here there be dragons

So, while everyone is busy posting about goals and resolutions... I thought I'd lend a little lightness to the atmostphere by posting about dragons.

Why dragons, you may ask? Well, I've always related to them far more than to those prissy little princesses in fairytales. They're just trying to get along as well as they can, stealing a few sheep here and there (and let's be honest here. Does anyone really like sheep that much? They're just like little balls of fluff. Characters in novels are always mentioning how tough their mutton was. Having a dragon around is far preferable, even if they do all get eaten... that way the poor characters don't have to suffer and lose a few teeth while chewing) when along swoops that pesky knight, trying to attain honour and glory by slaying some innocent creature. (You can probably guess what my feelings on hunting are...)

Thankfully, it seems that, although they remain an endangered species, not all dragons have been extinguished, as I had the pleasure to meet one this weekend!

Really, why would you want to get rid of a creature so sparkly?

(And congratulations random strangers. You're now immortalised on my blog.)

This is exactly why travelling with my parents, down and through random castles, is enjoyable- you never know what you might discover and, while unrealistic, pretending to be a princess as I wander aimlessly is quite fun as well.

While I wasn't meeting mythological creatures...there may also have been even more shopping. Just a teensy bit. (OMG that's such a lie. Just ask my father, who managed to be marvellously patient throughout all the "oh-just-one-more-store"s and "this'll-just-be-ten-minutes-I-swear"'s- love you, Dad!

Oh, and because no weekend of travel is complete without a soundtrack, here's the song currently being overplayed on my iPod:

travelling through the snow

I'm sitting on a hotel room bed in my favourite city while my mother watches Extreme Couponing. The first part of this sentence is exciting; the second, not so much. (What is wrong with these people? It looks like they're preparing for the zombie apocalypse!) Amazingly enough, this time our hotel is not sketchy! (Not yet anyway... we do have one more night. And great, now Maroon 5 is going through my head...)

However, there was a problem. Remember that hotel that had a waffle maker? This one had a pancake maker. (Which do you prefer, dearest ninjas? I can't decide... BOTH!) I waited for like an hour and a half to  use it... before someone finally told me that it wasn't working. (Like seriously, you couldn't have told me this before? You didn't notice my longing looks? The sadness of my life..) (And as usual, I'm talking about food. I definitely have my priorities straight!)

So what are we doing here? Well, so far, there's been a lot of driving. (Round and round... mostly because no one knew where we were going.) There has also been a play. What play, you ask? Are you imagining something Shakespearian? In this case, no. (Although I do love Shakespeare. Except for Othello, because everyone is caught in a morass of stupidity and deserved their deaths. Yes, I am bitter- reading that in my English Literature class might have scarred me for life, much like the time my parents forced me to drink a glass of milk. These moments were both equally awful.)

Omg, I totally forgot what I was writing about. What I was getting to: the play we saw was a spoof of Snow White. Actually, Snow White + James Bond. What could be better? Also, there were cute boys who were dancing to "I'm Sexy and I Know It" in pink velour suits... just the icing on the cake! (Does that sound bizarre? It was legit hilarious.)

Oh, and there has been MAJOR shopping. Haul post coming up soon? I think so! (No more spoilers, though -wink-)

So how has your break been going? (I just realised that some of you are not on break and that question may have caused you to break into tears. If that is the case, I apologise and send you hugs and tea!) (Not the sip I just spit onto my keyboard, though- the Extreme Couponer's husband just said that her pregnancy was making her 'unfit to coupon'. I hadn't realised it was such a sport... If I'm going to keep up all this shopping, maybe I should try this out? New way to exercise!) (Omg, they just said she spent over 10 hours at the store. And is freaking out that she has to spend 56 cents. What's wrong with these people?)

hold me tight and let it snow

This post will be an exercise in speedwriting- we're waiting for our dinner guests to arrive! (As always. I can't remember a Christmas Eve they weren't at least an hour late- once we ate without them... yet we love them anyways.) It may also be slightly incoherent- I am absolutely famished. (For some reason work makes me hungry. It must be the effort of being polite. And yes, I worked on Christmas Eve... sadness)

So, last Friday... I mentioned I was snowed in. YES. This means... that there was snow! Legit snow! And there still is! My life is made. If nothing else had happened over the holidays I would have been content. (But stuff did... so I am over the moon.)

So, what do I decide to do in a snowstorm? Walk to Starbucks. One of my friends owed me a hot chocolate (I gave him my wonderful mirrored sunglasses- seems like a fair trade, right?) and we thought, oh, it's not too bad out... let's go!

Hahaha. Right.

We were soaked within five minutes of our walk. We were pounded by wind and ice pellets. And, believe it or not, it was lovely. We debated running away on the train, but decided that our remaining five cents- Starbucks is expensive!- wouldn't get us far enough.

Aren't we pretty?

(And so was his hair after our trip.

Doesn't he look like Edward Cullen? I looked like Medusa... reason there are no photos of me!)

Then, what did I find when I arrived home but... a package from Jesse! Video to come- a response to his, although I don't know if it'll be quite as good (cause omg that was pretty sweet) so I won't reveal too much... but let me just say, if I ever decide to get a tattoo, it might look something like this!

(Hahaha no. But I do like the placement! This was my happiness touchstone during work... I just looked at it and reminded myself that people do love me and that I am not the reason for the downfall of the world, as some irate shoppers seemed to think.)

At the risk of sounding cheesy and cliché... I love my friends and family. I believe myself to be amongst the luckiest people on Earth because really, they are all wonderful. I laugh with them, cry with them, steal their food and smack them. (But not too hard because they probably all have better reflexes.) I don't know why they love me, but for some reason they do... and I am absolutely blessed. My wish for you: that you can be as lucky as I am.

Happy holidays, lovely ninjas, and may all your wishes come true.

all dressed up with nowhere to go (also, snow)

My latest vlog, detailing the sadness of my life this evening.

Ok, so it's not really that sad but still. (I put that so that you'd pity me and watch it. Did it work?)

why did they push back the date. why.

Longer post tomorrow, when I've had some sleep + coffee + warmth (let's just say that today was one of the wettest days of my life) but for now:

The Great Gatsby + Florence and the Machine= omgIcan'teven...

i wish...

Tis the season... for impossible wishes! 

• well I think you can guess the first one (it starts with s and ends with now)
• at the risk of sounding like an old geezer (not that everyone old is a geezer, just to specify) I’m certain there was more snow when I was younger
• so I also wish for a time-travelling machine
• it’d be nice to know if my prediction that I will be a crazy cat lady actually comes true

• and also I’d really like to have a snowball fight with my younger self
• or simply have friends who would have snowball fights with me because my friends are/were just lame
• that I personally could be less lame sometimes (I mean really the word lame by itself is pretty bad) (and let’s not even discuss my burning desire to use sophisticated words) (okay at least that’s better than using “like” fifteen times a day)
• that I was less hungry right now
• seriously, the last period before lunch always kills me
• that’s why I’m writing a blog post and not actually working on my English project- I WANT THIS

• eggnog pie, like seriously, how amazing does that sound?
• that unhealthy food was less tasty- or that someone invents a healthy chocolate, come on, we’re long overdue

What are some of your wishes this season?

snow days

Snow day (noun): 

1. a day during which the weather is so bad that the school buses are cancelled and students do not attend school. (What it is not: a day in which there is snow. Our schoolboard always seems to cancel it on the wrong days- today it's just really rainy- but hey, no complaints!)

2. a) a day during which highschool students sleep all day. (Hahaha, I wish.)

b) a day during which highschool students madly scramble to finish all the projects that they have due. (This is more like it! My project for the day was... wrapping presents! Here's before...

And after! Note that I'm only showing the front of the wrapped presents because the bottoms are really lumpy... penguins are probably better at wrapping than I am. I freely admit it.

As for how it went: I cut myself on the tape dispenser. And bled all over the floor. Other than that, great!)

 c) a day during which much procrastination occurs. (Also true. In addition to all this frantic wrapping... I ate chocolate. And drank tea. And read. If anyone can read French, you should check this series out: Le Journal d'Aurélie Laflamme. So funny. As in, don't read it in public because people might mistake your snorts for choking.) Oh, and I listened to this all day:

No, I was not staring at the video... just absorbing the valuable life lessons contained in the lyrics! There may also have been some (amazingly graceful, of course) dancing happening... just a bit. (As a break from the wrapping.) 

So that was my day. How's your Monday going?

realities of my life

1) There is still no snow. (This deserves a sad post all on its own... but with the number of times I've ranted about it, I think I'll abstain for your sanity.) Seriously, this is Canada. In December. Did the sky not get the memo?

2) I am still socially awkward. Example of a conversation I had today with one of my coworkers:
Me: wait, so... that girl... what's her name... she was here like three seconds ago?
Him: -confused silence-
Me: you know, she's blonde? And works here?
Him: -still looking weirded out- Victoria?
Me: yeah! Her! and... yeah... I can't remember the rest now... sorry, that was kinda pointless...
Him: -shakes head and walks away-

...what can I say, it takes time for me to grow on people. (Somewhat like moss.)

3) I can now drive! As in... by myself... WATCH OUT WORLD! (Actually, I'm not a bad driver. Just not skilled at parking. Or three-point turns. However, I do drive a huge van- think Mystery Machine, but less cool- so on the plus side, if I ever drive a car, I'll be amazingly skilled... or I'll just over-judge and run into more things... Hmm.)

4) Whine whine moan moan, I work too much.

5) I know there were other things I wanted to blog about, but I can't remember what they were. (This happens often. Is this a problem for anyone else?)

6) After seeing me with my enlarged cheeks and lost-a-fight bruises, my supervisor decided to refer to me as 'chipmunk", "rotten fruit", "unripe tomato" and "banana". All my self-esteem has now disappeared -sob- (Haha, kidding, it was actually pretty funny... and at least I've recovered now!)

7) I've been accepted at a university! (What were they thinking, right?) So basically... I'm assured of NOT being stuck here for another year! (Yes, that was the first thing that came to mind when I opened the email... a little sad.)

So that was my life, in a list! (Everything is better in list form. It's a fact.) How was your week?

waittt.... what?

I am now a triple-digit blogger! (The first image that flashed through my mind after typing that was of a person with three fingers. Like a fork!) 101 followers. What. I'm still in shock. (Best Christmas present ever.) Thank you all for reading along, commenting on my follies and ensuring that I don't feel entirely insane.

This was also a bit of a healing experience. Although my face is still not back to its usual foxy self (one of my friends, trying to comfort me, said "Right now, your face is normal, since usually it's strangely skinny..." That made me laugh, which made it hurt more... so it was a bit of a contradiction. However, last night a random customer at work asked me if I had recently been in a fight and broken my jaw... so hmmm, maybe it's obvious even to random strangers...) Ever since I realised that I had now crossed that vital threshold, I can feel my cheeks shrinking! (Logical healing by time? Nahhhh...)

In honour of this moment,  I decided to rename my 'Followers' bar. From 'lListeners'... you shall all become... "Blog Ninjas"! Isn't that just brilliant? (Linear progression: Followers-Listeners- Blog Ninjas. It might not have anything to do with the title of my blog, but it definitely sounds cooler.)

As the shirt says... keep calm and let the ninjas handle it. (Note that this is before the surgery. I debated sharing a photo of my currently overjoyed face, but seeing as I still have bruises the colour of highligher-yellow on my face... yeah, maybe not. Not quite ninja-worthy. Again, it really does look like I've been in a fight. Maybe I should give myself a black eye with makeup to look more impressive?)

Anyway. Thank you all, love you all, and wishing you plenty of snow! (Or, if you'd prefer, you could take some of our sun. I would be totally fine with that.)

further random thoughts (because my head is still scattered... as usual)

1) Apparently laughing gas doesn't make me giggle... it makes me sob. I literally cried for about three hours afterwards for no reason. Scary...

2) So then I spent wayyyy too much time on Tumblr in order to actually laugh. But it was worth it because I found some pretty amazing pictures... such as this.

3) I am blogging right now because I don't feel like working on homework. /student of the year

4) This picture is kind of my life... and the reason I -coughcough- may have eaten an entire carton of ice cream yesterday.

5) Lizzie Bennet + Doctor Who= the best show ever. (Seriously, this has potential.)

6) I say that Twitter is stupid, but the real reason I don't have an account is because I would spend my entire day posting useless updates like:

• OMG there was a spider. On the ceiling. And I don't know where it went. #saveme
• I DON'T WANT TO WORK #everysingleday
• So apparently our cat-proof doors are also me-proof... just got stuck in the basement.
• Vampire Diaries is the bestttt <3 #icanteven
• Further proof that I am destined to be a crazy cat lady: just got rid of all my stuffies but the cats.

(Is that even how hashtags work? I have no idea. Another reason I should never get Twitter.) 

Okay, so I have now procrastinated sufficiently (and given you a way to procrastinate too! I know, you're so thankful)... so I suppose I should go work on homework -sadface- goodbye lovely listeners!

letters after wisdom teeth removal

Dear Facebook: Why are you filled with a) updates from amazing dessert blogs that I just want to eat (but can't, because my mouth is in PAIN) and b) updates from Blogilates asking if I've done my daily workout (which I can't do for a WEEK because they cut me up so much).

YOU BOTH SUCK.

I just want to suffer in peaceeee

and hopefully get some sleeppp

is that too much to ask?

Dear Mum: Why did you have to eat a grilled cheese sandwich (that took me like ten minutes to spell, proof that I am still slightly drugged) RIGHT BESIDE ME? Meanieee. However, you also stole a magazine for me (albeit accidentally) so I suppose I love you a little.

Dear Jesse: even though you don't like the teas I do WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?... you're still pretty cool... HAHAHA you wish. Loser posse buddies forever? (And yes before you ask I am still drugged, a bit.)

Also I am jealous of your photo skills. Like legit. Why can I not make cool faces like that?

Dear smoothie: OMG you taste like icing. Who knew that bananas + protein powder could taste so good? Are you actually filled with nutrients, or is this just all in my mind?

Dear Kori: loveee you, Book Jockeyy! (The name is growing on me!) Seriously, you're so gorgeous and confident and makeup skilled-filled and you attend Open Mic with me so that's like the crowning glory, right? My Christmas wish for you is that you will be able to recommence (is that even an English word?) fencing soon because you're A STAR.

And we've got to make a vlog like stat. (Once my face no longer ressembles a square because I don't want to frighten viewers away.)

Dear sky: where is my snow. I mean seriously. This is getting ridiculous. Christmas is in 18 DAYS, so get cracking!

And for the rest of you lovely listeners: I love you all! Thank you so much for reading, you make me feel special and lovely myself. I wish for you that you never have to go through this pain... although you might already have in which case I extend my full sympathy.

Happy weekend!

at least I'm not the only one

It is a relief to know that, even without me driving, we have bad luck with cars. For example: last night, we blew a tire.

On the highway.

On my way to work.

(Doesn't that just add so much more impact like that? Or is that just in my imagination? Let me know.) Well, at least no one can say I'm not a dedicated employee. I SPRINTED from the highway exit. In general cases, that wouldn't actually be a problem (it's not that far, and I'm not in that bad a shape) but in my wheezy, germy state, I was huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf.

And did I get any sympathy from my coworkers? Course not. They all laughed. My supervisor oh-so-helpfully pointed out, "Why didn't you just call?"

...totally didn't think of that.

In other work-related news, it's beginning to be busier for the Christmas season and so I am no longer quite as bored! However, unfortunately for my waistline, everyone seems to be buying chocolate. (One of my friends recently told me, "It's like you're some chubby kid who sits in front of her computer and eats all day." Love you too, Erika! And I would just like to clarify that is not the case: it's just most of the day.) I mean really though, after watching 50 people go through my cash with chocolate and then having to tidy that area, all I want to do is eat. Show some consideration, peeps! (In the same vein, please refrain from showing up at my cash with 63 items 6 minutes before we close, then asking me to price-check every single one. I mean seriously.)

The worst part of all this? We still have no snow -sob- I think I need to move to the Yukon when I'm older... (Does this have anything to do with work? Not in the slightest. I just like complaining.)

Actually, that's not true. The worst part is that tomorrow, I get my wisdom teeth out... therefore, if there are no longer any posts on this blog, assume that I have died and been reincarnated as something that does not have fingers to type. (I'm hoping for a kitten or a platypus... OMG NO, a penguin! Then I can play in the snow all year round! Although I would have to eat raw fish... hmm, the jury's out on that one.) How has your week been going? Any exciting plans of that genre?

gifts galore

Why staying at home sick is bad? I am absorbed into a vortex of expensive loveliness...AKA Sephora online.

And other random sites, just cause I am a varied person.

Ohmigodcan'teven...

Before I degenerate further into incoherence, I thought I'd share some of my favourite items with you! (Yes, friends and family and random listeners who want to give me presents, I will gladly accept any of these... as in, will do a dance of joy and love you forever.)

OMG sparkles. That is all.

This is the colour set I've been wanting for a while; it seems both summer- and winter-appropriate.

Let's face it: what girl interested in makeup DOESN'T want this palette? So lovely. 

Revlon Ionic Ceramic Pro Stylist: This is actually relevant. (I put the name because frankly, they all look the same...) I need one for university that doesn't take an hour to dry my hair/leave it deadened and dried like spaghetti. (Okay, maybe not quite that dramatic, but still...) (Is it sad that I looked this up on Consumer Reports? Maybe a bit...)(In ANOTHER note, why are they all so expensive?)

OMG. This tea has jellybeans. Can you get any cooler?

The library might have this book... but I have a feeling it's one I could reread, and carry around with me, and just.. LOVE OMG THIS IS SUCH A GOOD BOOK.

Checkmate! (Who needs to play chess when you can have tea?) This just looks scrumptious. Coconut, and the pretty little flowers... mmmm.

...And there's so much more, but let's start with this. (On the plus side, finding all this for myself led me to discover the perfect gifts for a few friends, so I can tell myself I've been productive!)  What's on your wishlist?

questions that have no answers... except they do!

More questions and answers? Yes. Just because they're fun. (Plus I told Jesse I would, and I am a good friend, right peeps?)

What size is your bed?

Single? but I need a bigger one... there's just so many stuffed toys I share it with

What is your song of the week?

This is kind of embarassing...

but Little Things, by One Direction.

Yes, you can shoot me now. 

I'm also loving everything Ed Sheeran, if that helps? (In my defence, it was written by him.)

Plus, Jesse sent me this video and I'm obsessed with it:

Just gorgeous. 

Would you bury treasure if you had some?

No way. SHOPPING SPREE!

Are you afraid of heights?

Not really... like, I'm not super fond of balancing on things (like those high ropes courses) because I have the balance of a drunk toddler (no I have no idea where that metaphor came from) but in general they don't bother me.

Do you sing in the shower?

I sing EVERYWHERE. Public, private, it doesn't matter. Let the music continue!

Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes. Oh my, yes. (Read this post for more info on my ghosts.) I think there are many things that exist both seen and unseen around us. 

What was the worst injury you had?

I've had a couple of broken fingers, but that's basically it. 

Coffee or tea? why?

BOTH. They're both so delicious! (I like tea better when I just want a hot drink, and coffee when I want caffeine.) I'm drinking cookie dough tea right now.... mmmm.

Are you patient?

LOL no. 

What was the last text message you sent?

"Omg I was so jealous when I saw it! I am totes buying it next year when I'm at uni if it's still offered! (Who cares about food when you can have tea? XD)" 

(Just to clarify: I was talking about the David's Tea Advent Calendar. Feel free to send it my way as a Christmas present peeps! -wink-)

What do you want for your first tattoo/what was your first tattoo?

Do I need a tattoo? This question seems very discriminating!

LOL, just kidding, I don't know if I want a tattoo or not... the idea is intriguing, but it's just so permanent- it would have to be something super meaningful. 

So there we go. Did you learn anything new? Were you surprised by any of my answers?