the explorer's return

So... hi.

Did you miss me? Did you think I was dead? (Honestly, at some points, I thought I was dead. I have never been so tired as when I got off that plane... but here I go, already getting ahead of myself...) Well, I hope you did, and I'm not.

Things I learnt from Explore

• EDWARD SNOWDEN
• French grammar yo (had to stick it in somewhere) 
• Peanut butter peanut butter peanut butter (aka I am not alone in my obsession)
• There is such a thing as too many wraps
• Also too many sandwiches
• Running twice a day is advised
• It is not possible to sing a song too many times (Elle me dit, anyone?) 

• I'm not as smart as I think I am
• It is possible to be entirely consumed by mosquitoes
• I am not as socially awkward as I had always suspected (whattt)
• You need sweatpants
• No matter how sad you feel, mini doughnuts will help
• Sleep is overrated
• Dancing in the rain is not
• POURQUOI?
• I own way too many clothes
• Being pushed in a shopping cart is the way to travel
• You will never regret taking photos
• How to do the carwash (...our own special dance, too special to be explained)
• Tea is the addiction of our generation
• So is flax (go figure, people just got really excited)
• LOUIS RIEL
• Bowling= bonding
• Cold showers after long runs are the best things of life

And, most importantly: 

• it is totally possible to be in love after five weeks (or even much before)

I have never met a group of people I felt this strong a connection with. At the beginning, I felt so many misgivings... but it has been the best summer of my life. I haven't been blogging as much as I might have liked, but in exchange I've definitely been living! 

greetings from winnipeg

So... hi.

I'm alive.

Even well, if you don't count the fact that I'm melting- this is without a doubt the most humid city I have ever visited. I now know how the Wicked Witch must have felt, and pity her sincerely. Other than that, though, I'm having a lovely time!

Best of all... I don't feel lonely. I feel as though this is right where I'm supposed to be.

It's an odd feeling, and not one that I have often. I'm used to being on the outside, looking in- or perhaps on the inside, trapped inside myself, observing my own actions as through through a mirror. (Is that really me? I'm certain my hair didn't look like that this morning...) But, whatever the reason, I feel at home here.

(This may be because I'm exhausted and everything is happening in a dream-like state. Who knows, maybe I really am dreaming- maybe I've been trapped within the mysterious and not-always-functional wifi and this is my plea for help? You may also blame my slightly philosophical state on tiredness. It's the all-purpose excuse.)

anatomy of a prom

The moment that grade twelves wait for all year (or maybe that's just me?) has come and passed. Prom was sweet-bitter; bittersweet, but in reverse, and no less lovely for it. Here's how it all went down...(Warning: long post ahead. But at least I look gorgeous in the photos, so you have plenty of eye candy.)

2:00: wake up with last minute terrors: what if no one shows up? What if everyone else looks much better in their dress than I do?

3:30: convince self that fears are groundless and go back to sleep.

5:30: wake up. Read Georgette Heyer novel and do yoga in attempt to calm self down. This will be basically your entire day, because it doesn't quite work. (Aka: you are so stressed that you're not even hungry. This has never happened to you before, but you appreciate not needing to eat every fifteen minutes.)

2:00: buy Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuchino, because sugar + caffeine= good in every situation. (Especially when you've already been awake for almost 12 hours...)

2:30: arrive at friend's home to start getting ready.

3:30: actually start getting ready. This includes:

-redoing hair 17 times because the style that seemed so simple the first 10 times you practiced has suddenly acquired the complexity of open heart surgery

-acquiring a taste for country music

-texting other friends frantically

-worrying that makeup is too heavy and that you look clownlike

5:45: supposed time of arrival at school.

6:10: actual time of arrival at school. (Oops.) Wander around admiring everyone's dresses.

6:20: get photo taken by professional photographer and feel like model.

(too. much. glamour.) 

 6:30: be forced to put on cap and gown. Realise that the cap makes you look like you're bald, and that you now have to go up on stage wearing it in front of everyone there. (Of course this is also when your date will walk in and you will make a gorgeous first impression.)

6:40: nearly pass out or vomit from stress.

7:00: ceremony actually starts. Listen to long and boring speeches by people you don't even know.

8:00: things are perking up- you've received plenty of scholarships! (The advantages of a) being a nerd and b) going to a small school.)

8:30: realise that if you don't get out of the cap and gown soon you're going to die of excessive sweating before the fun part even starts.

9:00: ceremony finally ends. Sprint to take off your gown, then take lots and lots of photos with friends. They will all be attractive (even if you are as red as a tomato in many of them. And not just your dress. Sigh) despite the awkward school background.

(extra cupcakeness!)

(even though I'm not actually looking, I had to include this to a) show off my eye makeup and b) show off my date... aren't we cute?) 

9:10: admire corsage...

...bought by Bond Girl friends. (The ladies of mystery, dressed all in black.)

(this is honestly my favourite photo of the night. I have no idea why)

9:20: wander around (again) and try to figure out what's going on. (This is your life in a sentence.)

9:30: find the dance floor. Immediately start dancing like a maniac with friends... even if you're the only ones there. (Sad story.)

(we definitely had the most fun)

 9:45: slowdance with date. Dragons. (Like butterflies, but fire-breathing.)

9:50: continue dancing with friends. Forget to say goodbye to all your classmates as they begin to depart for the after-party. (...Whoops.)

10:20: slowdance last song with Kori. Be pleased you are not slowdancing with date because the two of you are so sweaty that it produces a bit of a Velcro attachment effect.

10:30: watch date leave. Realise that, yes, this is all actually happening, and that you won't see many of these people again, and start crying.

10:40: after a few final photos with friends, depart for McDonald's.

11:00: have mood slightly boosted by ice cream and listening in your friends' two separate conversations.

(McDonald's- where all the cool kids go on a Friday night.)

 11:40: leave McDonald's and drive friend home.

12:20: arrive at after-party.

12:22: get bored of after-party. Realise that being one of the only sober people is No Fun but have no desire to get drunk.

12:40: leave after-party with other sober friend.

1:20: arrive home. Jump on trampoline in effort to boost mood.

1:30: collapse on kitchen floor and cry so hard even your cat won't come near you.

2:00: go to bed, still teary but slightly more able to breathe.

...and there you have it: my graduation. Minus the hysterical sobbing (and the never-ending speeches), I enjoyed myself. (And if you really read every word of this, major brownie points to you- not quite enough yet for a home-baked pan, but close.) 

the break-up

So... it's over.

Highschool and I have officially broken up.

It's not a surprise; the relationship hadn't been working for quite a while. I yawned while we were on dates. I read instead of paying attention to what they were saying. I hid under desks to avoid contact (true story) and yet... I feel a pang in my heart at the thought that we're really over.  At my age, 4 years is a long time for a relationship!

At least today was a good day to break up. (Minus the math exam. That was somewhat of a fail... let's just say writing random equations is not always the best way to go.) Sunny, lovely... and filled with cute monsters, of both the cuddly variety...

(the problem with reflective glasses? you can tell I'm taking a selfie)

and the friend variety. 

(so much sexy. the school can't handle it.) 

(Oh, and his sad face? Let's just say I discovered a new skill for air hockey today. WATCH OUT. Especially because my strategy is slamming the puck as hard as possible, without direction of any kind...)

So, despite the fact that I knew the end was coming... it was a good last date. (Give me a day of wandering around with friends anytime.) 

I can't believe we're really done. We've had our ups and downs... but as a whole, I can look back on our time together as a good one. Maybe not the best days of my life (at least I hope not!) but I've definitely learnt, and laughed, and lived. (Do I get extra points for alliteration?) 

So... goodbye, highschool. May everyone else have as successful a relationship with you as I did. 

rollercoaster mania

My deep, dark confession for the week?

I'm secretly an addict.

A rollercoaster addict, that is. (Or a chocolate addict, but that's a whole other story that involves cupcakes baked at 8 am...)

This was such a well-guarded secret (or perhaps I was just in denial?) that I didn't discover it until last week, during my (last-ever!) end-of-year trip.

(this is some of us after we survived the biggest rollercoaster. Amazingly. I thought I was going to die)

Unfortunately, however, my group didn't even go on too many rollercoasters. As often happens when I am involved, we managed to get lost. (Although maybe that's the wrong term- let's call it 'disjointed wanderings' instead?) For this reason, instead of going on many different rides... we went on the swings three times.

But let's be honest here. Who doesn't love swings? (We definitely did- just watch us!)

With all this swinging, I didn't get a chance to take many photos- I was too busy trying not to pass out (and with that description, who wouldn't want to go on rollercoasters?)- but one of my friends did take a few while he was waiting for my other friend and I to go on this ride, as he had decided it was too 'childish'.

(I'm happy here because we hadn't yet started spinning. This soon changed)

He also had a conversation with himself between our phones. Really, I think coming on the ride with us would have been preferable... or maybe not, considering how sick and dizzy I felt afterwards. Spinny rides are officially Not For Me. (However, bumper cars are- a fact I also just discovered. My childhood was spent reading, not playing on these wonderful contraptions... how did I miss out?)

What do you think of amusement parks and rollercoasters? Any rides you'd never try?

weekend statistics

As you may know, over the weekend I was at "les Jeux Franco"... which are basically an excuse for a ton of students (all the cool people! and me) to go to workshops, be completely crazy, and hang out with a ton of students from all over the province! In order to explain my experience, I thought I'd use... statistics? (Math is totally important in my life okay.) 

As we arrived...

Number of people attending: about 650

(thumbs up for speaking French!)

Number of hours I spent in misery (aka on the bus): 2 1/2 (okay so I complain a lot. Basically the sole reason I'm happy my mother works at my school is because it means I can just get a ride from her...) 

During the weekend...

Number of lines I waited in: 15 (no exaggeration. There were A LOT of lines.) 

Number of super awkward conversations I had with people I had just met: 7 (considering I was there for 3 1/2 days, I consider this a low number and am accordingly proud) 

Number of Doctor Who fans I discovered: 5 (I found my people! Also, looking at my Facebook wall, I realised that almost everything there has to do with it. I am not subtle about my obsessions.) 

Number of times I drank tea: 0 (do you know how deprived I was?) 

(however, since I'd made a friend from the town, I did get an Ice Capp during the final show... a good reason to be social!)

Number of times I heard, "What? You're graduating? I thought you were in grade nine!": 12 (thanks world, love you too)

Number of times I fell over while practicing our dance routine (yes, I was in dance, don't laugh): 4 (thankfully none of these were during our big finale!)

(we won for best team spirit! we also didn't really have time to do makeup, so excuse the football stripes)

As we were leaving..

Percentage of people who were crying: 50 (not me) 

Number of random people I didn't know who hugged me: 5 (and no, this is not just people-I-did-not-recognise, these were literally people who I had never seen before...) 

Number of times a bus other than mine was called and I freaked out because I thought it was mine and they had left without me: 8 (there were a lot of buses)

And finally:

Number of times I laughed, made friends, and generally had fun: too many to count! 

How was your weekend? Did you ever do camps like this in highschool? 

in which I talk about how I did nothing

Welcome to this week's edition of... Friday Letters! Are you surprised that I'm actually doing a similar post two weeks in a row? To liven things up, let's guess why. Is it...
a) because I like doing this linkup? or...
b) because I have really done nothing this week that is noteworthy and so I resort to imaginary conversations for blog fodder?

Yeah so... it was mostly b). But this is fun!

Dear World: I'm sorry for doing absolutely nothing this week. I'll try harder next week. (...LIES.) But, as they say...

(source)

Dear Chemistry Test: why did you have to be right before lunch? I think I failed some of your questions just because I was thinking too much about food...

Dear The Office: ...why are you ruining my life. Seriously. Pam and Jim are the TV couple I have looked up to my entire childhood as an example of sanity and utter adorableness... they can't break up. I'm begging you.

(source)

Dear Jesse: thank you for making me laugh so hard with your latest tea video! And for making me feel that I was semi-having a conversation with you and so was only semi-pathetic and antisocial. (Semi is about as good as it gets.) Loveee youuu, tea/DW/loner/too-many-things-to-count-buddy!

Dear Healthy Brownies:

(her photo, not mine)

Thank you for being so delicious! When I eat you, I feel both satisfied and healthy... so yay! (The recipe can be found here- I would definitely recommend you try them!)

Dear Weather: make up your mind. Are you in a good mood? (aka sun and warmth) or a bad mood? (aka rain and wind) So far you seem to be tending towards the latter, but since YOU. CHANGE YOUR MIND. LIKE A GIRL. CHANGES CLOTHES (#retrosongmoment) I really can't tell what's going on.

Happy Friday, blog ninjas!

hold on when you get love... you haven't had enough

By now, I'm sure it'll come as no surprise that I love music and anything that allows me to be loud and generally disruptive. For this reason, I love concerts- everyone else is even louder than I am! I mentioned here that I'd be attending some... and well, you already know how my Emilie Autumn one went (aka, it didn't)... but I never wrote about Stars. Or Marianas Trench.

Let's just say they went a lot better.

I'm calling this artistic blur

yes, it was in a church.  I don't think you can get any more special

I feel like this is a digeridoo... again, the coolness factor is through the roof

(Side note: The lead singer also wore hipster glasses. Be still my beating heart.)

we hid from the world inside a disco ball

...So that might have been the best night of my life. 

But the next one was almost as good. 

awkward selfies are mandatory

(This was taken during the first of the opening acts. I'll just say we ate chocolate the entire time and let you draw your own conclusions from that...) 

just so you know that yes, I really was there and this is not just my imagination

but seriously, I want these pants

and just as seriously omg he is so attractive, marry me plzzz

However, none of this compares to the fact that I put gas in the car for the first time alone yesterday. (BE IMPRESSED.) Why could this excitement not be spread out? Like peanut butter! OMG, it totally is like peanut butter- I always drain all the oil out, and then it doesn't spread at all... so it's like clumps of deliciousness... clumps of excitement? It might not be the most well-written metaphor, but it's accurate! 

...that might have been the most awkwardly written paragraph of my life. English teachers, feel free to disown me. 

On another note of awkwardness... the dancing. For once, I don't mean mine (even I can't ruin jumping up and down) but that of the main singers' of both bands... they might have been worse than me. (Except minus the falling down and bruises.) This was a great comfort- hey, if they're famous, I can't be that awful, right? 

...this is tired-person logic. It's after eight. Time for bed.

What amazing concerts have you attended?

tea makes the world go 'round

...or at least my personal world. (At any given time, half of the dishes in our dishwasher are tea mugs/steeping balls/other tea paraphernalia. On another note, I had no idea "paraphernalia" was spelt that way. Rare are the words that elude me, but that managed to do it.)

This post is dedicated to Jesse, who turns 18 today! Happy birthday, bro, and have fun drinking (...tea?) for me!

First off: Coconut Oolong!

David's Tea's Spring Collection came out March 6th, and this was part of it. I love coconut... and creamy teas... so this looked wonderful! (One of their other new teas is called "Pom Tango". Every time I scroll by it quickly, I think it says "Porn Tango" and am just like... no, I did not just read that...)

Next up: Carrot Cake!

Cause let's face it... if there's 'cake' in the title, it must be good! (I wonder if you could add cream cheese icing on top?)

Next... homophone love, Coco Cocoa! (So it's not titled precisely that... but close enough. My version sounds cooler!)

Again with the coconut... and sweetness... I think it's evident what kind of flavours I like. (Seriously though. Calorie-free cocoa. And coconut.)

And, last but not least.... Strawberry Cuppa Chocolate.

(All of this company's teas seem to have 'cuppa' in the name. Is this some odd US thing that I should know about?) Since I can no longer find David's Tea Strawberry Shortcake tea (why do they discontinue all the teas I want. WHY DO YOU HATE ME WORLD???)  this one looks like a lovely substitute! 

Plus, Em gave it to me as a birthday present. (Kinda.) So I'd better like it, right? (Love you forever for offering this to me, Em! Or maybe just hate you because now I want it... so yeah...)

Last comment, on friends giving me strange but lovely gifts (I can tie anything together): according to this Time Lord Namer, (shown to me by Jesse- happy birthday again, bro!) I am now to be known as... The Xenobiologist.

I have no idea what that is.

But it sounds cool, so all is well.

EDIT: omg, just looked it up, and it's a scientist who studies/speculates on alien life forms.

Coolness factor= infinity.

coolio schoolio

So... some days, I actually like school.

THE HORROR.

How could anyone admit to such a thing? In what universe could learning be considered cool? 

But really, some days... are almost... fun? 

-Playing with clear plastic squishy spheres (apparently they're what goes in diapers? except minus the less thrilling paper coating... or whatever else it is that goes in diapers, I really have no idea)

-Drinking tea that tastes like wine (really sweet, fruity wine. Not that I drink wine, but it tastes like wine smells... except less like vinegar. Was that clear enough for you?)

-Handing in a math worksheet and realising that no, I did not get all the answers wrong (sadly the test is a different story)

-Eating salad (okay so that's a joy that could happen anywhere, anytime)

-Mixing random components together to make plastic (who knew it was that simple? Apparently it can also be done with milk... ewwww)

And best of all, wearing cool Leviathan goggles.

(Before you ask, no. They are not mine, and I have no idea why he had them in his bag... and people say I'm overprepared?) Steampunk is in, ninjas... and school is cool because it taught me what steampunk was. You can't say it's not useful now! (As are cat ears. You don't get much more stylish than this... ignoring the polo shirt and hoodie three waist sizes too big of course. And when I say "waist size" I mean "it makes me look like I'm pregnant with a watermelon".) 

However, the best part of school is... not attending it. 

That's right. By the time you read this, I'll be in France! Discovering new and unknown lands! (Here there be dragons. Or possibly just lots of coffee... in my dreams!) Wish me luck... and lots of sleep. 

sugar and spice and everything nice

It is my cherished belief that you are never the wrong age to:
a) wear pretty dresses
b) drink tea
c) have a birthday party.

That's why, this past weekend, I combined all three! (My guests were ordered to come wearing dresses en lieu of the usual gift-bearing... okay no I just like ordering them around, no trade-off involved cause you know, presents!)

just to show how cold our house is... my poor guests needed to wrap up well

omg tea. there are no words.

also, food. isn't everything so tiny and pretty?

we headed upstairs for a photo shoot, and Tilney finally got some love

see? I'm not the only one who loves hats!

Cécile and I are spies, while Kori is our obliviously happy spy-ee? 

Bronwynne is also part of our amazing spy cult, watch out

...while Anna just likes frogs (there were probably 20 photos similar to this one)

after so much exertion, more food was necessary before Tamara ate our heads off (or Cécile's spun all the way off...)

there were fights over who got to eat... the pickles? 

OMG LISTS... let's just say my friends know me well. 

 this bag was also a contested favourite... I wouldn't be surprised if my basement was raided later

snow angels are equally ageless!

...although I personally don't see the appeal of sitting on the road

The next section of the evening was free of photographic evidence... but let's just say it involved more food, and more screaming. (AKA: we watched a horror movie. That is, some people watched a horror movie. I fell asleep, so obviously it could not have been that traumatizing...) 

note that I am alone here because no one else wanted to show off their gorgeous mask

seriously I don't understand why

...and that was that! (Apologies for the lack of text in this post- I'm currently in the midst of packing for France (confession: you can barely see my floor under the mountains of clothes) and my creative inspiration is therefore running a bit dry... being entirely devoted to figuring out gorgeous outfits!)

Thank you to all who attended... and to the chefs (/cult/parents) who made such a lovely spread possible! (and ensured that no one's head was eaten... I truly was worried at some points!) Do you still have birthday parties? What about tea parties? 

overcoming obstacles (aka a terror of skiing)

Yes... I am alive! (Or perhaps I'm a zombie and I just haven't realised it yet. I haven't had any odd cravings for brains yet, only chocolate, but I'll keep you posted.) Skiing was, in fact, wonderful, thanks mostly to my wonderful bros (yes I use that word now, I have been corrupted) Kori and Cécile. There were no:

a) tears (okay, a few mentally, but I kept it well inside)
b) collisions (amazingly I did not hit a tree, impressive)
c) injuries (although my legs are quite stiff today... another sign of zombie-ism?)

Although I stayed in snowplow snake (my term... you know, when you zigzag wildly across the entirety of the hill) the entire time, I think it went rather well. I may not have been the most graceful (but then, when am I ever?) but I had fun!

Warning: photo avalanche follows... I hope you're not buried!

the obligatory graceful chair pose in the lobby... don't I look perfectly lodge-like?

and again, be astounded by the beauty and grace. Cécile is a little less enthusiastic... perhaps wondering why she invited me... 

the stuffies are prepared to devour all the gummies before Cécile and Kori can get to them!

my latest superpower: I can fly! however, I am also adept at falling on my face...

Note I and Kori's favourite shirts of the moment: grey sparkly owl sweater and green Celtics hoodie! one last pretty photo before the hot tub

various "the bachelor" reactions: what is this? does he have a harem? 

needless to say, we were not impressed.

And on that cheerful note... the next day begins. Drumroll please! 

Girl Rule: there must be at least one mirror selfie per trip!

thank you Kori for ensuring that Cécile and I were not driven mad by our hair!

she makes putting on ski goggles look cool.

all ready to head out! (note that we haven't started yet... aka no looks of terror)

be impressed by the snowplow. I'm still amazed I didn't cross my skis...

OMG we survived a blue run! what is this!

alternatively, I may be about to eat Cécile's ear. I was pretty hungry

the sweater trade! betraying our schools, muahaha

...and then we returned home, and nearly fell asleep in the car, and I went to work, and daily life returned.

Sometimes you just need a lovely break from reality. Thank you, my dearest friend-people (and to Cécile's wonderful parents) for making this possible!