Why is it that some mornings seem so much earlier than others? Some days, I feel like 'YAY IT'S TIME TO GET UP! This will be a great day!" (Yes, I'm a morning person. Actually, it's more that I'm not a night person- I've been known to fall asleep at seven pm. During sleepovers. And everyone knows that 'sleepover' is code for 'all-nighter'.) Today, on the other hand, I arrived at school without realising I had even gotten up yet. Did I teleport? Take that evil creation known as 'the bus'? Who knows? Most tragic of all, everyone else's hair looks better than mine. (You'd think that my hair would realise, oh, she's tired, we'll give her a break and look great! But no. It's a ball of fluff.)
Actually, no, that's not even the worst part. I now have to confess...
I am afflicted with Type 1 Klutzitude- the most severe form. (I know, you feel so bad for me! Tears are forming in your eyes! Oddly enough, in most people, their grief emerges as laughter.) I trip over cracks in the sidewalk and even grass that's been cut too straight. (One of my friends came up with the idea of airblocks- invisible pieces of solid air that appear just when it's least convenient- and I swear she's right.) I've learnt to deal with this disorder and, most days, it doesn't prevent me from living a relatively normal life. (If you consider being tripped by gusts of wind normal.) However, on days like today, it comes out with a vengeance.
Today will be one of those days. You know- the ones where I will run into doors that weren't closed a second ago (does this happen to anyone else? IT FREAKS ME OUT) trip over yellow squares on the floor (...no, they're not actually any different than the white ones) and, best of all, go to soccer practice.
Is this a symptom of some exotic disease? Not unless wanting to play soccer is simply a result of the many times I've hit my head. It's just that I know I'm probably going to run into players on my own team, trip over the ball and faceplant in the dirt. (This all happened yesterday, and I wasn't even tired.)
Sigh. I need some caffeine. Or, even better, a brain transplant.