Dear Facebook: Why are you filled with a) updates from amazing dessert blogs that I just want to eat (but can't, because my mouth is in PAIN) and b) updates from Blogilates asking if I've done my daily workout (which I can't do for a WEEK because they cut me up so much).
YOU BOTH SUCK.
I just want to suffer in peaceeee
and hopefully get some sleeppp
is that too much to ask?
Dear Mum: Why did you have to eat a grilled cheese sandwich (that took me like ten minutes to spell, proof that I am still slightly drugged) RIGHT BESIDE ME? Meanieee. However, you also stole a magazine for me (albeit accidentally) so I suppose I love you a little.
Dear Jesse: even though you don't like the teas I do WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?... you're still pretty cool... HAHAHA you wish. Loser posse buddies forever? (And yes before you ask I am still drugged, a bit.)
Also I am jealous of your photo skills. Like legit. Why can I not make cool faces like that?
Dear smoothie: OMG you taste like icing. Who knew that bananas + protein powder could taste so good? Are you actually filled with nutrients, or is this just all in my mind?
Dear Kori: loveee you, Book Jockeyy! (The name is growing on me!) Seriously, you're so gorgeous and confident and makeup skilled-filled and you attend Open Mic with me so that's like the crowning glory, right? My Christmas wish for you is that you will be able to recommence (is that even an English word?) fencing soon because you're A STAR.
And we've got to make a vlog like stat. (Once my face no longer ressembles a square because I don't want to frighten viewers away.)
Dear sky: where is my snow. I mean seriously. This is getting ridiculous. Christmas is in 18 DAYS, so get cracking!
And for the rest of you lovely listeners: I love you all! Thank you so much for reading, you make me feel special and lovely myself. I wish for you that you never have to go through this pain... although you might already have in which case I extend my full sympathy.