sometimes I amaze myself- or, Ethel

I've decided to name the intensely awkward part of my personality Ethel, so that it/she gets the hint that it/she is not welcome. (Apologies if your name is Ethel, but it's not a name of which I've ever been fond.) Perhaps that way, I'll be able to prevent days like yesterday, in which my amazing inability at dealing with people astounded even me.

First, a sample conversation:

Me: how come some people can just deal with others? Like, what's wrong with us?
Jesse: it's called confidence, omg, where can I download that?
Me: maybe there's a book somewhere?

This was immediately before heading off to lunch at Cécile's ENORMOUS school. (Okay, so there's like a thousand people. It just seems like a lot because an unfair proportion of that number is composed of attractive boys and they don't have an ugly uniform.) I was so overwhelmed by all these people that I was unable to open the door.

I tried like six times, but it was just not happening. People were starting to get impatient behind me. Thankfully, there was another door, so I managed to sneak out behind someone else and pretend that it wasn't my fault that there was now a blockage in the hallway.

Secondly, I sang on my way to work. This is a daily occurence. However, I also decided to incorporate dancing at the intersection. (Blame the One Direction.) I was getting really into it when I turned around and realised that everyone driving in the opposite direction was pausing and laughing. One man in particular gave me a kindly look- so at least I made his day?

Finally, I had the most awkward work conversation of my life with a classmate's (possible? identity as yet unconfirmed) mother. I was going to post a transcript, but I came off as such an airhead (yes. Even more than usual. Hard to believe, I know) that I decided not to expose you to such cringe-worthyness.

...okay, so it was funny. (Maybe not for my classmate's mother, who's probably still wondering how such a confused person got a job. Let's just hope she had no idea who I was.) But still.  I can only hope that I will one day be able to eradicate Ethel.

a hairbreadth of happiness (or, work)

I complain about work all the time, but sometimes there are just little things that make me smile and brighten my day, so I thought, for once, I'd share those instead! (And wow, long and ungrammatical sentence alert. Obviously today's writing club didn't do me any favours.)

• the little girl who said to her grandma, looking at me, "Oh, that girl is so pretty!"
• when an actual good song plays on the radio (mostly it sucks)
• the joy I feel when I go shopping and realise I'm not the one trapped behind the counter (muahaha)
• the cute boy who watched me (in a non-Edward-Cullen way) and smiled at me the entire time 
• the little girl (couldn't have been older than three) who complimented me on my makeup and noted that my nails matched (which I hadn't even noticed- future stylist to the stars?) 
• an excited explanation of hockey (someone had walked in wearing a jersey and my current customer explained who the player was)
• joking with my coworkers
• when I put away the hangers correctly and don't spill them on the floor (shh. It's the little things.)
• the older ladies who tell me about their cats 
• the feeling I get when I look at my bank account (MONEY)

And best of all... the thought that I have less than two months left. (Insert happy dance here.) 

On another, slightly related note, in my last post I mentioned that teenage years didn't seem to be too thrilling so far.
I didn't intend for this to sound as though I was unhappy- far from it. I'm lucky in so many ways; my family situation (when the worst memory of your parents you have is of being forced to drink a glass of milk, you're pretty sheltered), my friends, my cats... (who, apparently, didn't steal my USB- it was in my pyjama pocket. Why do pj pockets exist, anyway? It seems like you're guaranteed simply to lose things in them...)

I'm just bored; sick of slow nights at work, sick of classes that I'm taking only to get a credit, sick of being in those classes with the same people I've known for years. Simply put, I'm craving change. (Unfortunately, new clothes don't quite seem to cut it, especially since I have a uniform- nor does different dessert, mainly because I'm too lazy to bake anything.)

Finally, on a completely unrelated note: TV shows are starting again! Unfortunately, this aligns perfectly with 'exam time is starting again'... at least I've already been accepted to university, so no need to worry!

(...I'm joking.)
(Mostly.)

hold me tight and let it snow

This post will be an exercise in speedwriting- we're waiting for our dinner guests to arrive! (As always. I can't remember a Christmas Eve they weren't at least an hour late- once we ate without them... yet we love them anyways.) It may also be slightly incoherent- I am absolutely famished. (For some reason work makes me hungry. It must be the effort of being polite. And yes, I worked on Christmas Eve... sadness)

So, last Friday... I mentioned I was snowed in. YES. This means... that there was snow! Legit snow! And there still is! My life is made. If nothing else had happened over the holidays I would have been content. (But stuff did... so I am over the moon.)

So, what do I decide to do in a snowstorm? Walk to Starbucks. One of my friends owed me a hot chocolate (I gave him my wonderful mirrored sunglasses- seems like a fair trade, right?) and we thought, oh, it's not too bad out... let's go!

Hahaha. Right.

We were soaked within five minutes of our walk. We were pounded by wind and ice pellets. And, believe it or not, it was lovely. We debated running away on the train, but decided that our remaining five cents- Starbucks is expensive!- wouldn't get us far enough.

Aren't we pretty?

(And so was his hair after our trip.

Doesn't he look like Edward Cullen? I looked like Medusa... reason there are no photos of me!)

Then, what did I find when I arrived home but... a package from Jesse! Video to come- a response to his, although I don't know if it'll be quite as good (cause omg that was pretty sweet) so I won't reveal too much... but let me just say, if I ever decide to get a tattoo, it might look something like this!

(Hahaha no. But I do like the placement! This was my happiness touchstone during work... I just looked at it and reminded myself that people do love me and that I am not the reason for the downfall of the world, as some irate shoppers seemed to think.)

At the risk of sounding cheesy and cliché... I love my friends and family. I believe myself to be amongst the luckiest people on Earth because really, they are all wonderful. I laugh with them, cry with them, steal their food and smack them. (But not too hard because they probably all have better reflexes.) I don't know why they love me, but for some reason they do... and I am absolutely blessed. My wish for you: that you can be as lucky as I am.

Happy holidays, lovely ninjas, and may all your wishes come true.

realities of my life

1) There is still no snow. (This deserves a sad post all on its own... but with the number of times I've ranted about it, I think I'll abstain for your sanity.) Seriously, this is Canada. In December. Did the sky not get the memo?

2) I am still socially awkward. Example of a conversation I had today with one of my coworkers:
Me: wait, so... that girl... what's her name... she was here like three seconds ago?
Him: -confused silence-
Me: you know, she's blonde? And works here?
Him: -still looking weirded out- Victoria?
Me: yeah! Her! and... yeah... I can't remember the rest now... sorry, that was kinda pointless...
Him: -shakes head and walks away-

...what can I say, it takes time for me to grow on people. (Somewhat like moss.)

3) I can now drive! As in... by myself... WATCH OUT WORLD! (Actually, I'm not a bad driver. Just not skilled at parking. Or three-point turns. However, I do drive a huge van- think Mystery Machine, but less cool- so on the plus side, if I ever drive a car, I'll be amazingly skilled... or I'll just over-judge and run into more things... Hmm.)

4) Whine whine moan moan, I work too much.

5) I know there were other things I wanted to blog about, but I can't remember what they were. (This happens often. Is this a problem for anyone else?)

6) After seeing me with my enlarged cheeks and lost-a-fight bruises, my supervisor decided to refer to me as 'chipmunk", "rotten fruit", "unripe tomato" and "banana". All my self-esteem has now disappeared -sob- (Haha, kidding, it was actually pretty funny... and at least I've recovered now!)

7) I've been accepted at a university! (What were they thinking, right?) So basically... I'm assured of NOT being stuck here for another year! (Yes, that was the first thing that came to mind when I opened the email... a little sad.)

So that was my life, in a list! (Everything is better in list form. It's a fact.) How was your week?

at least I'm not the only one

It is a relief to know that, even without me driving, we have bad luck with cars. For example: last night, we blew a tire.

On the highway.

On my way to work.

(Doesn't that just add so much more impact like that? Or is that just in my imagination? Let me know.) Well, at least no one can say I'm not a dedicated employee. I SPRINTED from the highway exit. In general cases, that wouldn't actually be a problem (it's not that far, and I'm not in that bad a shape) but in my wheezy, germy state, I was huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf.

And did I get any sympathy from my coworkers? Course not. They all laughed. My supervisor oh-so-helpfully pointed out, "Why didn't you just call?"

...totally didn't think of that.

In other work-related news, it's beginning to be busier for the Christmas season and so I am no longer quite as bored! However, unfortunately for my waistline, everyone seems to be buying chocolate. (One of my friends recently told me, "It's like you're some chubby kid who sits in front of her computer and eats all day." Love you too, Erika! And I would just like to clarify that is not the case: it's just most of the day.) I mean really though, after watching 50 people go through my cash with chocolate and then having to tidy that area, all I want to do is eat. Show some consideration, peeps! (In the same vein, please refrain from showing up at my cash with 63 items 6 minutes before we close, then asking me to price-check every single one. I mean seriously.)

The worst part of all this? We still have no snow -sob- I think I need to move to the Yukon when I'm older... (Does this have anything to do with work? Not in the slightest. I just like complaining.)

Actually, that's not true. The worst part is that tomorrow, I get my wisdom teeth out... therefore, if there are no longer any posts on this blog, assume that I have died and been reincarnated as something that does not have fingers to type. (I'm hoping for a kitten or a platypus... OMG NO, a penguin! Then I can play in the snow all year round! Although I would have to eat raw fish... hmm, the jury's out on that one.) How has your week been going? Any exciting plans of that genre?

the highlights of my days

As usual, I worked both days this weekend. Also as usual, the store was pretty much empty... So, to while away the hours, I decided to make a list of my oh-so-exciting experiences! (Just in case your job is as boring as mine, and you need some ideas. Feel free to contribute in the comments!)

• Rearrange flyers until perfectly straight.
• Sing along with the radio.
• Stretch. 
• Stare blankly through the empty store.
• Chat with coworkers (if friendly).
• Yawn.
• Dance spastically (if appropriate music).
• Drink lots of water.
• Immediately regret drinking water, since need to pee. 
• SQUATS! 
• Stop after five because my legs hurt. 
• Write blog posts.
• Get yelled at (depending on supervisor).
• Resolve to be more surrepticious. 
• OMG A CUSTOMER! Check through their item. (Or three, if I'm really lucky.)
• Answer their questions, which generally take these forms: 

1) Is this store closing? (Yes, it said so in the newspaper.)
2) When is it closing? (Same as above.)
3) Can I still use my rewards points? (Yes, as it says ON THE CARD ITSELF.)

• Sometimes, if my luck is THROUGH THE ROOF, they'll add in a story about their experiences here! Depending on my level of boredom, sometimes I am even interested.
• REPEAT. 

Literally, this is my day. Sometimes, but again only if I'm really lucky, I get to go put away discarded items. (And that's truly a highlight.) 

Actually, though, the highlight yesterday was of quite a different kind. Someone bought... this.

This is... a shirt?

And these... are pants?

And here is the entire "outfit" in all its glory!

...I nearly died laughing. Literally, how can someone actually buy this and think, ok, this is cute? DOES NOT COMPUTE.

being a cashier has taught me...

Happy Wednesday, dearest readers! Is anyone else as tired as I am? I can't wait to go home and sleep.... (I'm currently trapped at school, as is too often the case.) My days lately have been divided between classes and cashiering (is that a word? Spellcheck isn't marking it as wrong, so maybe so! However, once I wrote 'speculate' and spellcheck told me that what I really wanted to say was 'semen'... so I wouldn't put too much faith in it.) Since I've been working so much lately, I've learnt a few things about being a cashier, and I thought I'd share some of my wisdom with all of you!

-Trust me, we don't want to chat. (Or maybe I'm just antisocial. That's possible too.) The number of times I have to chat about the weather... To be brutally honest, I have no interest in your life.

-It's my job to ask you if you have a rewards card, and trust me, I'm just as sick of it as you are. (So don't look at me as though I ate your child.)

-I'm a teenager. My brain is fed on emo music and Vampire Diaries, so don't expect me to know that Visa and Mastercard are credit cards. Just tell me!

-Snarking at me is absolutely useless and will in fact make me want to work slower and help you less.

-You have one item. In plastic packaging. It's sunny outside. Do you really need a bag?

-Don't give me that weird look. If you'd been standing here for three hours, you'd be doing squats and stretches too. (Actually, this one might just be me... I have yet to see any of my co-workers doing this.)

What are some things your job has taught you? For your sake, I'm just hoping it's more exciting than mine!

Also: YAY I designed a new banner! (And it only took me about three hours to put it up. Yes I am technologically challenged, thanks.) What do you think of it?

catching up

Good afternoon dearest listeners! (Side note: I always put a salutation, I've realised. Is this necessary? I don't know... it just seems empty without it somehow.) I have returned from my university road trip, and aside from an excessively sore bottom, am none the worse for wear. (A longer post will be dedicated to it later... it was actually super fun as well as being educational, and what's better than that?!)  Until then, here are the photos for the days I missed! (Obviously I am not meant to do challenges like this... it's kind of a fail. Sorry.)

17/18- My happy place and my favourite store

Okay, so I had to combine these two.. because I couldn't decide which place made me happier. (I am a total material girl. I freely admit it.) Sephora: MAKEUP. Indigo: BOOKS. Really, if someone started a store that combined these two things, I would love you forever. (My new life goal? Hmmmm...) Which one do you prefer?

19/20- Outfit/Reflection

I combined these two as well... because you get to see my gorgeous work clothes! (The worst part is the fact that my shirt is more flattering than my uniform shirt... which I return to wearing NEXT WEEK, I might die...) I've been spending quite a lot of time in this glamourous outfit recently, I'm both pleased and saddened to say. Pleased: MONEY! work experience! Saddened: soul-crushing boredom. Ah well, can't have everything, right?

21- Favourite object

lh;ihaef;gfd OMG, this wasn't hard. I am rapidly becoming a total cellphone addict... it's not even funny... the worst part is that I keep thinking I've lost it, then I have a minor heart attack. Case in point: I was talking to my father on it, then thought, wait a second, my phone isn't in my pocket. WHERE IS IT? This persisted for several minutes before I realised... wait, it's in my hand. (In my defence, I had previously spent eight hours in the car. Road trips turn my brain into green, scrambled eggs.)

And Little Amber- not a favourite OBJECT, in case anyone was wondering. He/she is far too alive for that! (He/she even has his/her own post here!)

22- Guilty pleasure

OMG (again... I probably use this acronym far too often) coffee is truly the best. This would be an amazingly  cute photo of me were it not for the random guy walking around in the background... (I mean really, if you're going to photobomb, can't you at least do it in an interesting way? Thanks so much.) What's your guilty pleasure?