welcome, grasshoppers

As I haven't been posting much lately, I thought you might need a re-introduction to me... in the form of a vlog!

Ok, so to be entirely honest... I made this at the beginning of June. But everything still applies!

And to be even more honest... (what's more than entirely? Totally? Totes?) the only reason I decided to make a vlog at that time was because I had just gotten a makeup application done and my eyes looked pretty. (Plus, the makeup artist told me my eyelashes were phenominal. Definitely a compliment to remember!)

I hope your summer is lovely so far, my dearest blog ninjas!

nerddddd

I've always known that I'm not the most exciting of people... but looking at my answers to the residence ranking quiz I had to fill out today confirmed this theory.

What do you like doing when you have free time? Reading... but I also like Doctor Who! And drinking tea! That's exciting right?

Would you like to have other people in your room? NO WAY. Stay at least a dragon-length away from me at all times.

How often do you clean your room? What do you mean by clean? Do you mean "stack clothes in a moderately tidy pile"? That I can do.

What do you expect your relationship with your roommate to be like? Um, as before, I expect them to stay away from me at all times and I'll do the same. Deal?

Do you have a problem with anyone using your belongings? If you ask me I'm okay with it... as long as you don't break my precious portrait of Aunt Gertrude, we'll get along fine.

What kind of sleeper are you? Early to bed, early to rise. So basically the opposite of everyone else on the planet.

In addition to these fascinating answers, I marked all the suite-style (like an apartment) residences with single rooms highest and the traditional-style (single room) ones lowest... aka please please please, oh residential spirits, take pity on me and DO NOT MAKE ME BE SOCIAL.

What was your rooming experience like? Any tips?

advice for my younger self

I looked at the calendar today, and realised: my last class of highschool is next week.

MIND. BLOWN.

Not to be cliché, but... time really did pass quickly. (Except for during many of my classes. I'm pretty sure I could have skipped them without too many regrets... If only I went to a school with more students, wherein my absence would not be noticed. Or at least one at which my mother didn't teach.)

However, looking back, I noticed quite a few things I'd change. Unfortunately, as I do not have a Tardis, they'll remain regrets... but I thought I'd compile a list of advice I'd give my eighth-grade self, before coming to high school. Just in case.

1. Breathe. Ask yourself, "Is this really such a big deal? Will I remember this in a couple of years?" The answer is usually Yes... Yes, you'll remember it because you stressed way too much about it. Just chill out. (Picture your older self wearing hippie glasses and waving a palm leaf... for some reason that's the image that comes to mind when I say chill out. Who knows why.)

2. You don't have to get along with everyone. You know those people you think are mildly annoying but you think you should talk to because they're in your class? Don't bother. You can make better friends elsewhere.

3. But on that note, do actually try to make friends. Books are lovely, but socialising is important too! Just pick people you actually have interests in common with.

4. You have the power to change things. Mostly, this means: pluck your eyebrows. It is a Big Issue in your life, and it's not a big deal to change them, so DO IT.

Or in a more deep way: the world is yours, so go get it.

5. ...but if you can't change it, walk away. You know all those situations you felt really uncomfortable in? You're allowed to leave. Don't think you have to stay somewhere just because everyone else is.

6. Trust yourself. If you think you're going to hate something, assume that you're right and don't do it. (I'm thinking of all the 'school-bonding' activities that I attended. I can't think of one I enjoyed, and yet I went to quite a few... seriously, just don't do it.)

7. You are likeable. Don't assume that you're entirely forgettable. You're worth more than that. (You probably don't believe me, and I don't really believe myself in typing it, but I'm hoping that it'll come true by repetition.)

8. Don't allow your mother to buy you uniform shirts. She will buy you the wrong size, and the result will be that you're miserable for over a year. (They don't shrink that much, and I didn't grow that much. I am not an elephant.)

9. Keep in contact. You know those people you met, and liked, and... never talked to again? Yeah. Send them a message! A letter! A text! It's not that hard, and it might be awkward at first, but really, what do you have to lose? (Confession: I am so bad at this. Still. Which is why I'm putting it down in writing.)

10. Exercise is your friend. You know how you always think you're too klutzy to go running/dancing/move in general? Well, the more you work on it, the better you'll get. (You'll probably still fall down quite a lot, but you'll do it gracefully.)

11. Don't study so much. My studying schedule went like this.
Grade 9: "OMG if I don't study this for hours I will fail and my life will be forever ruined omg must spend hours doing this"
Grade 10: "Hmm I should probably write an intense study guide. I can use it to review next year!"
Grade 11: "Okay, I'll review and rewrite some notes..."
Grade 12: "I don't understand this and I really don't care. I'll still pass and get good grades."

...and every year I did almost equally well. (This goes well with no. 1- just chill out. The only important grades are some grade 11 ones and some grade 12 ones anyway... so really my schedule should have been reversed. Whoops.)

12. Do your own thing. So what if other people think it's lame? You'll have way more fun.

I wish I really did have a time machine so I could send this back to who I used to be- I think it would come in handy. Plus, some of these (especially nos. 1 and 9) are still things I need to remember. What's some advice you'd give your younger self? Do you have any university advice for me?

book lover problems

It's a fairly innocuous question, right? "What are you reading?" It shouldn't be that hard to answer... but it is.

I'm serious. This is actually a problem in my life right now. (Okay, so I could just stop reading in public... but then I'd have to Talk To People, which is an even bigger problem.) I'm never quite sure how to answer it. For example, the other day I was reading Save Me The Waltz. When I...

a) answer in a generic manner, such as "Oh, it's a romance", people inevitably ask for more details. I'm never sure why this is, because no one ever reads the books I do unless I have previously forced them to... so they never know what I'm talking about... which leads me to

b) give a detailed synopsis, such as  "Oh, it's a romance set during the 1920s and it describes all the facets of their lives and how he drank too much and how she wanted to be a ballerina", people's eyes inevitably start to glaze over after a couple of seconds and they sidle away with pretexts such as washing their llama. (Which leads me to wonder why they even asked...)

c) compare it to another book, such as "It's similar to The Great Gatsby!", people either don't know that book, so then I have to explain it too (it's a vicious cycle!) or, if they do know it, ask "How?" and I, being already frazzled by the resulting stress of choosing one of these answers, can't quite remember why I chose to compare it.

Sometimes by the time I've decided which tactic to choose, the conversation has already moved on and all my hard work was wasted. (However, at least this means I have less of a chance of making a fool of myself... so, again, pros and cons.) It's even worse when someone I don't know well asks me this, because then I also have to wonder: "Are we going to be friends? If so, I should probably moderate what I say now..." (And not confess my shameful obsession with Georgette Heyer's Regency romances...)

How do you answer this? (Or do you just not read?)

On a slightly similar note (the Tatiana-Wants-To-Avoid-People note) this is my current manifesto song.

This will sound like a typical Teenager Statement, but I really like most of Mother Mother's songs- the lyrics really Speak To My Soul. (I'm both parodying myself and being entirely serious.) Have you found any bands like that lately?

However, I love you all, especially those of you who have helped me with my S-Trip Scholarship. Thank you so much! For those of you who still want to help by supporting, commenting or tweeting, you still have a few days left.

Happy Thursday, blog ninjas!

weekend statistics

As you may know, over the weekend I was at "les Jeux Franco"... which are basically an excuse for a ton of students (all the cool people! and me) to go to workshops, be completely crazy, and hang out with a ton of students from all over the province! In order to explain my experience, I thought I'd use... statistics? (Math is totally important in my life okay.) 

As we arrived...

Number of people attending: about 650

(thumbs up for speaking French!)

Number of hours I spent in misery (aka on the bus): 2 1/2 (okay so I complain a lot. Basically the sole reason I'm happy my mother works at my school is because it means I can just get a ride from her...) 

During the weekend...

Number of lines I waited in: 15 (no exaggeration. There were A LOT of lines.) 

Number of super awkward conversations I had with people I had just met: 7 (considering I was there for 3 1/2 days, I consider this a low number and am accordingly proud) 

Number of Doctor Who fans I discovered: 5 (I found my people! Also, looking at my Facebook wall, I realised that almost everything there has to do with it. I am not subtle about my obsessions.) 

Number of times I drank tea: 0 (do you know how deprived I was?) 

(however, since I'd made a friend from the town, I did get an Ice Capp during the final show... a good reason to be social!)

Number of times I heard, "What? You're graduating? I thought you were in grade nine!": 12 (thanks world, love you too)

Number of times I fell over while practicing our dance routine (yes, I was in dance, don't laugh): 4 (thankfully none of these were during our big finale!)

(we won for best team spirit! we also didn't really have time to do makeup, so excuse the football stripes)

As we were leaving..

Percentage of people who were crying: 50 (not me) 

Number of random people I didn't know who hugged me: 5 (and no, this is not just people-I-did-not-recognise, these were literally people who I had never seen before...) 

Number of times a bus other than mine was called and I freaked out because I thought it was mine and they had left without me: 8 (there were a lot of buses)

And finally:

Number of times I laughed, made friends, and generally had fun: too many to count! 

How was your weekend? Did you ever do camps like this in highschool? 

the problems I (of my) face

Some days, you just realise that a thousand tiny annoyances are following you around like biting flies. (Which are a trial all on their own. Why do they exist? Shouldn't our blood have evolved to be poisonous yet?) Here are some of the things that have been bothering me lately. 

-My pores. There are so many words to describe them right now, and none of them are pretty. (Some of them even begin with p for added alliterative appeal!) Let's say... pestilential, puffy, pustulous... I think you get the idea. To conceal them, I applied a mud face mask... 

...and wore it all day to school.

Okay, not really.

But I wanted to. It would have been prettier than the reality.

-The weather. For a week, it was glorious and hot and summer and I just lolled about eating smoothies. Now it is raining and feels like summer's already over. Can't we at least have a thunderstorm? 

-My shirt. I love this shirt so much.

(source)

Mine is even more beautiful because it's a gorgeous, deep ocean blue! I just want to wear it everywhere and with every possible combination of the rest of my wardrobe. Last night I had a mini fashion show- very mini, because I was both sole model and sole audience member- and tried it on with almost all my bottoms (okay that sounds like I have different butt sizes to try it with but you get the idea right?) and it totally worked. Literature is a magical force...but I can't wear it all the time. So sad. (Although, if I did, the smell might begin to repel people after a while... hmmm... ways to be antisocial are always appreciated...)

-The ending of I Capture the Castle. This is one of my favourite books... but the ending has always saddened me. (No spoilers, I promise!) Usually, I'm fairly good at inventing alternate stories for characters I think have been cheated (I spend far too much time lost within the pages of books not to!) but I've read this one far too many times to change its story.

(source)

Just read it. Or watch it. Then we can have a deep discussion about it and I can cry. (Too many feels okay.)

-I'm choking. There has been an Advil capsule stuck in my throat since LAST NIGHT. How has it not dissolved yet? Can someone please explain this? All day, every time I swallowed something, I could feel it blocking my nutritional passageways. (Yes. That is a scientific term. Just accept it, as we say in Chemistry whenever we don't understand something.)

...and, just to cap it all off:  

(source)

(Garfield, you and I are soulmates.) What have some of your problems been lately? 

yes. I am actually leaving.

Reason #149 that I fail at life: I am unable to wave at people without looking like I am a) having a seizure or b) actually not human, but some giant whale creature that just discovered arms. (Either one works. Whichever is more evocative in your mind.) Aka, today I frightened one of my former coworkers so much that she nearly fell off a bridge...

But. This post is (amazingly) not about my enduring social awkwardness. A little while ago, I posted about how I really needed to get myself in gear (because I'm a bike? Or a car? That expression doesn't even make sense) and actually choose a university. (Sign you are a procrastinator: you get accepted to the university of your choice at the beginning of December and don't accept until the end of April... true story.)

However, I am pleased to announce that today, I finally accepted University of Waterloo: Arts & Business. (Yes. Future entrepreneur here. HAHAHA) Keep your eyes peeled (now this expression crosses straight through "nonsensical" and goes to "disgusting and grape-like") for the girl with the kitty ears and the dazed expression.

(I don't even know what this building is. We just saw a sign and went for the photo op)

(obviously the fact that I saw this gum stain in the shaoe of a head played a part in my deciding to go there)

I toured it over the summer (and didn't even post about it! You poor souls missed out!) and, needless to say, I loved it. Despite the lack of David's Tea and Sephora in the environs (yes, this is what I first consider, the proximity of shopping) I think we'll deal quite nicely. I'm most looking forward to the long discussions about literature... if no one's willing to have them with me, I will forcibly kidnap them. (Just kidding! Mostly!)

Watch out Waterloo... here I come.

(ok so this is my friend and not me but you get the point, we're both creepers)

(aka, I will probably trip and fall into many people...  And frighten them with my waving... And antagonise others by constantly talking about Doctor Who... are you still sure you want me?)

the trials and tribulations of library stalking

...or, more accurately, What Not to Do when trying to creep someone at the library. (Come on now. I'm sure you've all done this. Or wanted to do this. Close enough...) No worries, I'm here to help!

1- Giggling is not subtle. No but really.

2- Hope that your target is sitting in a well-populated area... and not in the most awkward spot beside the dictionaries. I mean really, why sit there anyway? Don't you know that people might want to come... -coughcough- investigate you? Cut me some slack here.

3- If you want a subtle phone, do not get a Blackberry. I love my phone, but I must admit that the keys are a little loud, and therefore not conducive to silent stalking. (Or silent usage while in class. These are important things to keep in mind!) In this respect (and this respect only!) touch-screens are preferable.

4- Hope that your target is sitting near interesting books. The aforementioned dictionaries do not make for good 'Oh, yes, I'm fascinated by this book and I'm totally staring at it and not your head' material. Nor do books such as "Our Aging Problem: how to take care of your elderly parents" or "Fortune 500: the revised list!" Try to apply no. 1 while looking at those titles, I dare you. (To say nothing of the sex manuals that were also lying nearby... Yes, I am that immature.)

5- Have a friend nearby. This way, if all else fails, you can run up to them and pretend that you were looking for them The Entire Time. "Omg, you've lost so much weight that I thought you were hiding in the shelf!" Convincing, right?

...or you could just wait to run into the target while walking down the stairs. That also works.

sugar and spice and everything nice

It is my cherished belief that you are never the wrong age to:
a) wear pretty dresses
b) drink tea
c) have a birthday party.

That's why, this past weekend, I combined all three! (My guests were ordered to come wearing dresses en lieu of the usual gift-bearing... okay no I just like ordering them around, no trade-off involved cause you know, presents!)

just to show how cold our house is... my poor guests needed to wrap up well

omg tea. there are no words.

also, food. isn't everything so tiny and pretty?

we headed upstairs for a photo shoot, and Tilney finally got some love

see? I'm not the only one who loves hats!

Cécile and I are spies, while Kori is our obliviously happy spy-ee? 

Bronwynne is also part of our amazing spy cult, watch out

...while Anna just likes frogs (there were probably 20 photos similar to this one)

after so much exertion, more food was necessary before Tamara ate our heads off (or Cécile's spun all the way off...)

there were fights over who got to eat... the pickles? 

OMG LISTS... let's just say my friends know me well. 

 this bag was also a contested favourite... I wouldn't be surprised if my basement was raided later

snow angels are equally ageless!

...although I personally don't see the appeal of sitting on the road

The next section of the evening was free of photographic evidence... but let's just say it involved more food, and more screaming. (AKA: we watched a horror movie. That is, some people watched a horror movie. I fell asleep, so obviously it could not have been that traumatizing...) 

note that I am alone here because no one else wanted to show off their gorgeous mask

seriously I don't understand why

...and that was that! (Apologies for the lack of text in this post- I'm currently in the midst of packing for France (confession: you can barely see my floor under the mountains of clothes) and my creative inspiration is therefore running a bit dry... being entirely devoted to figuring out gorgeous outfits!)

Thank you to all who attended... and to the chefs (/cult/parents) who made such a lovely spread possible! (and ensured that no one's head was eaten... I truly was worried at some points!) Do you still have birthday parties? What about tea parties? 

the trauma that is... milk?

Okay, so maybe not quite. It wasn't just the milk. (Although one of my most traumatizing memories is of the time when my parents forced me to drink An. Entire. Glass. The tears that ensued...) It was more... the tables of naked women? 

Have you guessed what I'm talking about yet?

A Clockwork Orange, of course!

Looks appealing, right? Erika and I had heard that it was "a classic"- who decides these things, anyway? Is it completely arbitrary?- so we decided to watch it...

"Is this really happening?" was the most frequently question asked. (If any of you have seen it, you probably know what I'm talking about.) From the very beginning (CREEPY STARE- had I ever desired to wear false eyelashes, I most certainly no longer do- he did have pretty blue eyes though. How is that fair?) to the ending (carnage and rape and pillage, oh my!) it was chaotic and confusing...

and also strangely lovely.

Although I might not agree with every(any)thing that happened in it, it was definitely chock-filled to the brim (yay for mixing metaphors) with symbolism and imagery. The director did a wonderful job portraying an corrupt society (although I could have done without the rather phallic art) and the insanity of it all was quite compelling. 

One thing I know for sure: I will never listen to Singin' in the Rain quite the same way. 

Have you seen it? Do you have any movies that you feel this way about?

sunny day confessions

It's actually gorgeous outside today, so this title isn't wishful thinking!

-It still feels bizarre to be blogging under my real name... but I like it.

-Even more bizarre? I am incapable of pronouncing my own name. I love hearing other people say it, but the way I say it just sounds stilted. (This makes introducing myself difficult...)

-Older ladies often tell me I'm gorgeous but I rarely hear this from people my own age. This confirms my suspicion that I was born in the wrong age.

-Even my mother has now accepted I will be a Crazy Cat Lady... just look at what she gave me for Valentine's Day!

(Hint: it wasn't the clothes... Also, apology for the slightly creepy smile, blame it on the awkward changeroom lighting!)

-The thought of prom is a bit dispiriting right now. Everyone's talking about their dresses, dates, etc, and all I can think is a) I have no idea where to look for my dress b) I'm probably going to be the only one without a date (in a graduating class of ten people, this is not an exaggeration) and c) what if, when I find my dress, it doesn't fit?


-This weekend is going to be a total Chocolate/Junk In General Overload... but whatever, it's so delicious and it's just one weekend, right? (Except it's three days instead of two... oh well, living in a chocolate buzz makes the extra calories worth it!) (Hm... maybe this is why I have no prom date? And why I worry about fitting into a dress? Shhhh)

-I'm scared of putting gas into the van by myself. I'm worried that, just as I put in the nozzle, someone will leap out and kidnap me.

-I'm addicted to this line of body products.

They all smell absolutely luscious- like candied fruit and dessert and everything nice- and I can't stop using them! (Thank you once again, Mum and Sephora.)

What do you have to confess?

dancing up a storm

Ah, highschool dances. Also known as "the misnamed event wherein no one actually dances, but stands around awkwardly bopping their heads and pretending that they're not too embarassed to dance."

Other than Kori and I, of course. We flung ourselves into the middle of the dance floor and... flailed?

Okay, that was just me. There is no false modesty involved when I say I can't dance. Some moves I tried to coin yesterday were named "The Jellyfish" (waving my arms like tentacles in front of me while jumping from side to side) and "The Octopus" (...pretty similar). There was also quite a bit of tripping involved- my knees are now black and blue. (I consider it a war wound in the service of Fun.)

Unfortunately, I didn't manage to get any photos (blame Kori, who refused to pose with me) so you'll just have to imagine my thrashing- but at least I have one glamourous bathroom mirror shot.

(Isn't that toilet in the background lovely? Actually, maybe it's a good thing- it makes me look extra gorgeous in comparison!) As you can tell, I maybe like purple a little bit. This was a perfect dancing skirt- it swirled and dipped and made even my most awkward moves look elegant. (I was also told that I made everything I did look princess-y. I would be flattered by this, but the bemused tone and snicker that accompanied it made  it a dubious compliment.)

I'm sure you're all dying to know: Did my flailing attract anyone? Did I meet any cute boys on Valentine's Day? The answer is... drumrolll.... no. (I didn't even end up going to the doctor's- I had to work.) However, my principal did give me a piece of fudge, so... there's that consolation. Really, chocolate makes everything better... in part because I need to go work out after, and exercise makes everything better too! It's like a double punch!

And my third consolation: At least I have Taylor Swift sing-alongs with my spare mates. However, watch out: when you start singing Miley Cyrus, this is what happens:

You fall off your chair and hit your head. KARMA, I'm telling you!

Oh, and just remember... in case you ever feel there's no chivalry in the world...

Happy weekend, ninjas!

sometimes I amaze myself- or, Ethel

I've decided to name the intensely awkward part of my personality Ethel, so that it/she gets the hint that it/she is not welcome. (Apologies if your name is Ethel, but it's not a name of which I've ever been fond.) Perhaps that way, I'll be able to prevent days like yesterday, in which my amazing inability at dealing with people astounded even me.

First, a sample conversation:

Me: how come some people can just deal with others? Like, what's wrong with us?
Jesse: it's called confidence, omg, where can I download that?
Me: maybe there's a book somewhere?

This was immediately before heading off to lunch at Cécile's ENORMOUS school. (Okay, so there's like a thousand people. It just seems like a lot because an unfair proportion of that number is composed of attractive boys and they don't have an ugly uniform.) I was so overwhelmed by all these people that I was unable to open the door.

I tried like six times, but it was just not happening. People were starting to get impatient behind me. Thankfully, there was another door, so I managed to sneak out behind someone else and pretend that it wasn't my fault that there was now a blockage in the hallway.

Secondly, I sang on my way to work. This is a daily occurence. However, I also decided to incorporate dancing at the intersection. (Blame the One Direction.) I was getting really into it when I turned around and realised that everyone driving in the opposite direction was pausing and laughing. One man in particular gave me a kindly look- so at least I made his day?

Finally, I had the most awkward work conversation of my life with a classmate's (possible? identity as yet unconfirmed) mother. I was going to post a transcript, but I came off as such an airhead (yes. Even more than usual. Hard to believe, I know) that I decided not to expose you to such cringe-worthyness.

...okay, so it was funny. (Maybe not for my classmate's mother, who's probably still wondering how such a confused person got a job. Let's just hope she had no idea who I was.) But still.  I can only hope that I will one day be able to eradicate Ethel.

a hairbreadth of happiness (or, work)

I complain about work all the time, but sometimes there are just little things that make me smile and brighten my day, so I thought, for once, I'd share those instead! (And wow, long and ungrammatical sentence alert. Obviously today's writing club didn't do me any favours.)

• the little girl who said to her grandma, looking at me, "Oh, that girl is so pretty!"
• when an actual good song plays on the radio (mostly it sucks)
• the joy I feel when I go shopping and realise I'm not the one trapped behind the counter (muahaha)
• the cute boy who watched me (in a non-Edward-Cullen way) and smiled at me the entire time 
• the little girl (couldn't have been older than three) who complimented me on my makeup and noted that my nails matched (which I hadn't even noticed- future stylist to the stars?) 
• an excited explanation of hockey (someone had walked in wearing a jersey and my current customer explained who the player was)
• joking with my coworkers
• when I put away the hangers correctly and don't spill them on the floor (shh. It's the little things.)
• the older ladies who tell me about their cats 
• the feeling I get when I look at my bank account (MONEY)

And best of all... the thought that I have less than two months left. (Insert happy dance here.) 

On another, slightly related note, in my last post I mentioned that teenage years didn't seem to be too thrilling so far.
I didn't intend for this to sound as though I was unhappy- far from it. I'm lucky in so many ways; my family situation (when the worst memory of your parents you have is of being forced to drink a glass of milk, you're pretty sheltered), my friends, my cats... (who, apparently, didn't steal my USB- it was in my pyjama pocket. Why do pj pockets exist, anyway? It seems like you're guaranteed simply to lose things in them...)

I'm just bored; sick of slow nights at work, sick of classes that I'm taking only to get a credit, sick of being in those classes with the same people I've known for years. Simply put, I'm craving change. (Unfortunately, new clothes don't quite seem to cut it, especially since I have a uniform- nor does different dessert, mainly because I'm too lazy to bake anything.)

Finally, on a completely unrelated note: TV shows are starting again! Unfortunately, this aligns perfectly with 'exam time is starting again'... at least I've already been accepted to university, so no need to worry!

(...I'm joking.)
(Mostly.)

in which we are models

Never underestimate the joys of a good photo shoot. Note that I said 'good'. In the same way, you must never underestimate the pain caused by a bad one. What could be worse than reviewing the hundreds of photos you so carefully posed for, and realising that you look like a stuffed alligator in every single one?

First: the cast of characters. Cécile, who let us invade her home and demonstrated the joys of record players. Kori, who brought hilarious movies and impressed us with her scrambled-egg stirring. And I, the short one. (Seriously. They're both like 4 inches taller than me.) 

Theories about this pose:
1) Kori has a dark soul
2) Kori is secretly a bird of prey
3) Kori wants to show off her hair
Any other ideas?

I was nearly strangled trying to get out of this dress. Moral of the story: when it takes you fifteen minutes to put on a dress, it is too tight and you might die. (This is why I'm glad not to live in the age of corsets.)

A future as can-can dancers? I think so!

After our photo shoot, we retreated to the kitchen to bake! (We had to do it after so we'd still manage to fit in the dresses!) One of the many reasons Cécile is amazing: she has snail cookie cutters. (As well as foxes and porcupines and hedgehogs, oh my!)

And cool aprons. (How could I not be friends with this girl?)

However, neither of them were brave enough to make snow angels with me. (However, this may be understandable, given that we had just left the hot tub and were wearing only bathing suits... there is a line between adventurous and foolhardy which I may have crossed, especially since my entire body was burning as though I'd been dunked in acid afterwards.) 

I did not include the photos in which I/Kori/Cécile appeared cross-eyed, out of (sheer vanity) respect for our future children; I doubt they want to see their mother plastered over the Internet and decried as a lunatic... oh wait, too late, I have a blog don't I? Ah well. At least I tried. (These are namely the ones of us wearing a pastel blue, shiny jumpsuit straight from the seventies. Much as I love Doctor Who, there are some times that don't need to be revisited.)

On a completely unrelated note, I just finished reading Let's Pretend This Never Happened by The Bloggess... GO READ IT RIGHT NOW. If you've read her blog, then it's the perfect continuation. If you haven't, shame on you and go read that too. (This loser didn't... but she was kind enough to lend me the book, so I decided that I would indeed help her in the off chance that her dog needed to be disinterred. If you don't understand the reference... just read it.)

Happy Saturday dearest ninjas!

my first tea review/vlog

Here begins my journey into the world of vlogging and tea reviews! (Okay, you probably got that from the title... still.) A big thank you to Jesse for giving me the idea!

Thoughts:

1) I wanted to cut it but had no video editing software... I apologise for the length and the random moments of confusion.
2) It wouldn't me change the thumbnail. What is up with the picture it chose? I look like a constipated cow or something...
3) There's this huge delay between my voice and my actions... I'm not actually that spastic.
4) Ok, I had more but now I can't remember what they were so never mind.

What did you think of it? Any suggestions or comments?

ALSO: I now reply to comments via email (... usually about three weeks later...) unless you're a non-reply blogger, in which case I will reply on my blog. (Just a little head's up.)

how is this even dancing?

Last night, I went with a few people from my school to a dance. Now, as I've mentioned before, my school is SMALL. Everyone knows each other. We're all basically, if not friends, able to hang out peaceably without punching each other in the face. (Ok, so there are some people I would LOVE to do this to... but I am a nice person, so I resist. However, if she comments on my fashion sense one more time...)

This friendliness also means that our dances are pretty tame. (Well, only about twenty people come, so what can you expect?) However, when we walked into this dance, my eyes nearly popped out of my sockets. EVERYONE was grinding.

I just don't understand this. It's like, whoa. I don't even know your name, so why are you attempting to rub your junk in my trunk? GET AWAY FROM ME, FREAK. I am not that kind of girl.

If this has ever happened to you, this video might be helpful:

Or you could try my friend's plan, which was

1.       Smile innocently.

2.       Dance in the other direction.

3.       Elbow the offender in the face.

Has anyone else experienced this? What did you do? (Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's actually super enjoyable. If so, please clarify this.)