my cat is a time traveller

I used to think that my cat was just clueless, but I have recently realised that there is a method to her madness other than pure stupidity. (Sad confession: she now looks at us when we say 'stupid' or 'dumb' because she knows we are most likely talking to her. And purrs. I'm not sure who this reflects worse on...) It's clear: she must be a time traveller!

I came to this conclusion after observing her in her natural habitat (the kitchen, the living room, and the furry spot on my bed) for several mornings. Some days, she is affectionate... Too much so. In her haste to accost us, she often trips and runs into the door. (Like pet like owner...) This is probably because she has been away and misses us desperately.

Other days, she runs back and forth across the kitchen. Not just once: six or seven times in a row. (As you can imagine, this makes preparing food difficult and also provides an occasion for her to steal mango, arugula, and buns from our plates... snacks for her trip?) This is because she's trying to augment her speed enough to fly away... and when she subsequently disappears, she's not just in the darkest deepest corner under the bed: she's in another universe!

All this running also makes it puzzling that, some days, she seems plumper than others. While this could be ascribed to eating the houseplants, time travel seems a far more reasonable explanation. All those gravitational forces can't be good for a girl! (However, now that I think of it, neither can eating the plants. I think some of them are poisonous... which might also account for the brain damage...) 

Seriously. It all makes sense now. She's the perfect example of a mad scientist, right down to the crazy hair! (She's so absorbed in time travel that our other cat has to bathe her.)

Happy Friday, blog ninjas! What are your odd pet theories?