the alternate use of nail polish remover

I love nail polish. (And HATE long nails. They should belong solely to cats- or crazy cat ladies.) I love trying out different colours and effects- the brighter, the better! (Right now I'm wearing neon orange. Does it clash horribly with all my clothes? Yes, but at least it's noticeable!) However, there are definitely some inconveniences. It doesn't really wash well- there's a lovely bright pink stain on my kilt to prove that. It smells absolutely toxic (although I've heard that some people actually eat it? What's up with that?) and it takes FOREVER to take off. (Also, some colours stain. Blue= corpse hands= very creepy.)

After my 'vampire' attack last week, I decided to apply a nice, bright red. (After all, accessorising is everything!) BAD IDEA. It was extraordinarily difficult to distinguish the blood from the nail polish on my hands. (Out, out, damned spot! Maybe if nail polish remover had been around then, Lady Macbeth never would have killed herself. Hm...) I think I confused them in every single location. My gouges and teeth marks were left burning (although blindingly clean, I'm sure!) but I'm still covered in nail polish. (Yes, I do mean covered. I later discovered some on my ear and on my knee, and I have no idea how it got there.)

Life lesson of the day: nail polish remover (like stationary bikes!) can be a dangerous weapon.