Tuesday, April 3, 2012


Note the capital letter and period at the end; this is a serious subject. There are lives at stake here. (The lives of brain cells...and I wouldn't be surprised if people died of despair after receiving lower than a 90.)

Now, I consider myself a relatively intelligent person. I -gasp, shock!- actually like math. (Yes, I am a dork. I made my peace with that a long time ago.) However, Physics is not math. It's Physics. This is an Important Difference. (Capital letters and all.)

For example, it is far more violent. Here is a sample question: "You throw a bomb at 3,4 metres per second. It explodes 10 seconds later, catapulting three different pieces in three different directions at three different speeds. If there is a density of 5,3 mutant squirrels per square kilometre, how many mutant squirrels will each piece hit?"

...Yeah. Okay. This is against both my vegetarian and hippie principles. (Not that I would want to eat a mutant squirrel even if I wasn't vegetarian... they're a little too green for my taste, or anyone's who doesn't want food poisoning.) Are they training us to become assassins? (Hmm... that might actually be interesting. However, in our bright yellow uniforms, I can't see us getting close enough.)

My other problem with it is that I am forced to beg other people for help. This requires a lot of preparation, both mental and physical. Much makeup and smile practice is necessary. (While shopping the other day, I found foundation with a shovel applicator. YES! I don't have to forge my own trowels anymore!) 

This is also where my amazing mascara comes in handy. I've used eyelash batting to great effect, saying "...will you please help me?" and insert sweet smiles. (At least I'm hoping it's sweet. It might just be frightening... Maybe he thought I was about to bite him and that's why he agreed. But I'd rather believe that it was just my natural charm.) 

Physics thus works on many life skills at once. (Does that make it sound like a good thing? Whoops.) However, if you really want to become an assassin or a professional flirt (groupie?) I would suggest going to a school that doesn't have highlighter-neon uniforms.


  1. Physics is not the field such Wicked Hippies as ourselves would like to take so I must insist they stop trying to teach it to us...

  2. I agree! Really, it should just be eliminated altogether.


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