off into the wild blue yonder

So, I'm off again. As I mentioned in my last post, I leave tomorrow for Winnipeg for five weeks! (On Canada Day. Really. Everyone else will be partying and I'll be sitting on the plane, probably beside some bizarre person who wants to discourse on about eggplants.)

How long is this for, you may ask?

Five weeks.

Do you know how much packing that involves?

This much.

(just assume that everything is stuffed to bursting, mainly with makeup and clothes)

My current life dilemna: why is it that socks always seem to disappear? It's not like I'm only wearing one at a time... The most plausible explanation right now is that our resident ghost wears them as hats and forgets to return them. (Or maybe it's my cat?)

My other problem: how many things am I likely to lose? I could make a list, but I just bought a new notebook and I don't want to contaminate its lovely interior just yet. (The first page is always the hardest. I never want to ruin it and yet I always end up disappointed.)

At least I have an epic soundtrack to comfort me.

I don't know how much time I'll have to blog while I'm over there- I'll try to fit some in and keep you all apprised of my adventures (or maybe misfortunes?)- but, as I don't know what the schedule is (or- the horror!- where I'll find Wifi) it might be difficult. (For some updates, follow me on Twitter!)If you don't see me around much, have a lovely summer anyway, blog ninjas!

anatomy of a prom

The moment that grade twelves wait for all year (or maybe that's just me?) has come and passed. Prom was sweet-bitter; bittersweet, but in reverse, and no less lovely for it. Here's how it all went down...(Warning: long post ahead. But at least I look gorgeous in the photos, so you have plenty of eye candy.)

2:00: wake up with last minute terrors: what if no one shows up? What if everyone else looks much better in their dress than I do?

3:30: convince self that fears are groundless and go back to sleep.

5:30: wake up. Read Georgette Heyer novel and do yoga in attempt to calm self down. This will be basically your entire day, because it doesn't quite work. (Aka: you are so stressed that you're not even hungry. This has never happened to you before, but you appreciate not needing to eat every fifteen minutes.)

2:00: buy Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuchino, because sugar + caffeine= good in every situation. (Especially when you've already been awake for almost 12 hours...)

2:30: arrive at friend's home to start getting ready.

3:30: actually start getting ready. This includes:

-redoing hair 17 times because the style that seemed so simple the first 10 times you practiced has suddenly acquired the complexity of open heart surgery

-acquiring a taste for country music

-texting other friends frantically

-worrying that makeup is too heavy and that you look clownlike

5:45: supposed time of arrival at school.

6:10: actual time of arrival at school. (Oops.) Wander around admiring everyone's dresses.

6:20: get photo taken by professional photographer and feel like model.

(too. much. glamour.) 

 6:30: be forced to put on cap and gown. Realise that the cap makes you look like you're bald, and that you now have to go up on stage wearing it in front of everyone there. (Of course this is also when your date will walk in and you will make a gorgeous first impression.)

6:40: nearly pass out or vomit from stress.

7:00: ceremony actually starts. Listen to long and boring speeches by people you don't even know.

8:00: things are perking up- you've received plenty of scholarships! (The advantages of a) being a nerd and b) going to a small school.)

8:30: realise that if you don't get out of the cap and gown soon you're going to die of excessive sweating before the fun part even starts.

9:00: ceremony finally ends. Sprint to take off your gown, then take lots and lots of photos with friends. They will all be attractive (even if you are as red as a tomato in many of them. And not just your dress. Sigh) despite the awkward school background.

(extra cupcakeness!)

(even though I'm not actually looking, I had to include this to a) show off my eye makeup and b) show off my date... aren't we cute?) 

9:10: admire corsage...

...bought by Bond Girl friends. (The ladies of mystery, dressed all in black.)

(this is honestly my favourite photo of the night. I have no idea why)

9:20: wander around (again) and try to figure out what's going on. (This is your life in a sentence.)

9:30: find the dance floor. Immediately start dancing like a maniac with friends... even if you're the only ones there. (Sad story.)

(we definitely had the most fun)

 9:45: slowdance with date. Dragons. (Like butterflies, but fire-breathing.)

9:50: continue dancing with friends. Forget to say goodbye to all your classmates as they begin to depart for the after-party. (...Whoops.)

10:20: slowdance last song with Kori. Be pleased you are not slowdancing with date because the two of you are so sweaty that it produces a bit of a Velcro attachment effect.

10:30: watch date leave. Realise that, yes, this is all actually happening, and that you won't see many of these people again, and start crying.

10:40: after a few final photos with friends, depart for McDonald's.

11:00: have mood slightly boosted by ice cream and listening in your friends' two separate conversations.

(McDonald's- where all the cool kids go on a Friday night.)

 11:40: leave McDonald's and drive friend home.

12:20: arrive at after-party.

12:22: get bored of after-party. Realise that being one of the only sober people is No Fun but have no desire to get drunk.

12:40: leave after-party with other sober friend.

1:20: arrive home. Jump on trampoline in effort to boost mood.

1:30: collapse on kitchen floor and cry so hard even your cat won't come near you.

2:00: go to bed, still teary but slightly more able to breathe.

...and there you have it: my graduation. Minus the hysterical sobbing (and the never-ending speeches), I enjoyed myself. (And if you really read every word of this, major brownie points to you- not quite enough yet for a home-baked pan, but close.) 

the break-up

So... it's over.

Highschool and I have officially broken up.

It's not a surprise; the relationship hadn't been working for quite a while. I yawned while we were on dates. I read instead of paying attention to what they were saying. I hid under desks to avoid contact (true story) and yet... I feel a pang in my heart at the thought that we're really over.  At my age, 4 years is a long time for a relationship!

At least today was a good day to break up. (Minus the math exam. That was somewhat of a fail... let's just say writing random equations is not always the best way to go.) Sunny, lovely... and filled with cute monsters, of both the cuddly variety...

(the problem with reflective glasses? you can tell I'm taking a selfie)

and the friend variety. 

(so much sexy. the school can't handle it.) 

(Oh, and his sad face? Let's just say I discovered a new skill for air hockey today. WATCH OUT. Especially because my strategy is slamming the puck as hard as possible, without direction of any kind...)

So, despite the fact that I knew the end was coming... it was a good last date. (Give me a day of wandering around with friends anytime.) 

I can't believe we're really done. We've had our ups and downs... but as a whole, I can look back on our time together as a good one. Maybe not the best days of my life (at least I hope not!) but I've definitely learnt, and laughed, and lived. (Do I get extra points for alliteration?) 

So... goodbye, highschool. May everyone else have as successful a relationship with you as I did. 

nerddddd

I've always known that I'm not the most exciting of people... but looking at my answers to the residence ranking quiz I had to fill out today confirmed this theory.

What do you like doing when you have free time? Reading... but I also like Doctor Who! And drinking tea! That's exciting right?

Would you like to have other people in your room? NO WAY. Stay at least a dragon-length away from me at all times.

How often do you clean your room? What do you mean by clean? Do you mean "stack clothes in a moderately tidy pile"? That I can do.

What do you expect your relationship with your roommate to be like? Um, as before, I expect them to stay away from me at all times and I'll do the same. Deal?

Do you have a problem with anyone using your belongings? If you ask me I'm okay with it... as long as you don't break my precious portrait of Aunt Gertrude, we'll get along fine.

What kind of sleeper are you? Early to bed, early to rise. So basically the opposite of everyone else on the planet.

In addition to these fascinating answers, I marked all the suite-style (like an apartment) residences with single rooms highest and the traditional-style (single room) ones lowest... aka please please please, oh residential spirits, take pity on me and DO NOT MAKE ME BE SOCIAL.

What was your rooming experience like? Any tips?

a visit to the vampires

...or, In Which I Spurt Blood Everywhere And Almost Pass Out.

Or not.

Okay, the almost passing out part was true (but then I got to recline in a comfortable chair, be fanned, and drink apple juice... basically I was like Cleopatra, except I wasn't wearing cat-eye liner today) but the only blood-squirting was within the designated bag. (For which I'm sure everyone was thankful.)

In case you haven't guessed... today I went to donate blood, and for my troubles, I recieved... this lovely sticker!

(I tried wearing it on my face but was reprimanded by a nurse...)

It actually wasn't bad. (I do think they should play up the vampire aspect a little more... it might attract hordes of Twilight and/or Vampire Diaries fans!) It was also, for those of you who worry, not very painful. The only parts that hurt a bit were...

1- the iron check. (Which, amazingly, I passed! Obviously Popeye was right and eating tons of spinach makes you strong) This actually hurts, especially because the nurse then kneads your finger until it turns the colours of a sunset.

2- the actual needle-being-stuck-into-your-arm part. This actually didn't hurt any more than accidentally sticking yourself with a brooch (Am I the only one who does this on a regular basis?) and was less painful than a mosquito bite.

3- taking off the surgical tape that you're bandaged with. This was PAIN. Like, tweezing your eyebrows and waxing at the same time pain. Thankfully it was just a small bandage...

(adding to the glamour: it totally matched my nailpolish!) 

Do any of you donate blood? Any interesting experiences?

On another note, if you haven't already, please take a little bit of time to tweet and comment on my S-Trip profile, which is here. Part of the judging criteria for the scholarship is how many supports, shares, comments and tweets the candidate can get... so if you could just take a little time to do one of these for me, I'd really appreciate it!

what I'd like to be known for

Do you ever see connections within the TV shows you're watching? Or the conversations you're having? Or the books you're reading? I don't mean just mentioning the same thing to several people, or watching only crime shows. The connections I'm thinking of are subtler, harder to trace. A character in one novel might prefer an orange dress; a friend will happen to mention that she's been buying a lot of orange clothes. At first it seems coincidental, but as the events keep piling up, they seem to be pointing you further and further in the same direction.

This is the way I've been feeling lately. This quote, and others like it, have been appearing in snippets everywhere:

“One day, you’re seventeen and you’re planning for someday. 

And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today. 

And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.”

― John Green

This terrifies me.

I feel like it's a warning: stop thinking you can plan anything. Stop thinking you have time to waste. (Which is a good thing... but I panic, and then can do nothing.) Do you ever have times when you feel paralysed, caught in time, waiting for something to happen? I feel as though my life has been put on pause, and I'm not quite sure why.

For this reason, this list, from Moorea Seal's list project, was surprisingly difficult for me to write, because I don't know what I want.

(is this clear enough? if not, please tell me so I can change it for next time)

On the whole, this seems fairly comprehensive... it also makes me wonder, am I already some of these things? If people who know me read this, would they laugh at just how off the mark I am? (I hope not.)

One notable exception (in my mind, at least) to this list was smart. I have been known for being smart my entire life, and I'm so tired of it. Being known as 'the smart girl' is exhausting and, in a way, dehumanising. You're not supposed to have weaknesses. You're supposed to be the one who has the answers, who doesn't care what other people think of you because you're just the brain... but that is not all I am.

What about you? What do you want to be known for?

university woes

As a soon-to-go-to university student (come on now. Admit that sounds far better than mere "grade 12 student") finances are a big concern. To be completely honest, mostly I try not to think about it. (Popcorn is cheap, right? And apples? If those were my two main food groups, I could survive!) 

...that is, when I'm not applying to scholarships. 

Did any of you apply to scholarships when you went off to school? How many essays did you write? (Honestly, my convictions on such varied subjects as Timing in Jane Austen and Worker's Rights are beginning to astound even me. Hopefully the judges feel the same!) Honestly, even though I'm a good writer, it's exhausting. (Although far better than the essays I have to write for French class... despite my growing ability to make things up when I have nothing to say, there is REALLY nothing I have to say on Agriculture in 18th-Century Quebec.) 

Also, I am of fairly average physical appearance. Meaning... I am neither tall enough to apply for the Tall Girl Scholarship, nor short enough to apply for the Short Girl scholarship. (These are really things.) Even more average, I have no desire to belong to a nudist colony... YES. There is a scholarship for people who want to join a nudist colony. WHY. (Seriously, I don't understand this mainly because there are so many gorgeous clothes out there. Why waste the opportunity?) 

However, I have still managed to find a few to apply to. My most recent one is the S-Trip Scholarship, in which I am even able to win a trip! (Let's face it, travelling is just the best.) 

(And, well... I just look so good doing it, too. Always a consideration.) 

However, I need supporters. I just need six more people... and I have only eight days left... and I'd really appreciate if some of you could help me out! All you need to do is sign up and say that you support me. (Yay for clicking a link!) Here's my lovely profile!

Thanks for dropping by, and happy Monday! 

dear spring

There are robins on my lawn.

You know what this means... all the worms are being eaten. I do pity them. When I was younger, I used to run around the playground, trying desperately to save them before all the mean kids stepped on them. (I like to see this as a sign that I have a tender heart. My friends, for whatever reason, prefer "weird".)

These days, I don't do that anymore. (I do, however, wince whenever I go driving in the rain... am I running them over? Please ooze out of my way, little worms!) These days, I prefer to take robins as a sign that spring is, finally, here.

Is this a good thing? I'm not entirely sure. There is sun now, which means that the world will expect me to...

1. Be tanned. You've seen photos of me... but they don't accurately capture my glow. My skin tone, at the darkest of times, is a cross between "half-ripe strawberry" (freckles as seeds, and just generally red) and "friendly neighbourhood ghost" (except I'm not always friendly, and we don't live anywhere near each other, so let's just go with 'ghost')... and yet people still ask me why I don't go tanning.

2. Have a job. This isn't entirely a bad expectation- I could use some money to go on wild shopping sprees (...for tea. Shh. Pretend I said something crazy... like chocolate!) but, seeing as I'm going away for five weeks this summer (details later) I highly doubt anyone would want to hire me.

3. Leave the playgrounds to the little kids. They, like the robins, seem to be sprouting everywhere... and now, whenever I try to go on the swings, I am greeted with major suspicion. Is it really that unbelievable that I want to go on a playground? Do I look like some kind of criminal?

4. Drink Frappuchinos or Ice Capps instead of coffee. ...okay so this is my own expectation. This is so awful I can't even describe how little I want to drink a deliciously sweet and creamy iced drink... How horrifying.

5. Prepare for university. I'm not sure where this one is coming from. I have a popcorn maker! What other preparations do I need to make? I would far rather look at Cat Bounce! (click it. Now. It is so worth it.)

What kinds of expectations are you feeling this spring?

yes. I am actually leaving.

Reason #149 that I fail at life: I am unable to wave at people without looking like I am a) having a seizure or b) actually not human, but some giant whale creature that just discovered arms. (Either one works. Whichever is more evocative in your mind.) Aka, today I frightened one of my former coworkers so much that she nearly fell off a bridge...

But. This post is (amazingly) not about my enduring social awkwardness. A little while ago, I posted about how I really needed to get myself in gear (because I'm a bike? Or a car? That expression doesn't even make sense) and actually choose a university. (Sign you are a procrastinator: you get accepted to the university of your choice at the beginning of December and don't accept until the end of April... true story.)

However, I am pleased to announce that today, I finally accepted University of Waterloo: Arts & Business. (Yes. Future entrepreneur here. HAHAHA) Keep your eyes peeled (now this expression crosses straight through "nonsensical" and goes to "disgusting and grape-like") for the girl with the kitty ears and the dazed expression.

(I don't even know what this building is. We just saw a sign and went for the photo op)

(obviously the fact that I saw this gum stain in the shaoe of a head played a part in my deciding to go there)

I toured it over the summer (and didn't even post about it! You poor souls missed out!) and, needless to say, I loved it. Despite the lack of David's Tea and Sephora in the environs (yes, this is what I first consider, the proximity of shopping) I think we'll deal quite nicely. I'm most looking forward to the long discussions about literature... if no one's willing to have them with me, I will forcibly kidnap them. (Just kidding! Mostly!)

Watch out Waterloo... here I come.

(ok so this is my friend and not me but you get the point, we're both creepers)

(aka, I will probably trip and fall into many people...  And frighten them with my waving... And antagonise others by constantly talking about Doctor Who... are you still sure you want me?)

on biology

Sometimes I stare into the mirror and try to count my freckles. I'm nearly certain that (at a rate of one per year or so) they are increasing... however I could be mistaken and it could just be pen stains. (Yes, I wash my face frequently... but I also have acquired the bad habit of chewing on my writing utensils. I noticed this only after I offered to lend someone a pencil and they refused with a horrified stare... causing me to realise that said pencil was currently in my mouth. Whoops.)

Having more freckles is actually comforting, not only because it means I am getting vitamin D (or so I tell myself- I'm no longer taking biology and so try not to trouble my pretty little head with such conundrums) but because it means that, in some intangible way, I am evolving. It's nice to know that my body manages to do things without my conscious self sometimes (although I must say, dreaming three times about The Office last night was not a conscious decision either. That seems to border on obsession... what other things am I thinking about without even noticing? SCARY) because it seems that, in general, I am inclined to think too much.

...speaking of: did you know that the tobacco plant has different reactions depending on what predator lands on it? Sometimes it's poisonous. Sometimes it's spiky. Basically, its leaves... have brains. Am I the only one scared by this? Everyone's worried about the zombie apocalypse- I think I'll fear take-over by plants.

But to return to talking about myself (because we all know that's my favourite subject... actually that's a lie. My favourite subject is literature. However, are my favourite books only a reflection of myself?... #TooComplicated #TimeForANap)... I still haven't decided on a university.

-hides behind the sofa-

Yes. Despite having recieved my offer in DECEMBER, I have yet to decide which program to choose. (At this point, I'm actually hoping for that tobacco plant apocalypse so that I don't have to make a decision. Or I might just draw it out of a hat- that would be far more productive!)

Yeah, so... that's that. Another example of indecisiveness: I've been thinking about making popcorn all week and I have yet to do so because plugging in my air-popcorn maker just seems like too much work...

DECISION TIME: I'm going to go make popcorn- all that's prevented me from doing so before now is the fact that it is downstairs and I am not, and no one has yet invented a teleportation machine. (I am 100% certain that, if such a thing did exist, it would be used primarily to get food.)

also: I am finally on Bloglovin! Go me! (And go follow me!)

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Happy Sunday, blog ninjas! (If you've gotten all the way to here, let me award you some honorary popcorn.)

things at which I have no skill

...alternatively put, "things at which I am completely and utterly incapable of doing and should be supervised at in order to not kill myself and others." (Doesn't the title sound far better?) I thought I'd start off the week optimistically- the power of positive thinking, right?

...thinking positively. In case you hadn't already noticed... I tend to be a catastrophic thinker. AKA, everything that could go wrong, will. This isn't usually the case, but it doesn't stop me from thinking such things as "OMG I can't go walking in the woods alone! I'll be eaten by coyotes!"

...straightening my hair. (However, to be entirely fair, I've had my straightener for four years and during none of those has it worked well.) Instead of straightening, my hair tends to stick out horizontally from my head.

...taking selfies. I wanted to show off my adorable new owl shirt...

(Isn't it darling? omg, sequins and owl, I don't think you could get any better) but instead I look oddly contorted. Oh well. Just look at the glitter.

...making Red Velvet Cake Tea. Yes. That is a thing.

Looks delicious, right? But whenever I make it, it tastes like wood. (Not quite so appetizing.) However, whenever my mother makes it, it is a delicious caramelly concoction... I'm not sure why it's such a struggle for me, but there you go. (They say practice makes perfect, but it never seems to get any better.) 

...skiing. Last time, I cried. And fell over. Multiple times. I'd like to say that this was a long time ago... but unfortunately that is not the case. (I haven't even grown... actually I probably weigh more, but that's hardly comforting. Maybe the extra ballast will help me stay upright?)

And yet, that's what I'm going to be doing all day tomorrow with Kori and Cécile. (And that's how this entire post came about!) I may be insane... and if you don't hear back from me, know that I am also deceased.

On that cheerful note, happy Monday! What do you have no skill at doing?

finally it is over

(Beware. I have been vibrating with fatigue all day. I passed out in the metro and some random old man poked me in the shoulder because he thought I'd miss my stop... needless to say I pretended not to understand English, because that's just what you do in that kind of situation, right? But anyway. If this post is incoherent, now you know why.)

Today was... drumroll please... the last in my series of university visits! Yes, I am finally done with tours and with... okay I can't think of anything else, but whatever, it's ALL done. I am now up to NINE campus visits- I think that might be some kind of record- can I have a medal? (Or even just a free meal. I keep being so hungry... that's definitely not something I will miss...) However, out of all of these visits, I've narrowed it down to three universities I'm actually interested in! (Okay, more like I LOVED these three and didn't like-in some cases even hated- the others.)

Today's visits were... a little bit strange, to say the least. Just being on the metro was actually an interesting situation. During one of our trips, right beside me, there was a group of people discussing the store I work at. (Like, in detail.) No one talks about where I work! No one even visits us there! (The sadness of my life.) Although we were the ones being the rulebreakers... as in, HOLDING THE DOOR OPEN. Gasp, right? How dare we? Apparently we could even have been fined for this.

What can I say, we're just such rebels. And then... we entered the university, and what's the first thing I see?

'Amiante' is French for 'asbestos', for those of you not in the know. Do I really want to go somewhere that has this label on the one of the doors? Not so much.

At least I managed to stop for coffee along the way. (Mochas make everything better.)

(This photo is dedicated to one of my friends, who took this picture for me despite assuring me several times that I was being 'lame' and that 'no one takes random pictures of themselves with coffee, even if it is for a blog!'... you can tell she isn't a blogger. Also I just realised that everywhere I go, I either have photos of myself with coffee or wearing crazy glasses... what can I say, it's my theme.)

Okay. So it is now after seven pm and I judge it time to go to bed. (There was no Vampire Diaries this week... I was so sad...) Goodnight world, and have a great weekend!

absolute anticipation

Right now, I am being my usual cool self... and working on UNIVERSITY SPREADSHEETS! (Is it sad that I'm actually excited by this... nahhh?) I'm sure that, when I'm older, I will be impressed by my own work habits... or maybe I'll just think, wow, I used to be kind of a weirdo. (Which is a word I need to banish from my vocabulary. It sounds so unsophisticated. Any suggestions?) I worry about what my future children will think... LOLZ JOKES, I'm never having kids, so no worries!

Anywayyyys, all of this planning-my-future deal is no use if I don't have a concrete idea of where I might head after, right? So, I decided to compile a list of jobs I could do in the future!

• Paleontologist. If you think I'm obsessed with dinosaurs now, trust me when I say it's NOTHING compared to when I was little. When I was two or three, I knew the name of every single dinosaur out there. (No lie.) I carried little dinosaurs around with me and corrected store owners when they said the names wrong (1- I have no memory of this and 2- I seem to have been a bit of a know-it-all). All that to say that I think I could do a pretty great job... especially if I got to wear my dinosaur hat all the time!

I mean really. How is that NOT cool?

• Writer. This would be, hands down, dream job of my life. Writing... all the time... Not talking to people... hanging out in coffee shops... (Okay, so obviously this is unrealistic, but let me have my dreams!) Seriously though, if I could make money off stories/blogging/poetry, my life would be complete. 

• Ninja/spy. If watching James Bond and Spiderman allows you to qualify for this, then I am definitely ready! (Waiting for those job offers now, CSIS.) Honestly, as much as I love 007 (FINALLY got to watch Skyfall! I've only been waiting since SUMMER after all... seems like forever...) I think I would do a far better job than he would. I mean, blowing up embassies? Crazy car chases? Please. I would be far less conspicious. (Now remains only to select a cool alibi...) 

I mean, come on. How is that not a spy face? Wearing those around... I'd be sure to get the job done. 

• Tea developer. How fun would this be? The idea of thinking up crazy new flavour combinations and/or names intrigues me. (However whenever I tell friends this, they're like... really? That's possibly the lamest profession ever.... For which I say only, SOCK DESIGNER.) When I live in a larger city, I actually plan on BEGGING for a position in a store like David's Tea. (Seriously, watch me. If I can't get one through an interview, I plan on simply hanging around until they get so sick of me that they decide to hire me... Hmmm, writing this down, my logic seems flawed.) 

Speaking of, my latest want is Earl Grey Cream from Teavana. Doesn't it look luscious? 

• Editor. If I don't end up writing professionally (note the adverb, I'll ALWAYS be writing, even if no one ever sees it) I'd love to be able to look over other peoples'. I'm the type of person who actually enjoys replacing commas and offering suggestions on character development... or maybe this just means I'm a little Miss Bossypants. (Also very possible.)

What about you? What kinds of jobs did you dream of when you were in highschool?

sunday confessions

1) I think Ì'm addicted to blogging. Like seriously. Whenever I don't do it for a few days, I start feeling withdrawal. (I figure this is a healthy enough obsession, so I'm not too worried... but still. I will monitor the progress of the infection closely.)

2) Let's face it, this bathroom stall basically makes me want to go to this university.

3) "Zia is so cool!" said no one ever. Do you ever wish you could just change your personality? Even if it was just for a day? If I could, I'd be so much more confident, so much more calm, think so much less, just be so... different. I like me, but sometimes I just can't stand being in my head.

4) I've been tired for over three weeks now... I'm beginning to become accustomed to the dizzy spells and confusion. (...This is not healthy.)

5) Isn't this the coolest restaurant glass ever?

Plus, the walls were all steampunky. (Another reason I love cities, oh my, décor other than brick walls...)

6)Why are there so many universities I have to love? Right now there are three that I desperately want to attend... and I still have one more to visit. There should be a cloning machine... so that I can go to all of them... but somehow I don't think the world needs any more Zia.

7) I pretend to be so confident about it all, but really I'm so scared... I'm not worried about leaving home, but I'm worried about who I'll be when I get there. I'm so used to being 'the girl who writes' but once I'm in English, I won't be the only one anymore. I won't be the best like I'm so accustomed to. What if I'm just not good enough?

8) This is my current favourite song (so, for a day or two...)

CHILLS.

So yay for angsty, late-night word vomit, right? How are all of you doing?

"baby, baby, where'd you put the bagpipes?!"

Did that get your attention? (How could it not?) It certainly captured mine in the middle of the night as it was yelled outside my hotel room. For whatever reason (ok, the reason being that we are frugal, or cheap) we tend to stay in hotels that are just this side of sketchy... not quite in the bad area of town, but definitely in the weird one. (However, I am grateful for this, since it means I have money for tea and university!) Gotta love big cities, right?

The next morning, on we went to the university open house!

Just a little advertising in the Science building. (If you're here from that, let me just say that I am amazed, and welcome! ...confession though, I am most definitely not into science.)

Of course there was a Tim Hortons! (I also managed to get in a visit to Starbucks- is anyone else in love with the Eggnog Latte?- and TWO to David's Tea, my dream place. Expect tea reviews soon!) 

After many tours, we went to the... James Bond exhibit! (I found out that he wore aviator sunglasses in the movies too, just further proof that mine are the coolest things ever.) 

My attempt at 'femme fatale'... might have been a little more successful had I not been wearing a plaid shirt. The exhibit was super cool though, I would definitely recommend it! OMG blinged-out dresses... every single one was dripping in glitter... my sort of clothes for sure.

Of course, they might not quite match my current object of desire...

I want one of these hats so badly, omg. Christmas is coming up, guys! -wink wink nudge nudge- (Because really, who doesn't want to look like their head is being eaten?) 

Who doesn't love random rickshaws? (Alliteration is fun!) Seriously though, this was just sitting in the middle of the street... I have no idea what it was doing there... and it was gone when we walked there in the morning. Maybe the people looking for bagpipes decided to steal it instead?

Sometimes street signs express things that you could never have put into words yourself, but that are oddly appropriate. 

The next day (which I somehow have no photos of, silly me) we toured another university (which was equally wonderful. Why are there so many that I have to love?) and bought... mittens? l,sjdkhgaiwehg it was COLD. Like, my fingers were nearly falling off. 

You can see the faint purple tinge here. (I actually love this photo so much... I may not have been able to find glasses to try on, but at least I had a mask!) 

...and nearly expired from hunger (okay, maybe that was just me. I think I have a problem...)

This is actually my mother's food... by the time she mentioned taking a photo, I had already inhaled more than half of mine. (Shh. It had been a long walk.) (Also, before you think she's a genius, let me just mention that she also talked about the 'warm womblike washroom' at the restaurant for quite a while... yeah...) 

After eating, we waddled (what can I say, the food was REALLY GOOD) over to the museum to go see... DINOSAURS! 

This is an actual dinosaur skull. Doesn't it look like a vaccum cleaner?

I thought my hoodie was quite appropriate! (For once. In what other situation is wearing a giant eel approriate anyway?) 

The one thing that would have made the exhibit better would have been if they had dinosaurs to sit on... I mean really, taking a ride on one of them would have made my day! (If you can have ride-on dinosaurs in playgrounds, why not in museums? I'm positive I wouldn't have been the only one pleased by this... so the remainder might have been under ten, but still.)

I love this city. For a small-town girl like myself, walking down the main street in the middle of the night (ok. So it was like nine. Whatever) filled me with such an energy and a feeling... I can't describe it. Do you city-dwellers know what I mean? (I figure that, for this, I could deal with the noise... let's see if I still feel that way when I have no money left for tea.)

the narcissistic view from my window

So... I know I'm still doing the photo challenge... but today I am cheating a little bit. I already took a photo of the view from my window (and it can be seen here) so I decided to, instead, give you all a quick view of what is happening through the window of my mind. (Yay for metaphors!) Follows a (somewhat complete) list of everything I've been thinking about recently... (Also it gave me the opportunity to, as I mentioned last week, use the word narcissistic in a title! because let's face it I can be slightly self-obsessed.)

-why do I keep biting the inside of my lip? it's all swollen and sore, and I don't know why it keeps happening, I think my teeth are in the wrong spot but I used to have braces so that can't be right

-maybe I just eat too much gum, 4 pieces a day is perhaps excessive

-but then I'd just eat more chocolate-covered almonds OMG they are my life why are they so good and why do they have so many calories? it's just sad

-also salted nuts and roasted veggies yay food!

-but also exercise, running is so much fun, I ran to the post office and I am so proud...why does no one ever send me exciting parcels? A MYSTERY

-and why is amazon so slow? My gorgeous phone case probably won't arrive for a month and I want to show you all the amazingness that it is

-it's British and we all know that British things are the coolest

-during the university tour the guide thought I was British because this was my outfit:

-aren't we cute? Yes we are and we look so university-ish, OMG I can't wait to be a university student, I AM SO READY and yet I will probably cry a river when time comes to actually leave but it is so thrilling

-school starts in 5, yes FIVE DAYS, and I work this entire weekend so I can't even enjoy it

-I will be bored, but I will have money (yes I think about this all the time and have even posted about it I think, but whatever you all probably feel the same, amiright?)

-except school doesn't even pay me and yet it is probably more boring (except for english class because I get to write on my blog, hahaha)

-however the thought of fall is exciting, I am sitting on the deck and dying of heatstroke right now

-why does my laptop generate so much heat? Is it going to spontaneously combust? OMG I'M GONNA DIE, you may all share my hat collection

-thank goodness my cellphone is not this warm or I would definitely pass out since it is always in my pocket

-although really, I don't text that much, I swear I'm not that annoying girl with her phone always in her face

-no I'm the annoying girl who's always holding a book

-OMG I just read Keeping the Castle by Patrice Kindl (go read it now, link to Goodreads provided) and it is literally my favourite book ever, I don't say that a lot so you know I really mean it this time, it is so funny that I CRIED and had to stuff my face in a pillow for fear of waking the children I was babysitting up

-THANK GOD I am an only child because I think I would be tired all the time if I had a sibling

-especially if they decided to spray Febreze in my mouth, that stuff is VILE

And now I'm out of breath and must stop. (Gag. Even the thought of Febreze is revolting.) What are some things that have been on your mind recently?

And, as usual for the Thursday, this is my contribution to Jenny Matlock's wonderful linkup!

zoom zoom zoom

Hello dearest listeners! I'd just like to apologize- I haven't really been keeping up my PDA as well as I should. (You can determine my level of maturity by realising that every time I type 'PDA' I laugh a little bit.) The reason for this is... I'm going on a road trip!

Okay, so it'll only last two days. Major packing was still required. (As in... what if I don't feel like wearing that outfit? What if there's a zombie invasion and all my clothes become covered in brains and I don't want to get eaten? These kinds of considerations are Very Important.)

I'll just be off determining my future (doesn't that sound so much more exciting than plain old 'visiting universities?)... which may basically mean getting lost, being hungry and tired, and crying. (So a little bit like my last wilderness camping trip.) Who knows? After spending so much time thinking 'I can't wait to get out of here' I may realise that I want to stay locked up in my room for all eternity.

I hope you're all having a great weekend, and once again I apologise for such infrequent posting! Regular programming will return on Wednesday... perhaps by then I will have Decided My Future. (I kinda doubt it though. I have a list- of course I have a list, right?- of approximately ten universities and we're only seeing three. Whatever. It'll be fun.)

watch out... i might be behind you...

When you're in highschool, there's a lot of emphasis put on deciding what you're going to be when you grow up. (Age-wise, not height-wise... At least I'm guessing, otherwise I'm stuck.) Now, I've debated many options. Writer, editor, food scientist, paleontologist... However, last night, I realised where my future truly lies.

Guys... I'm going to be a ninja.

Just looking at this lovely blurry webcam photo, can't you see all the potential?

I'm wearing a semi-black shirt and black shorts! How much more ninja can you get? (I was wearing an entirely black t-shirt, but even ninjas have to be stylish... and the all-black look wasn't working for me.)

As for the glasses... admit it, they're gorgeous. And totally ninja-esque.

And where does this newfound ambition stem from, you may well ask? The answer is simple. Spiderman. (Whoever said superhero movies were a waste of time didn't know what they were talking about.) I was totally jealous. That scene on the train... (If you've seen it, you'll know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW. It's amazing. Plus you can drool over Andrew Garfield for TWO HOURS.) Despite the fact that I am one of the klutziest people on Earth, I knew right away that I want to be able to do that.

IT'S OFFICIAL, GUYS. I even worked out today! (Ok, so I work out almost every day. Whatever. I HAD A GOAL TODAY and that makes it better.) Next on the agenda- finding ninja classes. Do those exist? Are they completely secret, and you have to prove yourself first? Whatever it takes, I will do it! 

...so what was your life plan when you were sixteen? Or if you're not yet there, what is it now?