Friday, April 12, 2013

letters to the universe

Dear Death Cab for Cutie: omg I love you except you just make me want to cry and omg never again will I listen to you at the library because the tears are a tad embarassing...

Dear Spring: where are you? We have had one sunny day in the past month. ONE. And today it's hailing. Get over here soon before I decide to move to another warmer country! #notimpressed (Okay I'm not altogether sure why you would be perturbed by such a threat... but still. Be very scared.)

Dear Pakistani Tea: at least I have you to comfort me. You're cooking on the stove and I can smell you all the way upstairs... mmmm. If only I had a warm fire to cuddle by... or someone to cuddle with...

Dear Kitties: I guess I have you... except the two of you take up my entire bed. And have also covered it in fur. Thanks so much.

Also, why do you eat mango? Off my plate? Are you really a cat?

Good thing you're cute. Or I would toss you outside. (Okay no I don't want to go outside... maybe just lock you into the bathtub. No wait you like licking the bathtub... I give up)

Dear Charles Dickens: okay so you might be dead (but you live on in Doctor Who! so it's all good... I think my new life ambition is to be featured in Doctor Who. WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF) but your books are amazing... plans for the day= made.

Dear The Fountainhead: you on the other hand I could do without. Although I admire your concepts... I could have done with some shorter speeches... (aka, ones less than five pages long) However I hear your brother-book Atlas Shrugged has one that is a full 30 000 words, so I should simply be grateful I escaped reading that... 
Seriously though. A character is a character. A philosophical concept is a philosophical concept. The two should not mix.

Happy Friday, blog ninjas!


  1. Dear Kitties:
    Why do you scratch on the door at night to be let out into the hallway, then hide under the bed when I get up to open the door? Why do you always head for the carpets when you're going to barf up a hair ball? The tile in the kitchen would be a much better place to throw up. And why do you keep trying to trick me into feeding you dinner twice? Do you think I'm that gullible?
    Purrsnickety and Deja Mew's Mom

  2. I enjoyed your letters. I hope the universe answers with a coherent reply.


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