You must be amazed- two entries in two days! What is this? It's my amazing writerly dedication to you, my amazing audience. I know, I know, it warms the heart. It's definitely not because it's Monday morning, I'm exhausted and I don't want to work... Who would do that? Not me, that's for sure -innocent smile-. No, today I will talk about something very important. That is... maps.
Who doesn't love maps, right?
There's all those nice lines! Some of them are squiggly and some of them are straight! There's all these different colours! And they mean different things! Wherever you are, they'll help you not get lost! Let's have a cheer for maps- one, two, three...
Okay, and now you're thinking... what kind of a weirdo is this girl? Last entry she said that she only attracted freaks... it's totally justified. Well, let me explain. The other day, my friend and I got lost in the schoolyard.
-Insert moment of stunned silence here-
Yes, it's true. It is possible to get lost in the schoolyard. (In our defence, it's pretty big. We couldn't see from one end to the other. Except that might be because we weren't wearing our glasses/contacts.) But see, if we'd had maps, we wouldn't have gotten confused. We wouldn't have walked around in a circle for fifteen minutes. We wouldn't have had to re-enter the school, to jeers and snickers, and ask for directions. (And then, after all that, we got lost again on our walk. Whoever said life wasn't fair wasn't joking.)
See, if we'd had maps, this whole tragedy would have been averted. Since that day, I've discovered a newfound love for all things direction-related and live in fear of the same thing happening again. (Did you know that compasses can make a great fashion statement when worn as earrings?) My friend wasn't quite as scarred. She went on to actually be somewhat capable in directions; I think that this event, that messed up my mental GPS maybe forever, somehow managed to rewire hers so that it worked.
And what, you might ask, was so important to justify this long and confusing walk? The answer is simple. More procrastination. (It was either walk to the school-ordained crossword tournament in the February rain and potentially be late, missing out on more than half of it, or take a toasty bus and actually have to pay attention. Which would you choose?)