ALL HER FAULT.)

6. My right eye is slightly less open than my left eye, all the time... and I hate it. I can't make my eyes match, and I'm really insecure about it.

7. Despite the fact that Friday's snow day caused many accidents and that no one appreciated it except for our town's minority of highschool students... I'm hoping for another one tomorrow. (Yes. When it comes to days off school, I am very selfish.)

8. I can't do a messy bun, and for this reason (amongst many others) I feel that I fail at being a girl.

9.  I'm currently addicted to this song.

(Amongst many others. My friends are kind enough to lend me CDs, and I thus discover much lovely music!)

10. David's Tea no longer sells my favourite tea (Ice Cream Cake)... I discovered that this morning and am still upset.

And that's it for this week, dearling ninjas! (and yes, that is spelt intentionally incorrectly. Because I can never remember any of the lovely and educated words I know, I am forced to invent my own) What do you have to confess?

forever nutty

As promised, here's my latest tea review! (Plus the beauteous sweater. LOVE.)

Hope you enjoyed it! Are you tempted to go drink tea now? (You'd better be.)

what I stick in (and sometimes on) my eyes

Reasons I like blue mascara:

1) It's blue. (Really, the list could just end here and it'd be complete.)

2) Small children compliment me on it. (At least I know, if I ever do decide to have a child, that we'll have something in common.) 

3) Ot has been worn during the majority of my (sort of) successful flirting experiences. (Obviously, it has magical powers.) (Although it doesn't always work...)

My current weapon of choice is the Diorshow Waterproof mascara!

As you can see, the brush is slightly huge... but I love it. It's just so blue and lengthening! 

(Admire the hat, and the pyjamas. Even when getting ready for bed, I'm stylish.) 

You ninjas who have been with me for a while might be wondering, what happened to the one mentioned in this post? I regret to tell you (try not to cry too much, now) that it is deceased. It developed a rare disease known as "The Clumps" and degenerated quickly. However, I gave it a lovely funeral! (...or maybe just threw it out.) 

My inspiration for today's look:

Audrey Hepburn and I- twins. 

(Haha. In my dreams.) In other news, school started back today- you can see the ever-glamourous polo in this shot. (Yet another reason I am not anything like Audrey Hepburn. I'm certain that, if she was ever forced to wear a uniform, it had decent blouses at the very least.) Has anyone ever heard the saying: "the best days of your life" as regards their teenage years? My only thought on the subject is, if these are the best days, I'm not sure I want to experience the rest! 

(That came out sounding far darker than I'd intended. Please, have no fear for my mental health- unless you think a belief in unicorns is unhealthy- just consider this the desperation of a girl whose morning began with "my cat stole my USB" and went downhill from there.)

Hopefully your Monday wasn't too awful! (I'd wish that it was wonderful, but it was a Monday; I don't think there is such a thing as a wonderful Monday, and if there is, it has the same rarity as a great sale at Sephora or a non-cheesy One Direction song.)

in which we are models

Never underestimate the joys of a good photo shoot. Note that I said 'good'. In the same way, you must never underestimate the pain caused by a bad one. What could be worse than reviewing the hundreds of photos you so carefully posed for, and realising that you look like a stuffed alligator in every single one?

First: the cast of characters. Cécile, who let us invade her home and demonstrated the joys of record players. Kori, who brought hilarious movies and impressed us with her scrambled-egg stirring. And I, the short one. (Seriously. They're both like 4 inches taller than me.) 

Theories about this pose:
1) Kori has a dark soul
2) Kori is secretly a bird of prey
3) Kori wants to show off her hair
Any other ideas?

I was nearly strangled trying to get out of this dress. Moral of the story: when it takes you fifteen minutes to put on a dress, it is too tight and you might die. (This is why I'm glad not to live in the age of corsets.)

A future as can-can dancers? I think so!

After our photo shoot, we retreated to the kitchen to bake! (We had to do it after so we'd still manage to fit in the dresses!) One of the many reasons Cécile is amazing: she has snail cookie cutters. (As well as foxes and porcupines and hedgehogs, oh my!)

And cool aprons. (How could I not be friends with this girl?)

However, neither of them were brave enough to make snow angels with me. (However, this may be understandable, given that we had just left the hot tub and were wearing only bathing suits... there is a line between adventurous and foolhardy which I may have crossed, especially since my entire body was burning as though I'd been dunked in acid afterwards.) 

I did not include the photos in which I/Kori/Cécile appeared cross-eyed, out of (sheer vanity) respect for our future children; I doubt they want to see their mother plastered over the Internet and decried as a lunatic... oh wait, too late, I have a blog don't I? Ah well. At least I tried. (These are namely the ones of us wearing a pastel blue, shiny jumpsuit straight from the seventies. Much as I love Doctor Who, there are some times that don't need to be revisited.)

On a completely unrelated note, I just finished reading Let's Pretend This Never Happened by The Bloggess... GO READ IT RIGHT NOW. If you've read her blog, then it's the perfect continuation. If you haven't, shame on you and go read that too. (This loser didn't... but she was kind enough to lend me the book, so I decided that I would indeed help her in the off chance that her dog needed to be disinterred. If you don't understand the reference... just read it.)

Happy Saturday dearest ninjas!

gifts galore

Why staying at home sick is bad? I am absorbed into a vortex of expensive loveliness...AKA Sephora online.

And other random sites, just cause I am a varied person.

Ohmigodcan'teven...

Before I degenerate further into incoherence, I thought I'd share some of my favourite items with you! (Yes, friends and family and random listeners who want to give me presents, I will gladly accept any of these... as in, will do a dance of joy and love you forever.)

OMG sparkles. That is all.

This is the colour set I've been wanting for a while; it seems both summer- and winter-appropriate.

Let's face it: what girl interested in makeup DOESN'T want this palette? So lovely. 

Revlon Ionic Ceramic Pro Stylist: This is actually relevant. (I put the name because frankly, they all look the same...) I need one for university that doesn't take an hour to dry my hair/leave it deadened and dried like spaghetti. (Okay, maybe not quite that dramatic, but still...) (Is it sad that I looked this up on Consumer Reports? Maybe a bit...)(In ANOTHER note, why are they all so expensive?)

OMG. This tea has jellybeans. Can you get any cooler?

The library might have this book... but I have a feeling it's one I could reread, and carry around with me, and just.. LOVE OMG THIS IS SUCH A GOOD BOOK.

Checkmate! (Who needs to play chess when you can have tea?) This just looks scrumptious. Coconut, and the pretty little flowers... mmmm.

...And there's so much more, but let's start with this. (On the plus side, finding all this for myself led me to discover the perfect gifts for a few friends, so I can tell myself I've been productive!)  What's on your wishlist?

epiphany of the year

This week, I came to an important realisation. I used to be that girl who dressed nicely on every occasion. I was never seen outside the house in sweatpants or without makeup. I did my hair (okay. I tried. I should get an A for effort).

However, I just realised... after this year, I'm never going to see these people again. There is absolutely no one I need to impress here (except for myself, and let's face it, I already know I'm amazing). Therefore, I no longer need to expend any effort on looking good.

Bring on the sweatpants, baby!

(Or, in this case, the shapeless cargo pants that are as wrinkly as elephant skin and the tent-like polo shirt... although actually, that's what I've had to wear all along. It's just that it no longer has the power to bother me.)  The one thing is, seeing as the girl's uniform is the same as the boy's, I'm worried that without makeup I might be mistaken for one... Time to break out the huge and sparkly earrings!

On a slightly related note, I am pleased to announce that I can now eat watermelon-flavoured gum once again! For a while, I was using watermelon-scented deodorant, and whenever I had any it gave me the impression that I was licking my armpit... not so pleasant.

Oh, and don't worry- I am still wearing deodorant. I'm not quite that far gone. (Yet.)

And, on an actually related note (...okay, sort of, connected-ness is not my strong suit) remember me mentioning the construction on the school? Well, that's been going on for a while now, and I am in fear for my life. (So really, I should be trying to look good while I can... nahhh...) My hair is permanently filled with fallen ceiling dust (thus adding to that sexy hobo style) and everything hung on the walls trembles and rattles, making writing on the whiteboard a challenge. (On the plus side, if you get the wrong answer, you can simply say that your writing is messy because of the shaking and that you were actually right. I'll let you know if this works.) Plus (and this is the worst) they constantly blare bad pop music. (There is only so much BABY YOU'RE A FIREWORK this girl can take. My quota was basically reached the first time I heard it.)

In conclusion: I have to save up all my cute-dressing-skills for university, when I actually will meet new people... til then, I'm going to revel in my laziness.

-insert creative title here-

I went to a yoga class last night...

MY ENTIRE BODY HURTS.

I did not realise just how stiff I was.

However, at least I was not the person in the corner who fell asleep and kept snoring really loudly.

(It was pretty funny. I kept trying not to giggle and slightly failing, so it was like I was breathing really heavily and seemed even more out of shape than I actually am.)

That was comforting.

(I'm writing with lots of line breaks to make it look like my post is longer- is it working?)

Actually, it's kinda bugging me so I'm going to stop now. (Bugging. Isn't that an odd word? I'm picturing myself slowly mutating into a large insect... hopefully I'd be a pretty one, like an extremely large butterfly with crimson wings and iridescent eyes.) Seriously though, I have gained serious respect for all of you people out there who do yoga often... I do exercise nearly every day (although as I've mentioned before, it's largely counteracted by everything I eat, such as my -cough-row-cough- of Girl Guide cookies) but I am obviously not very flexible. (So I can't bend my knee to my chest. SORRY.)

Plus, I think that my outfit contributed to this failure. I didn't realise until after I'd left the house that my pants had a ginormous chocolate milk splatter (like, basically from my hip to my knee) so I had to walk around all day looking like a hobo. (SEXY.) Plus, I had attempted to braid my hair but little pieces kept falling out so it was like I had stuck my finger in a socket. (Even sexier. Mhmm.)

Also... maybe the reason I like dinosaurs so much (my shirt today featured one. It might have been the most adorable thing ever) is because we share a similar skill at flirting.

This is my life, dearest listeners.