advice for my younger self

I looked at the calendar today, and realised: my last class of highschool is next week.

MIND. BLOWN.

Not to be cliché, but... time really did pass quickly. (Except for during many of my classes. I'm pretty sure I could have skipped them without too many regrets... If only I went to a school with more students, wherein my absence would not be noticed. Or at least one at which my mother didn't teach.)

However, looking back, I noticed quite a few things I'd change. Unfortunately, as I do not have a Tardis, they'll remain regrets... but I thought I'd compile a list of advice I'd give my eighth-grade self, before coming to high school. Just in case.

1. Breathe. Ask yourself, "Is this really such a big deal? Will I remember this in a couple of years?" The answer is usually Yes... Yes, you'll remember it because you stressed way too much about it. Just chill out. (Picture your older self wearing hippie glasses and waving a palm leaf... for some reason that's the image that comes to mind when I say chill out. Who knows why.)

2. You don't have to get along with everyone. You know those people you think are mildly annoying but you think you should talk to because they're in your class? Don't bother. You can make better friends elsewhere.

3. But on that note, do actually try to make friends. Books are lovely, but socialising is important too! Just pick people you actually have interests in common with.

4. You have the power to change things. Mostly, this means: pluck your eyebrows. It is a Big Issue in your life, and it's not a big deal to change them, so DO IT.

Or in a more deep way: the world is yours, so go get it.

5. ...but if you can't change it, walk away. You know all those situations you felt really uncomfortable in? You're allowed to leave. Don't think you have to stay somewhere just because everyone else is.

6. Trust yourself. If you think you're going to hate something, assume that you're right and don't do it. (I'm thinking of all the 'school-bonding' activities that I attended. I can't think of one I enjoyed, and yet I went to quite a few... seriously, just don't do it.)

7. You are likeable. Don't assume that you're entirely forgettable. You're worth more than that. (You probably don't believe me, and I don't really believe myself in typing it, but I'm hoping that it'll come true by repetition.)

8. Don't allow your mother to buy you uniform shirts. She will buy you the wrong size, and the result will be that you're miserable for over a year. (They don't shrink that much, and I didn't grow that much. I am not an elephant.)

9. Keep in contact. You know those people you met, and liked, and... never talked to again? Yeah. Send them a message! A letter! A text! It's not that hard, and it might be awkward at first, but really, what do you have to lose? (Confession: I am so bad at this. Still. Which is why I'm putting it down in writing.)

10. Exercise is your friend. You know how you always think you're too klutzy to go running/dancing/move in general? Well, the more you work on it, the better you'll get. (You'll probably still fall down quite a lot, but you'll do it gracefully.)

11. Don't study so much. My studying schedule went like this.
Grade 9: "OMG if I don't study this for hours I will fail and my life will be forever ruined omg must spend hours doing this"
Grade 10: "Hmm I should probably write an intense study guide. I can use it to review next year!"
Grade 11: "Okay, I'll review and rewrite some notes..."
Grade 12: "I don't understand this and I really don't care. I'll still pass and get good grades."

...and every year I did almost equally well. (This goes well with no. 1- just chill out. The only important grades are some grade 11 ones and some grade 12 ones anyway... so really my schedule should have been reversed. Whoops.)

12. Do your own thing. So what if other people think it's lame? You'll have way more fun.

I wish I really did have a time machine so I could send this back to who I used to be- I think it would come in handy. Plus, some of these (especially nos. 1 and 9) are still things I need to remember. What's some advice you'd give your younger self? Do you have any university advice for me?

book lover problems

It's a fairly innocuous question, right? "What are you reading?" It shouldn't be that hard to answer... but it is.

I'm serious. This is actually a problem in my life right now. (Okay, so I could just stop reading in public... but then I'd have to Talk To People, which is an even bigger problem.) I'm never quite sure how to answer it. For example, the other day I was reading Save Me The Waltz. When I...

a) answer in a generic manner, such as "Oh, it's a romance", people inevitably ask for more details. I'm never sure why this is, because no one ever reads the books I do unless I have previously forced them to... so they never know what I'm talking about... which leads me to

b) give a detailed synopsis, such as  "Oh, it's a romance set during the 1920s and it describes all the facets of their lives and how he drank too much and how she wanted to be a ballerina", people's eyes inevitably start to glaze over after a couple of seconds and they sidle away with pretexts such as washing their llama. (Which leads me to wonder why they even asked...)

c) compare it to another book, such as "It's similar to The Great Gatsby!", people either don't know that book, so then I have to explain it too (it's a vicious cycle!) or, if they do know it, ask "How?" and I, being already frazzled by the resulting stress of choosing one of these answers, can't quite remember why I chose to compare it.

Sometimes by the time I've decided which tactic to choose, the conversation has already moved on and all my hard work was wasted. (However, at least this means I have less of a chance of making a fool of myself... so, again, pros and cons.) It's even worse when someone I don't know well asks me this, because then I also have to wonder: "Are we going to be friends? If so, I should probably moderate what I say now..." (And not confess my shameful obsession with Georgette Heyer's Regency romances...)

How do you answer this? (Or do you just not read?)

On a slightly similar note (the Tatiana-Wants-To-Avoid-People note) this is my current manifesto song.

This will sound like a typical Teenager Statement, but I really like most of Mother Mother's songs- the lyrics really Speak To My Soul. (I'm both parodying myself and being entirely serious.) Have you found any bands like that lately?

However, I love you all, especially those of you who have helped me with my S-Trip Scholarship. Thank you so much! For those of you who still want to help by supporting, commenting or tweeting, you still have a few days left.

Happy Thursday, blog ninjas!

what I'd like to be known for

Do you ever see connections within the TV shows you're watching? Or the conversations you're having? Or the books you're reading? I don't mean just mentioning the same thing to several people, or watching only crime shows. The connections I'm thinking of are subtler, harder to trace. A character in one novel might prefer an orange dress; a friend will happen to mention that she's been buying a lot of orange clothes. At first it seems coincidental, but as the events keep piling up, they seem to be pointing you further and further in the same direction.

This is the way I've been feeling lately. This quote, and others like it, have been appearing in snippets everywhere:

“One day, you’re seventeen and you’re planning for someday. 

And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today. 

And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.”

― John Green

This terrifies me.

I feel like it's a warning: stop thinking you can plan anything. Stop thinking you have time to waste. (Which is a good thing... but I panic, and then can do nothing.) Do you ever have times when you feel paralysed, caught in time, waiting for something to happen? I feel as though my life has been put on pause, and I'm not quite sure why.

For this reason, this list, from Moorea Seal's list project, was surprisingly difficult for me to write, because I don't know what I want.

(is this clear enough? if not, please tell me so I can change it for next time)

On the whole, this seems fairly comprehensive... it also makes me wonder, am I already some of these things? If people who know me read this, would they laugh at just how off the mark I am? (I hope not.)

One notable exception (in my mind, at least) to this list was smart. I have been known for being smart my entire life, and I'm so tired of it. Being known as 'the smart girl' is exhausting and, in a way, dehumanising. You're not supposed to have weaknesses. You're supposed to be the one who has the answers, who doesn't care what other people think of you because you're just the brain... but that is not all I am.

What about you? What do you want to be known for?

the problems I (of my) face

Some days, you just realise that a thousand tiny annoyances are following you around like biting flies. (Which are a trial all on their own. Why do they exist? Shouldn't our blood have evolved to be poisonous yet?) Here are some of the things that have been bothering me lately. 

-My pores. There are so many words to describe them right now, and none of them are pretty. (Some of them even begin with p for added alliterative appeal!) Let's say... pestilential, puffy, pustulous... I think you get the idea. To conceal them, I applied a mud face mask... 

...and wore it all day to school.

Okay, not really.

But I wanted to. It would have been prettier than the reality.

-The weather. For a week, it was glorious and hot and summer and I just lolled about eating smoothies. Now it is raining and feels like summer's already over. Can't we at least have a thunderstorm? 

-My shirt. I love this shirt so much.

(source)

Mine is even more beautiful because it's a gorgeous, deep ocean blue! I just want to wear it everywhere and with every possible combination of the rest of my wardrobe. Last night I had a mini fashion show- very mini, because I was both sole model and sole audience member- and tried it on with almost all my bottoms (okay that sounds like I have different butt sizes to try it with but you get the idea right?) and it totally worked. Literature is a magical force...but I can't wear it all the time. So sad. (Although, if I did, the smell might begin to repel people after a while... hmmm... ways to be antisocial are always appreciated...)

-The ending of I Capture the Castle. This is one of my favourite books... but the ending has always saddened me. (No spoilers, I promise!) Usually, I'm fairly good at inventing alternate stories for characters I think have been cheated (I spend far too much time lost within the pages of books not to!) but I've read this one far too many times to change its story.

(source)

Just read it. Or watch it. Then we can have a deep discussion about it and I can cry. (Too many feels okay.)

-I'm choking. There has been an Advil capsule stuck in my throat since LAST NIGHT. How has it not dissolved yet? Can someone please explain this? All day, every time I swallowed something, I could feel it blocking my nutritional passageways. (Yes. That is a scientific term. Just accept it, as we say in Chemistry whenever we don't understand something.)

...and, just to cap it all off:  

(source)

(Garfield, you and I are soulmates.) What have some of your problems been lately? 

sunny days playlist

Exactly what the title says- a playlist of songs to listen to during a sunny day, to keep you in a happy mood! It's sad just how long it took me to make this... most of the songs I listen to are of the "dying-of-a-broken-heart" variety (no, I am not a country girl. None of them involve trucks) so compiling this one took quite a few scrolls through my iPod. (Yes. I still have an iPod with a click wheel, and I hope it never breaks. Am I the only one?) However, I didn't mind because doing this made me feel like Charlie, putting together a mixtape. (Yes. I do think too much about characters who don't actually exist.)

So, without further ado... here are some happy songs! (Links to Youtube provided, so you have no excuse not to listen!)

1- 22, by Taylor Swift. (Even if you're not a fan of hers, you've got to admit that this is a great song for dancing around and generally acting like an idiot.)

2- Crazy in Love, by Emeli Sandé. (I just had to include something from the Great Gatsby!... and yes, it did fulfill all my wildest hopes and dreams, thanks for asking)

3- How to be a Heartbreaker, by Marina & the Diamonds. (I'm not certain if this is altogether good advice... but it's fun, and that's all that matters!)

4- Spaghetti, by Darelle London. (Too. Cute. Eating spaghetti, watching Breakfast at Tiffany's, and hang-gliding- which I don't know how to spell- must mean true love.)

5- Home, by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros. 
(This song is just so bouncy! It just makes me want 
to skip down the street... I wouldn't advise that.)

6- Stupid, by Brendan Maclean. (Let's face it, we all know people like this...)

7- I've Just Seen a Face, by Jim Sturgess- Beatles cover. (That accent. Swoon.) 

8- B.C. Orienteering, by Said the Whale. (Who doesn't love a song about hiking?)

9- First Dance, by Never Shout Never. (Another one that'll make you feel like dancing. 
Can't you just picture spinning round and round with a floaty skirt?...
or an otherwise nice outfit if you're a guy or don't like skirts, 
I don't want to discriminate) 

10- Skinny Genes, by Eliza Doolittle. (This is the one song that makes me wish I could 
whistle so I could sing it properly...)

11- Summer Nights, by Florrie. (Ending with a super-energizing song- go out for a run! 
Or tan, because it seems appropriately summery.) 

Have you heard any of these songs? Did you like them? 

home & energy (in lists!)

...and if that title didn't entice you, I'm not sure what could. Doesn't it sound like a boring radio ad for an energy-efficient fridge? ( (I know, I'm such a saleswoman. However, at least I'm better than one of my friends, who once tried to convince me NOT to buy something from her for a fundraiser. It's a wonder she managed to raise any money... although given my own experiences, I should be more sympathetic.)

Or perhaps it's imploring you to turn off the lights in your house, so I don't have to pop up and do it myself. (Us ninjas prefer the darkness. We're also very environmentally conscious.)

However (my graceful segue word in every occasion, from essays to awkward conversations) that is not actually what this post is about. I have no interest in fridges (other than the fact that they hold food! And food is good! Yay for food!)- today, I'm actually sharing two more of my lists from Moorea Seal's list project.

Week 12: things that feel like home. 

...so it's pretty easy to see that, for the most part, feeling at home means being alone. In the quiet. In the dark. (Again, this can all be explained by my inherent ninja-ness.)

Week 18: ways I'm energized. 

Of course coffee is the first on the list! (Priorities.) Funny how several of these ended up being similar to the previous list, despite having been done weeks apart.

What makes you feel at home? What energises you?

Also: The Great Gatsby comes out on Friday. Excuse me while I pass out from excitement. (NoI'mnotobsessed,whywouldyousaythat?)

things at which I could win a prize

The other night, I went to go see my friends perform at a major (for this town) music festival. (Shoutout to Declan, Anna and Cécile- you were amazing!) As is often the case, watching all of these wonderful performers made me feel... a little inadequate. (You know how I used to talk about playing guitar? Haven't done that since last summer. Sigh.) So, I thought I'd list some other talents of mine that I could totally win awards for!

-Pie appreciation. Honestly, I know no one who loves pie as much as I do. (The same goes for popcorn. Although, in both cases, I admit to snobbery- only pie with real fruit, and only air-popped popcorn.) Why is it that pie-eating competitions exist, but none for sheer love of it? What a sad world we live in.

-Reading. I am, hands-down, the fastest reader I know. (Upon initial glance, this doesn't seem like that useful a skill... but it means that homework assignments take me approximately half the time they take anyone else.) If there was a speed-reading and comprehension contest, I would definitely win.

-Protein baking. If I am baking something, it's almost a guarantee that I will find a way to insert more protein into it- necessary vegetarian skillz. (However, if you're going to attempt this skill, a word of caution: don't tell people that you've tried to make the dessert healthy until they've actually finished eating it. For some reason, my efforts do not recieve proper recognition.)

-Writing. Does this seem a little egotistical? Maybe. However, it's true- I'm a very good writer. (You don't see my true skills because my blog posts tend to be a little more rushed than my more serious writing, aka stories and essays. But, no bragging intended, those are quite good.)

-Being awkward. Really. No one ever sees this as a good thing, but look on the bright side- if I'm around, everyone will think of you as being far more attractive and put-together in comparison! (However, this one might be decreasing. At this same event, I had TWO conversations with an attractive boy and managed to sound entirely normal for both of them! -major pride-)

-Making lists. I am the List Queen. I make to-do lists every single day, not because I think I'll forget (sample list: shower. Make breakfast. Exercise) but because it helps me feel organised and in control. (WHEN EVERYTHING IS GOING WRONG AROUND ME! -drama-)

What are some skills you'd like to recieve more recognition for?

what a wonderful world

Sometimes, it's important just to remember the little things that make you happy. (Wow. I am the last person who I ever thought would say that. Let's face it, most of the time I walk around thinking "I HATE YOU ALL STAY AWAYYY FROM ME MORTALS") It's just... nice. Relaxing. And while I certainly wouldn't advise doing this all the time (might be difficult to keep serious in a business meeting if you're thinking about rainbow cupcakes) it's definitely the perfect thing to do when you have nothing else to do! (Aka French class. Or, as I like to call it, that space of time wherein we have no work ever.) Here are some little things that make me smile.

(source)

...This song. 

Chills.

(not my photo, if anyone knows the link thank you!) 

Is this not adorable? I'm pretty sure whenever I drink coffee I look like a cross between the extra-shot illustration and the Energizer bunny! (except with better hair...)

(source)

Right now that's Dracula... so it's neither new to me nor to the world, but I still enjoy it! 

(credit Kaja Słojewska)

Oh my. Florence + The Machine... in The Great Gatsby... all this and heaven too. (And it's actually coming out in two weeks! I've never been this excited for a movie before...)

(source)

Let's face it... all of us here are probably guilty of this. But it's just so fun!

(credit Chocolate-Covered Katie)

Chocolate Mug Cake. I actually haven't eaten any in a while, but the mere thought of it sends me onto a chocolate high! (Go make it now. My recipe is the best.)

(source)

Especially when there's tea and a cuddly blanket involved. (Or a cuddly person!) 

What are some things that make you happy? 

Oh, and always remember...

(source)

Happy Thursday, blog ninjas!

varied readings

Some days I feel like my sole purpose in life is to turn off the lights.

I don't even mean this in a deep, metaphorical way. I literally mean that I walk around my house (and at school too!) turning off the lights that everyone else has forgotten to turn off. (My second purpose is tripping over invisible objects so that everyone can laugh at me. I also minor in closing windows that everyone else has forgotten about.)

With all this stress, it's no wonder that sometimes I just like to curl up with a nice book. (Okay, make that always. If I could spend my entire life eating- I actually have a batch of these brownies in the oven right now!- reading and drinking tea, I would be perfectly happy.) Here's some of my latest picks!

1- Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens.

I mentioned this book in another recent post but, since I'm still loving and reading it, I thought it deserved another mention. Charles Dickens is one of my favourite authors for several reasons, but top of the list his lovely prose (one of the many reasons I was born in the wrong century is because I actually enjoy reading long descriptions!) and his carefully drawn characters- what other author has a character constantly described as a steam engine? (That sounded better in my head... and on the page.)

2- We The Living by Ayn Rand.

This book... just thinking about it again makes me feel sad. It's one of those stories that you start and that you know it's going to end badly, but you keep reading on the off chance that the characters will be drawn out of their deep pit of despair. (Does anyone else do this?)
...Needless to say, this was not a book I'd recommend if you're already feeling down. (Or happy, because then you will feel down for sure.)
But I figure, if I'm still thinking about it a week later... it's a good book.

3- This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald

This book makes me even more excited to go to university! It's filled with descriptions of their long discussions of literature and their sumptuous all-night parties... so it might be wish fulfillment, but a girl can dream, right?

And... that's that! (Yay for classic literature!) What have you been reading lately? )And if you liked my selections, feel free to friend me on Goodreads or Twitter to see what I'm reading next!) Any tasty recipes to go along with it?

 

 

how to incorporate exercise into your day

As I've mentioned many times, exercising and being (sort of) fit is important to me. Sometimes, though, I know it can be hard to incorporate enough movement into your day... so here's how I do it!

In the morning...
-Toss and turn. All that wiggling has got to burn some calories! (Also, wear extremely thick flannel pjs, preferably ones with floral patterns from the 60s... and wrap yourself in quilts... it's like your own personal sauna!)

-Put on knee socks. First step: turn them right side out, because they will inevitably be rolled in a ball. (Actually, that's the third step. First step is putting them on and realising that you have to take them off. Second step is falling off your bed while trying to take them off because they're so tight that yanking them off is a full-body exercise.)

-Alternatively, wear tights. They will be so itchy and irritating that you'll dance all day long! (Or eventually become so frustrated that you are willing to peel them off in front of all your fellow coworkers/students... of course I'd never do that -shifty eyes-)

During the day...

-Perform advanced fidgeting. Tap your feet. Or your fingers. Or bob your head from side to side. You may look like a deranged bobcat, but at least you're staying fit! (Another advantage: no one will want to sit beside you, so you'll have more room to spread out!)

-Drink lots of tea or coffee. What does this have to do with working out, you ask? Well, you'll have to a) stand up to prepare it and b) get up about 50 times during the day to go pee. (Plus, green tea and coffee both boost your metabolism... although I doubt a sugary macchiato really helps in that respect.)

-Play with your hair. Put it in a ponytail. Then decide that you don't like how it looks and put it into a messy bun. When the messy bun falls out, brush it with your fingers. With all this up and down, your shoulders will be toned in no time!)

...Or you could just go to the gym. That works too.

the statistics of prom dresses

Last week, I realised a terrifying fact.

I was the only girl in my class who didn't yet have a prom dress.

When you're one of six girls, that isn't a huge deal... but still. I was abnormal! That never happens! (Cue skeptical laughter...)

I could go on about how silly it is that girls are expected to buy their dresses several months before prom actually happens (it won't be for another two and a half months...) but that's a post all on its own. Therefore, I now present to you... the results of my dress shopping expedition. (Who doesn't love statistics?)

Number of...

...days spent thinking about shopping for it: 124

...days spent actually shopping:  slightly less than one (approx. 6 hours)

...days spent thinking about wearing it: 761 (at least) (this is since before I started highschool)

...days spent wearing it: less than one (sob. cry. I am consoled by the fact that at least it's not too prom-y and I can possibly wear it again someday)

...dresses looked at: 367 (really. at least.)

...of dresses tried on: eighteen

...dresses that didn't fit because of my massive ribcage: four (yes. some people obsess over their thighs or their stomach or their arms. I obsess over my ribcage)

...dresses rejected because of length: twenty-six (because I am too short to wear something floor-length, or even longer than my knees.)

...stores entered: nine

...stores where I tried something on: four

...scary salesgirls faced: eight (like really, don't talk to me. I am perfectly fine on my own.)

...hours in the car: five (so just slightly less than the actual shopping...)

...unknown women who tried to remove my bra: three (thankfully all store employees)

...unknown women who petted me:  one (NOT a store employee) (most awkward moment of the trip)

...so, from this, the conclusion I'm getting to... is that I obsess over things wayyy too much.

However... I have indeed found a dress, so maybe this all paid off?

Sound logical?

What was your prom dress shopping like? What was your dress like? (Or what do you want it to be like, if you haven't yet had a prom?)

essentials & spring cleaning

...it's snowing again.

And since this is the fourth of April, and not the first, you can deduct that this is not an April Fool's.

I'm pretty sure that the universe is paying me back for all the times I pleaded for snow by giving me some now... exactly when I'm ready for spring.

I JUST WANT TO WEAR SPRING DRESSES. Is that really so much to ask? -sob-

But anyway. You did not come here to read my rants about snow. (Or maybe you did. Maybe you, too, think I need payback... but really, I already missed a concert. (No, I'm still not over it.) Isn't that enough?

...now I'm really done.

This post is really about the 52 Lists project. Every week this year, a new prompt will be posted. Although I haven't done all of them (and probably won't- I tend to get distracted from any form of bloggerly organisation) I thought it might be fun to do a few!

First off: Ways to Cleanse for Spring (Week 10). 

What kinds of spring cleaning do you do? The one I'm really trying to work on right now is no. 3... I've been eating so much chocolate & other miscellaneous junk recently... /turns into a gingerbread ninja for realz

And secondly: My Essentials (Week 11)

Hopefully this one is big enough for you to read! As you can see, there are many essentials in my life, some contradictory and some entirely abstract. What are some of yours?

Happy Friday, blog ninjas!

the trials and tribulations of library stalking

...or, more accurately, What Not to Do when trying to creep someone at the library. (Come on now. I'm sure you've all done this. Or wanted to do this. Close enough...) No worries, I'm here to help!

1- Giggling is not subtle. No but really.

2- Hope that your target is sitting in a well-populated area... and not in the most awkward spot beside the dictionaries. I mean really, why sit there anyway? Don't you know that people might want to come... -coughcough- investigate you? Cut me some slack here.

3- If you want a subtle phone, do not get a Blackberry. I love my phone, but I must admit that the keys are a little loud, and therefore not conducive to silent stalking. (Or silent usage while in class. These are important things to keep in mind!) In this respect (and this respect only!) touch-screens are preferable.

4- Hope that your target is sitting near interesting books. The aforementioned dictionaries do not make for good 'Oh, yes, I'm fascinated by this book and I'm totally staring at it and not your head' material. Nor do books such as "Our Aging Problem: how to take care of your elderly parents" or "Fortune 500: the revised list!" Try to apply no. 1 while looking at those titles, I dare you. (To say nothing of the sex manuals that were also lying nearby... Yes, I am that immature.)

5- Have a friend nearby. This way, if all else fails, you can run up to them and pretend that you were looking for them The Entire Time. "Omg, you've lost so much weight that I thought you were hiding in the shelf!" Convincing, right?

...or you could just wait to run into the target while walking down the stairs. That also works.

random travel musings

So here we have it: the conclusion of this series. Did I actually learn anything in my travels, or am I still the same silly girl obsessed with perfectly painted nails?

...Yes to the latter half (my nails were bare the entire trip and it felt as though there was a Piece Missing from my Soul)... but I'd like to think that I'm a tiny bit more cultured. (Looking at the Mona Lisa must count for something, right?) Either way, here are some thoughts that occured to me along the way!

-I could not permanently live with roommates in the same room. Much as I love them, I do not have the patience to deal with anyone else's mess (let's face it, I can barely deal with my own)... yet another reason I have to get an apartment-style residence at university!

here we are, all cute and jet-lagged

-Food in Europe is much more expensive than food around here, as well as coffee being in tiny servings. (You know a small at Tim Hortons? Think half that amount, for three times the price.)

-...but the boys are really really cute #hormones
so it works out.

-The cars in Europe are just SO MUCH CUTER than anything you see around here. Really.

That is the most adorable thing I've ever seen, give it to me now and note also the cute little scooter

-However walking across crosswalks was terrifying... you basically had to put out a hand and hope that no one would hit you. (Rome earns a special mention for this... needless to say, my loving friends made me walk first every time.)

-What do Italians have against toilet seats? It's one little piece of porcelain, and it makes life so much easier. I lived in fear of falling into the toilet every day.

-We heard much about the "pique-poquets"...seriously. Every. Single. Day.

Say it in a French accent. You won't regret it.

-France had so. Many. Sephoras. (And MACs too!) There was even one in the train station! (Might as well look good while travelling... you never know when you'll meet the love of your life!... why yes, I watch a lot of movies, why do you ask?)

...and that's that. It's strange; the more I travel, the more I desire to travel. Once I see a tiny piece of the world- and really, in the grand scheme of things, I've visited no more than a sliver of the map- I can hardly wait to explore other exotic locales. (The places I want to go... that could be a post all on its own!) Unfortunately, I face that great dilemna; a lack of funds. (What kinds of discoveries could exist were money not an object?)

Oh well, I might be a broke student right now, but that won't last forever. Soon enough, I'll be a famous author (feel free to name-drop and say you know me), wearing gorgeous clothes (that is a definite requirement for any job I may hold in the future... and actually a primary reason I decided not to become a paleontologist) and free to jet-set all over the world and call it research! (Uh-oh. You now know my master plan. Don't tell!)

What's your current dream?

current playlist

You'd think that after seventeen (I almost wrote sixteen. Why is remembering my own age so difficult) years of doing it... and getting only pain from it... I would have learnt by now that sitting on my foot is a bad idea.

But no.

I give you this disclaimer before beginning to listen: wondrous as these songs are, they will not cure the pain caused by sitting on your own foot... so don't do it.

What do you think? Have you heard these songs before? Based on them, do you have any recommendations?

tea makes the world go 'round

...or at least my personal world. (At any given time, half of the dishes in our dishwasher are tea mugs/steeping balls/other tea paraphernalia. On another note, I had no idea "paraphernalia" was spelt that way. Rare are the words that elude me, but that managed to do it.)

This post is dedicated to Jesse, who turns 18 today! Happy birthday, bro, and have fun drinking (...tea?) for me!

First off: Coconut Oolong!

David's Tea's Spring Collection came out March 6th, and this was part of it. I love coconut... and creamy teas... so this looked wonderful! (One of their other new teas is called "Pom Tango". Every time I scroll by it quickly, I think it says "Porn Tango" and am just like... no, I did not just read that...)

Next up: Carrot Cake!

Cause let's face it... if there's 'cake' in the title, it must be good! (I wonder if you could add cream cheese icing on top?)

Next... homophone love, Coco Cocoa! (So it's not titled precisely that... but close enough. My version sounds cooler!)

Again with the coconut... and sweetness... I think it's evident what kind of flavours I like. (Seriously though. Calorie-free cocoa. And coconut.)

And, last but not least.... Strawberry Cuppa Chocolate.

(All of this company's teas seem to have 'cuppa' in the name. Is this some odd US thing that I should know about?) Since I can no longer find David's Tea Strawberry Shortcake tea (why do they discontinue all the teas I want. WHY DO YOU HATE ME WORLD???)  this one looks like a lovely substitute! 

Plus, Em gave it to me as a birthday present. (Kinda.) So I'd better like it, right? (Love you forever for offering this to me, Em! Or maybe just hate you because now I want it... so yeah...)

Last comment, on friends giving me strange but lovely gifts (I can tie anything together): according to this Time Lord Namer, (shown to me by Jesse- happy birthday again, bro!) I am now to be known as... The Xenobiologist.

I have no idea what that is.

But it sounds cool, so all is well.

EDIT: omg, just looked it up, and it's a scientist who studies/speculates on alien life forms.

Coolness factor= infinity.

things at which I have no skill

...alternatively put, "things at which I am completely and utterly incapable of doing and should be supervised at in order to not kill myself and others." (Doesn't the title sound far better?) I thought I'd start off the week optimistically- the power of positive thinking, right?

...thinking positively. In case you hadn't already noticed... I tend to be a catastrophic thinker. AKA, everything that could go wrong, will. This isn't usually the case, but it doesn't stop me from thinking such things as "OMG I can't go walking in the woods alone! I'll be eaten by coyotes!"

...straightening my hair. (However, to be entirely fair, I've had my straightener for four years and during none of those has it worked well.) Instead of straightening, my hair tends to stick out horizontally from my head.

...taking selfies. I wanted to show off my adorable new owl shirt...

(Isn't it darling? omg, sequins and owl, I don't think you could get any better) but instead I look oddly contorted. Oh well. Just look at the glitter.

...making Red Velvet Cake Tea. Yes. That is a thing.

Looks delicious, right? But whenever I make it, it tastes like wood. (Not quite so appetizing.) However, whenever my mother makes it, it is a delicious caramelly concoction... I'm not sure why it's such a struggle for me, but there you go. (They say practice makes perfect, but it never seems to get any better.) 

...skiing. Last time, I cried. And fell over. Multiple times. I'd like to say that this was a long time ago... but unfortunately that is not the case. (I haven't even grown... actually I probably weigh more, but that's hardly comforting. Maybe the extra ballast will help me stay upright?)

And yet, that's what I'm going to be doing all day tomorrow with Kori and Cécile. (And that's how this entire post came about!) I may be insane... and if you don't hear back from me, know that I am also deceased.

On that cheerful note, happy Monday! What do you have no skill at doing?

sunny day confessions

It's actually gorgeous outside today, so this title isn't wishful thinking!

-It still feels bizarre to be blogging under my real name... but I like it.

-Even more bizarre? I am incapable of pronouncing my own name. I love hearing other people say it, but the way I say it just sounds stilted. (This makes introducing myself difficult...)

-Older ladies often tell me I'm gorgeous but I rarely hear this from people my own age. This confirms my suspicion that I was born in the wrong age.

-Even my mother has now accepted I will be a Crazy Cat Lady... just look at what she gave me for Valentine's Day!

(Hint: it wasn't the clothes... Also, apology for the slightly creepy smile, blame it on the awkward changeroom lighting!)

-The thought of prom is a bit dispiriting right now. Everyone's talking about their dresses, dates, etc, and all I can think is a) I have no idea where to look for my dress b) I'm probably going to be the only one without a date (in a graduating class of ten people, this is not an exaggeration) and c) what if, when I find my dress, it doesn't fit?


-This weekend is going to be a total Chocolate/Junk In General Overload... but whatever, it's so delicious and it's just one weekend, right? (Except it's three days instead of two... oh well, living in a chocolate buzz makes the extra calories worth it!) (Hm... maybe this is why I have no prom date? And why I worry about fitting into a dress? Shhhh)

-I'm scared of putting gas into the van by myself. I'm worried that, just as I put in the nozzle, someone will leap out and kidnap me.

-I'm addicted to this line of body products.

They all smell absolutely luscious- like candied fruit and dessert and everything nice- and I can't stop using them! (Thank you once again, Mum and Sephora.)

What do you have to confess?

happy blogiversary to me!

So... it's been a year. A year of...

-snow (because you haven't heard enough about this yet, right?)
-social awkwardness
-fashion and makeup (faux pas? hmmm)
-fangirling (mostly Doctor Who)

(why am I putting two of the same letter? I feel like I have to continue now, it's stressing me out)

-working myself into a coma (of boredom)
-food
-boys

(hahaha I broke the chain!)

-confusion
-(the joys of) science (also the hating of)
-friends

(if I forgot them they might beat me up! oh, and speaking of- have you been admiring my beauteous new header? All thanks go to Jess(i)e who is a wonderful person even when he can't decide how to spell his name...)

-tea
-rants (seriously I am proud of this post, if you click on no other links you should read this one!)

and really... thank you. I'm so thankful to all of you for reading, laughing (I hope) or maybe just shaking your head (that's a perfectly normal response too!) as you followed along with me on this crazy journey that is my life.

Finally, though, I have a confession to make.

My name isn't really Zia.

Are you surprised? Confused? Let me explain... I originally had a very different idea for this blog, one that revolved more around the idea of story-telling than of talking about my real life, and so it was easier to have a blog persona rather than use my real name. While I still enjoy the story-telling part of it, my style has evolved and I now find myself using far more of my actual life than invention... so using a false name no longer seems as appropriate. (Although I do love Zia. Sigh. This was a difficult decision.)

So what am I really called?

Tatiana. -takes a bow- (it means fairy princess, in case anyone's curious... so obviously it is appropriate)

Nice to meet you all... again! Let's hope this coming year is as lovely as the next, dearest ninjas.

confessions from the heart

1. Wearing these shoes makes me feel kinda gangsta.

(and yes, I realise that as a white girl who screams at spiders, that is not an appropriate thing to say)

2. For the upcoming Emilie Autumn concert, Erika and I are planning to look like, in her words, "crack-whore faeries"... so be prepared for some pretty crazy photos!

3. I REALLY want this foundation.

source

However, every single time I try to buy it either online or in-store, it's out of stock. I think the universe is trying to tell me something...

4. I also REALLY want this palette.

 source

My birthday is coming up, world... feel free to send it my way! More seriously, though, I think I'll simply not buy any neutrals for a while, then when I run out, buy it.

4. I wish people would mail me letters (or presents... I'm not picky!). I think it's an art that's been lost within my generation, and that saddens me. Is there an official letter day during which we can all share addresses and mail each other things?

5. I don't understand why chip bags contain so few chips.

Like, seriously? (For the record, these aren't even my chips. These are Kori's, so it's ALL HER FAULT.)

6. My right eye is slightly less open than my left eye, all the time... and I hate it. I can't make my eyes match, and I'm really insecure about it.

7. Despite the fact that Friday's snow day caused many accidents and that no one appreciated it except for our town's minority of highschool students... I'm hoping for another one tomorrow. (Yes. When it comes to days off school, I am very selfish.)

8. I can't do a messy bun, and for this reason (amongst many others) I feel that I fail at being a girl.

9.  I'm currently addicted to this song.

(Amongst many others. My friends are kind enough to lend me CDs, and I thus discover much lovely music!)

10. David's Tea no longer sells my favourite tea (Ice Cream Cake)... I discovered that this morning and am still upset.

And that's it for this week, dearling ninjas! (and yes, that is spelt intentionally incorrectly. Because I can never remember any of the lovely and educated words I know, I am forced to invent my own) What do you have to confess?