Saturday, April 7, 2012

testing testing, i'm just suggesting, you and I might not be the best thing

Online quizzes. We've all taken them, in advance stages of boredom or procrastination. (Apparently I'm a chili pepper!) I think we can all agree that they're at least slightly accurate. (I can totally relate to being a bright red vegetable that people think is kinda weird.) So then why is it that, when we actually have to take them for school, they are so completely wrong?

Yes. I am talking about that dreaded creation known as ...Career tests.

My theory is that they're all elaborated by a race of aliens who wants to bring the earth to destruction... or who just don't understand anything about us. (Haha! I've found your secret! Wait, no. I bet it's the mutant squirrels. THEY'RE OUT TO GET ME, I tell you!) Otherwise, why would it have told me I was destined to become... -dramatic drumroll- a soldier?

I know. It makes no sense.

Reason 1 Why I Shouldn't Be A Soldier (aka Wisbas) (That sounds sweet, like a kitten's whisker... not the menacing tone I was going for): I am afraid of insects. (Blood doesn't bother me, since I get into so many accidents, but bugs... And somehow I don't think that waking up the entire camp at three in the morning because a fly landed on my cheek would endear me to anyone.)

Wisbas Reason 2: As previously mentioned, I am a klutz. I would be far more likely to shoot myself in the foot (literally!) than to use any weapon correctly.

Wisbas Reason 3: Really, those two reasons should be enough.

At least I wasn't in the same scenario as one of my friends, who was told "There are no employment possibilities that match your interests." Ouch. Does this mean he's condemned to live as a hobo?

Well, at least I understand why no one wants to hire me. Since all my test results just scream 'soldier!' they're just worried I'll quit when I see how suited I am to a different profession. It has nothing at all to do with anything I said or did during the interview. It's just some weird psychic knowledge... right? It's not because I was wearing my good-luck purple feathery earrings, and one of them fell into the interviewer's drink?, that can't be it.

(Completely random side note- yes, I love Marianas Trench. If you don't know them, look them up now!)


  1. I love that Wisbas thing. I am totally going to use it next time some body suggests I join the army!

  2. Does that happen often? For your sake, I hope not ;)


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