Online quizzes. We've all taken them, in advance stages of boredom or procrastination. (Apparently I'm a chili pepper!) I think we can all agree that they're at least slightly accurate. (I can totally relate to being a bright red vegetable that people think is kinda weird.) So then why is it that, when we actually have to take them for school, they are so completely wrong?
Yes. I am talking about that dreaded creation known as ...Career tests.
My theory is that they're all elaborated by a race of aliens who wants to bring the earth to destruction... or who just don't understand anything about us. (Haha! I've found your secret! Wait, no. I bet it's the mutant squirrels. THEY'RE OUT TO GET ME, I tell you!) Otherwise, why would it have told me I was destined to become... -dramatic drumroll- a soldier?
I know. It makes no sense.
Reason 1 Why I Shouldn't Be A Soldier (aka Wisbas) (That sounds sweet, like a kitten's whisker... not the menacing tone I was going for): I am afraid of insects. (Blood doesn't bother me, since I get into so many accidents, but bugs... And somehow I don't think that waking up the entire camp at three in the morning because a fly landed on my cheek would endear me to anyone.)
Wisbas Reason 2: As previously mentioned, I am a klutz. I would be far more likely to shoot myself in the foot (literally!) than to use any weapon correctly.
Wisbas Reason 3: Really, those two reasons should be enough.
At least I wasn't in the same scenario as one of my friends, who was told "There are no employment possibilities that match your interests." Ouch. Does this mean he's condemned to live as a hobo?
Well, at least I understand why no one wants to hire me. Since all my test results just scream 'soldier!' they're just worried I'll quit when I see how suited I am to a different profession. It has nothing at all to do with anything I said or did during the interview. It's just some weird psychic knowledge... right? It's not because I was wearing my good-luck purple feathery earrings, and one of them fell into the interviewer's drink?
...no, that can't be it.
(Completely random side note- yes, I love Marianas Trench. If you don't know them, look them up now!)