off into the wild blue yonder

So, I'm off again. As I mentioned in my last post, I leave tomorrow for Winnipeg for five weeks! (On Canada Day. Really. Everyone else will be partying and I'll be sitting on the plane, probably beside some bizarre person who wants to discourse on about eggplants.)

How long is this for, you may ask?

Five weeks.

Do you know how much packing that involves?

This much.

(just assume that everything is stuffed to bursting, mainly with makeup and clothes)

My current life dilemna: why is it that socks always seem to disappear? It's not like I'm only wearing one at a time... The most plausible explanation right now is that our resident ghost wears them as hats and forgets to return them. (Or maybe it's my cat?)

My other problem: how many things am I likely to lose? I could make a list, but I just bought a new notebook and I don't want to contaminate its lovely interior just yet. (The first page is always the hardest. I never want to ruin it and yet I always end up disappointed.)

At least I have an epic soundtrack to comfort me.

I don't know how much time I'll have to blog while I'm over there- I'll try to fit some in and keep you all apprised of my adventures (or maybe misfortunes?)- but, as I don't know what the schedule is (or- the horror!- where I'll find Wifi) it might be difficult. (For some updates, follow me on Twitter!)If you don't see me around much, have a lovely summer anyway, blog ninjas!

life lately...

I haven't done (anything) one of those "Currently..." style posts for a while (okay, I only did one once, so it's not like I've been neglecting a life essential, but still) so I thought I'd let you all know what's crack-a-lacking! (How do you spell that? More to the point, does anyone say that anymore?) 

Listening to...

This song is just so cute and happy! (Plus, someone dressed as the Doctor makes an appearance. Obviously I'd like it.) I've also found myself strangely obsessed with everything Owl City... too cute. It's like a hug in music form. 

Wishing... that I had gum. I really want gum. I also wanted gum yesterday, but we did not have any. THE SADNESS. 

Drinking... matcha.

(from David's Tea, of course!)

For those of you who don't spend over 2 hours browsing online tea sale sites, matcha is powdered green tea that you whisk into a froth and drink with milk... mmmm. It's very sweet and light, perfect even when it's hot out! 

Feeling... terrified, traumatized, tired... why are there so many negative t words? This is the first time I'm mentioning it here, but on Monday I leave to go to Winnipeg for five weeks- I'm very excited about it, but it's bizarre to think that I'm going to be away for such a long time and then leave almost immediately after for university. Everything is happening so fast! (I say, reclining in the hammock and reading...) 

Reading... the short stories of Fitzgerald.

(go read it. trust me.)

So maybe I'm obsessed (and reading into them far too much) but I find their descriptions of evanescent beauty utterly relatable. I might not be pining over lost love but I still feel that sense of being a spectator in my own life that he manages to capture so well. (Can I just say I want to be him? Except minus the drinking and mental breakdowns?) 

Wearing... My aviators. All three pairs. 

And most definitely NOT my uniform. Goodbye, kilt of awkward lenght! Au revoir, polo tent! You, I will not miss. 

Making... this exfoliant scrub from Under Peach Trees!

(her photo, not mine- I doubt mine will be that pretty!)

The idea of cleaning with chocolate and coffee just seemed so luscious that I couldn't resist. (Plus, one of the coffees we have is revolting and this seemed like a good opportunity to get rid of it!)

Watching... Blogilates videos.

DO IT. Right now. I dare you. It's only four minutes long... but it might kill your legs. (Hopefully it does because otherwise I will feel pathetic. Honestly, I'm not sure whether to find the thought that the only thing I'm even watching right now is exercise videos pathetic or not...) 

So what's going on in your life? 

anatomy of a prom

The moment that grade twelves wait for all year (or maybe that's just me?) has come and passed. Prom was sweet-bitter; bittersweet, but in reverse, and no less lovely for it. Here's how it all went down...(Warning: long post ahead. But at least I look gorgeous in the photos, so you have plenty of eye candy.)

2:00: wake up with last minute terrors: what if no one shows up? What if everyone else looks much better in their dress than I do?

3:30: convince self that fears are groundless and go back to sleep.

5:30: wake up. Read Georgette Heyer novel and do yoga in attempt to calm self down. This will be basically your entire day, because it doesn't quite work. (Aka: you are so stressed that you're not even hungry. This has never happened to you before, but you appreciate not needing to eat every fifteen minutes.)

2:00: buy Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuchino, because sugar + caffeine= good in every situation. (Especially when you've already been awake for almost 12 hours...)

2:30: arrive at friend's home to start getting ready.

3:30: actually start getting ready. This includes:

-redoing hair 17 times because the style that seemed so simple the first 10 times you practiced has suddenly acquired the complexity of open heart surgery

-acquiring a taste for country music

-texting other friends frantically

-worrying that makeup is too heavy and that you look clownlike

5:45: supposed time of arrival at school.

6:10: actual time of arrival at school. (Oops.) Wander around admiring everyone's dresses.

6:20: get photo taken by professional photographer and feel like model.

(too. much. glamour.) 

 6:30: be forced to put on cap and gown. Realise that the cap makes you look like you're bald, and that you now have to go up on stage wearing it in front of everyone there. (Of course this is also when your date will walk in and you will make a gorgeous first impression.)

6:40: nearly pass out or vomit from stress.

7:00: ceremony actually starts. Listen to long and boring speeches by people you don't even know.

8:00: things are perking up- you've received plenty of scholarships! (The advantages of a) being a nerd and b) going to a small school.)

8:30: realise that if you don't get out of the cap and gown soon you're going to die of excessive sweating before the fun part even starts.

9:00: ceremony finally ends. Sprint to take off your gown, then take lots and lots of photos with friends. They will all be attractive (even if you are as red as a tomato in many of them. And not just your dress. Sigh) despite the awkward school background.

(extra cupcakeness!)

(even though I'm not actually looking, I had to include this to a) show off my eye makeup and b) show off my date... aren't we cute?) 

9:10: admire corsage...

...bought by Bond Girl friends. (The ladies of mystery, dressed all in black.)

(this is honestly my favourite photo of the night. I have no idea why)

9:20: wander around (again) and try to figure out what's going on. (This is your life in a sentence.)

9:30: find the dance floor. Immediately start dancing like a maniac with friends... even if you're the only ones there. (Sad story.)

(we definitely had the most fun)

 9:45: slowdance with date. Dragons. (Like butterflies, but fire-breathing.)

9:50: continue dancing with friends. Forget to say goodbye to all your classmates as they begin to depart for the after-party. (...Whoops.)

10:20: slowdance last song with Kori. Be pleased you are not slowdancing with date because the two of you are so sweaty that it produces a bit of a Velcro attachment effect.

10:30: watch date leave. Realise that, yes, this is all actually happening, and that you won't see many of these people again, and start crying.

10:40: after a few final photos with friends, depart for McDonald's.

11:00: have mood slightly boosted by ice cream and listening in your friends' two separate conversations.

(McDonald's- where all the cool kids go on a Friday night.)

 11:40: leave McDonald's and drive friend home.

12:20: arrive at after-party.

12:22: get bored of after-party. Realise that being one of the only sober people is No Fun but have no desire to get drunk.

12:40: leave after-party with other sober friend.

1:20: arrive home. Jump on trampoline in effort to boost mood.

1:30: collapse on kitchen floor and cry so hard even your cat won't come near you.

2:00: go to bed, still teary but slightly more able to breathe.

...and there you have it: my graduation. Minus the hysterical sobbing (and the never-ending speeches), I enjoyed myself. (And if you really read every word of this, major brownie points to you- not quite enough yet for a home-baked pan, but close.) 

the break-up

So... it's over.

Highschool and I have officially broken up.

It's not a surprise; the relationship hadn't been working for quite a while. I yawned while we were on dates. I read instead of paying attention to what they were saying. I hid under desks to avoid contact (true story) and yet... I feel a pang in my heart at the thought that we're really over.  At my age, 4 years is a long time for a relationship!

At least today was a good day to break up. (Minus the math exam. That was somewhat of a fail... let's just say writing random equations is not always the best way to go.) Sunny, lovely... and filled with cute monsters, of both the cuddly variety...

(the problem with reflective glasses? you can tell I'm taking a selfie)

and the friend variety. 

(so much sexy. the school can't handle it.) 

(Oh, and his sad face? Let's just say I discovered a new skill for air hockey today. WATCH OUT. Especially because my strategy is slamming the puck as hard as possible, without direction of any kind...)

So, despite the fact that I knew the end was coming... it was a good last date. (Give me a day of wandering around with friends anytime.) 

I can't believe we're really done. We've had our ups and downs... but as a whole, I can look back on our time together as a good one. Maybe not the best days of my life (at least I hope not!) but I've definitely learnt, and laughed, and lived. (Do I get extra points for alliteration?) 

So... goodbye, highschool. May everyone else have as successful a relationship with you as I did. 

nerddddd

I've always known that I'm not the most exciting of people... but looking at my answers to the residence ranking quiz I had to fill out today confirmed this theory.

What do you like doing when you have free time? Reading... but I also like Doctor Who! And drinking tea! That's exciting right?

Would you like to have other people in your room? NO WAY. Stay at least a dragon-length away from me at all times.

How often do you clean your room? What do you mean by clean? Do you mean "stack clothes in a moderately tidy pile"? That I can do.

What do you expect your relationship with your roommate to be like? Um, as before, I expect them to stay away from me at all times and I'll do the same. Deal?

Do you have a problem with anyone using your belongings? If you ask me I'm okay with it... as long as you don't break my precious portrait of Aunt Gertrude, we'll get along fine.

What kind of sleeper are you? Early to bed, early to rise. So basically the opposite of everyone else on the planet.

In addition to these fascinating answers, I marked all the suite-style (like an apartment) residences with single rooms highest and the traditional-style (single room) ones lowest... aka please please please, oh residential spirits, take pity on me and DO NOT MAKE ME BE SOCIAL.

What was your rooming experience like? Any tips?

drawing myself (spoilers: or a dinosaur!)

The other day, Jesse showed me his self-portrait... and it was amazing.

So, after crying for a little while at my own lack of art skills... I decided to draw myself!

...it didn't exactly go as planned.

As you can see, the facial ressemblance is totally there, especially in the teeth. (This is referring to the unfortunate period of time in which I had braces. My mouth was unfortunately pointy because of the weight of metal, and saliva frequently dripped from my glamourously coloured elastics... when they weren't snapping in people's faces, that is. SEXY TIMES.) Also, the butterfly wings. (I can see myself as a child wearing these.) Obviously, this is also a one-of-a-kind creation, which also fits my personality and style. (How many winged dinosaurs have you seen lately? Probably none. How many Tatianas wearing cat ears have you seen? Also probably none. There is some margin for error here, but it's Infinitesimal. ("Nothing really touches, bro, just kinda floats...")

The worst part, though? I was babysitting while I drew this (we were having an Art Time. I did not just abandon the poor child to fend for herself in order to create this masterpiece) and the girl's reaction, after looking at it dubiously for a few minutes: "Well, you did say you hadn't drawn in a while..."

Sigh. Apparently I should not rely on my drawings to get me by.

If you drew yourself, either seriously or in jest, how would you do it?

arrested who?

(If you watch any of these shows you will realise exactly how perfect this is. For you poor people who don't I'm letting you know: it is a perfect title.) 

Okay, so this post may have been spurred by withdrawal. This is the time (I'm supposed to be studying) I have lots of time to relax... and yet there is no TV! Am I the only one who thinks this is counterproductive? (However, at least it gives me something to blog about... pros and cons.)

1. Doctor Who. Aliens and time travellers and running, oh my! (Trust me. There is a lot of running. Like I've said before, the whole point of me exercising is so that, the day the Doctor comes to get me, I'm fit enough to keep up.)

(also David Tennant. Just... swoonnnn)

2. Arrested Development. "Now the story of an insane wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together because his insanity manifests through caring for all these freaks." (Official tagline, italics mine.)

(best part: when you rewatch it you find even more jokes.)

3. Sherlock. I can obviously relate to the 'no one knows better than me' of the main character. (Oh, and you think I'm an obsessed fangirl? Just look up Sherlock on Tumblr. You will not believe the things people write...)

(those. cheekbones.)

4. Broadchurch. I'm not much for crime shows (I say, writing about the second one on my list) but this one, since it focuses on only one murder the entire season, intrigued me, mainly because you really get to see into the psychological profiles of the characters. (Although there were some things that puzzled me: what happened to the cocaine?)

(also, again: David Tennant. Although he looks like he's going to die he has an amazing Scottish accent) 

So, what is it such different concepts have in common? (Other than that three out of four are by BBC... what can I say, I'm a sucker for British accents...) They're all mindblowing. They're all the kind of show that you stare at the TV and whisper... "what just happened..." and have to watch several times just in order to wrap your mind around it.

Like really. Sometimes I have no idea what's going on.

I love it.

My friends probably love this a bit less, because I frequently trap them in corners in order to explain exactly what is happening and why they need to care about it. And I cry about it too... this results in a lot of awkward hugs and arm-patting while they secretly wonder "what's going on?"

My friends also do not like the really lame jokes.

(this is from AD but also applies to DW and is, sadly enough, exactly the sort of thing I find hilarious)

Oh, and you know how I wrote Bad Wolf everywhere in hopes of freaking people out?

It worked.

Life= made.

What are your favourite shows, and why?

rollercoaster mania

My deep, dark confession for the week?

I'm secretly an addict.

A rollercoaster addict, that is. (Or a chocolate addict, but that's a whole other story that involves cupcakes baked at 8 am...)

This was such a well-guarded secret (or perhaps I was just in denial?) that I didn't discover it until last week, during my (last-ever!) end-of-year trip.

(this is some of us after we survived the biggest rollercoaster. Amazingly. I thought I was going to die)

Unfortunately, however, my group didn't even go on too many rollercoasters. As often happens when I am involved, we managed to get lost. (Although maybe that's the wrong term- let's call it 'disjointed wanderings' instead?) For this reason, instead of going on many different rides... we went on the swings three times.

But let's be honest here. Who doesn't love swings? (We definitely did- just watch us!)

With all this swinging, I didn't get a chance to take many photos- I was too busy trying not to pass out (and with that description, who wouldn't want to go on rollercoasters?)- but one of my friends did take a few while he was waiting for my other friend and I to go on this ride, as he had decided it was too 'childish'.

(I'm happy here because we hadn't yet started spinning. This soon changed)

He also had a conversation with himself between our phones. Really, I think coming on the ride with us would have been preferable... or maybe not, considering how sick and dizzy I felt afterwards. Spinny rides are officially Not For Me. (However, bumper cars are- a fact I also just discovered. My childhood was spent reading, not playing on these wonderful contraptions... how did I miss out?)

What do you think of amusement parks and rollercoasters? Any rides you'd never try?

nothing is cuter than cats

Yesterday, I discovered a new place to add to my list of "Tatiana's Ideal Volunteer Positions"- the SPCA.

Why?

All you have to do is pet cats!

Recently, I've felt a little bit superfluous. Witness my blood donating (which was accurate in this case too- witness all the scratches I recieved) and my library volunteering and my reading of classics- these might not world-shaking actions, but they're my contribution to society. I'd been thinking of volunteering more, and the SPCA is right near my school... so, I thought, why not?

Plus, I'm already a cat expert/future crazy cat lady, so I might as well share my expertise! This may seem like an idle boast but if you saw the number of cat books I read when I was little... (I even named all the cats on my posters. And cat pictures I saw in books. That is dedication.)

Regardless, when I showed up, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. At first I felt as thought I was cheating them (let's face it, as enjoyable as petting cats is, it's not the usual amount of work I associate with volunteering) but then I realised: it is my duty to help these cats NOT become like Darcy... aka: apt to run and hide from everyone, meowing constantly in a sad tone for no apparent reason, time-travelling aside. (This is a Serious Mission.)

...also they were just so cute and cuddly and omg how could anyone not want to play with them? (Kitten love!) I could literally feel my heart slowing down. (Which sounds vaguely corpselike... but I mean it in a good way.)  It was better than meditation! (Whenever I try to meditate I get distracted and usually start thinking about food. And then I make myself hungry and am even more distracted and just give up the entire endeavor.)

I can't even post photos because the cuteness quotient would be too overwhelming and I don't want your screen to explode

I did, however, feel sorry for the people who encountered me in my visit to the grocery store directly afterwards. I was so covered in fur that I could have been mistaken for a yeti... but don't worry, I tried to stay away from the produce. (People with cat allergies: I apologise.)

advice for my younger self

I looked at the calendar today, and realised: my last class of highschool is next week.

MIND. BLOWN.

Not to be cliché, but... time really did pass quickly. (Except for during many of my classes. I'm pretty sure I could have skipped them without too many regrets... If only I went to a school with more students, wherein my absence would not be noticed. Or at least one at which my mother didn't teach.)

However, looking back, I noticed quite a few things I'd change. Unfortunately, as I do not have a Tardis, they'll remain regrets... but I thought I'd compile a list of advice I'd give my eighth-grade self, before coming to high school. Just in case.

1. Breathe. Ask yourself, "Is this really such a big deal? Will I remember this in a couple of years?" The answer is usually Yes... Yes, you'll remember it because you stressed way too much about it. Just chill out. (Picture your older self wearing hippie glasses and waving a palm leaf... for some reason that's the image that comes to mind when I say chill out. Who knows why.)

2. You don't have to get along with everyone. You know those people you think are mildly annoying but you think you should talk to because they're in your class? Don't bother. You can make better friends elsewhere.

3. But on that note, do actually try to make friends. Books are lovely, but socialising is important too! Just pick people you actually have interests in common with.

4. You have the power to change things. Mostly, this means: pluck your eyebrows. It is a Big Issue in your life, and it's not a big deal to change them, so DO IT.

Or in a more deep way: the world is yours, so go get it.

5. ...but if you can't change it, walk away. You know all those situations you felt really uncomfortable in? You're allowed to leave. Don't think you have to stay somewhere just because everyone else is.

6. Trust yourself. If you think you're going to hate something, assume that you're right and don't do it. (I'm thinking of all the 'school-bonding' activities that I attended. I can't think of one I enjoyed, and yet I went to quite a few... seriously, just don't do it.)

7. You are likeable. Don't assume that you're entirely forgettable. You're worth more than that. (You probably don't believe me, and I don't really believe myself in typing it, but I'm hoping that it'll come true by repetition.)

8. Don't allow your mother to buy you uniform shirts. She will buy you the wrong size, and the result will be that you're miserable for over a year. (They don't shrink that much, and I didn't grow that much. I am not an elephant.)

9. Keep in contact. You know those people you met, and liked, and... never talked to again? Yeah. Send them a message! A letter! A text! It's not that hard, and it might be awkward at first, but really, what do you have to lose? (Confession: I am so bad at this. Still. Which is why I'm putting it down in writing.)

10. Exercise is your friend. You know how you always think you're too klutzy to go running/dancing/move in general? Well, the more you work on it, the better you'll get. (You'll probably still fall down quite a lot, but you'll do it gracefully.)

11. Don't study so much. My studying schedule went like this.
Grade 9: "OMG if I don't study this for hours I will fail and my life will be forever ruined omg must spend hours doing this"
Grade 10: "Hmm I should probably write an intense study guide. I can use it to review next year!"
Grade 11: "Okay, I'll review and rewrite some notes..."
Grade 12: "I don't understand this and I really don't care. I'll still pass and get good grades."

...and every year I did almost equally well. (This goes well with no. 1- just chill out. The only important grades are some grade 11 ones and some grade 12 ones anyway... so really my schedule should have been reversed. Whoops.)

12. Do your own thing. So what if other people think it's lame? You'll have way more fun.

I wish I really did have a time machine so I could send this back to who I used to be- I think it would come in handy. Plus, some of these (especially nos. 1 and 9) are still things I need to remember. What's some advice you'd give your younger self? Do you have any university advice for me?

bad wolf day

Just like Impossible Astronaut Day, today was another Doctor Who holiday! (Just another good reason to watch Doctor Who- you can participate in all these random activities and have something to look forward to on Mondays.) I don't want to provide too many spoilers, in case any of my posts are encouraging you to watch it (or maybe any time you see/hear Doctor Who, you immediately recoil in horror. Some of my friends do this. I'm not sure how we're still friends) but suffice it to say that 'Bad Wolf' were major arc words in season 1.

So, when I saw this, I was obviously thrilled!

A chance to weird out my fellow students? How could I resist? I wrote it on whiteboards...

on other random notes (for the uneducated, apparently "I Cereal You" is now the way cool kids say "I Love You"...?)...

...on training schedules...

on desks...

...and on Kleenex boxes.

Did anyone notice? Was anyone deeply disturbed by it? Maybe not, but I like to think so. (Or at least think they'll look it up, discover Doctor Who, and be hooked. You never know!)

And finally... there's just a couple more hours left for the S-Trip Scholarship! If you'd like to help me win trips and an internship, please tweet or comment on my submission.